Howdy y'all. Get your best bib and tuck on ya cuz this ain't nothin to be taken lightly. As many of you know, barkin irons are a bed-♥♥♥♥♥'s weapon. Now, a weapon like the hatchet... that's a belvidere's weapon. A real man lookin to make his jack would pick it over any other rooty tooty point n'shooty any day. You'll be hotter than a whorehouse on nickel night with a hatchet on your belt!

Now your typical varmit will take one good swing to finish off, but if you wanna go toe to toe with a fellow westman, it's gonna take more than that. On a good day, a typical yellowbelly will take a whoppin three chops. If he's still above snakes then you gotta real problemo amigo. I'd hope a skinny armed balmy b'hoy like yurself would have the knowhow on axe swingin, cuz I ain't runnin an elementary here. Always remember a swing to the noggin does more hurtin. Throwin your chopper is fine jus long as you remember to pick it up agin.

Now that you got the basics, you'll be better than my momma's cookin at killin. You might got what it takes ta be a real wessman, b'hoy. You prolly learned nuthin from this guide but it don't matter now, thur's yella bellies to chop.