GTFO
25 ratings
Dealing with Bosses and Alien beings 101 Macho style
By ☣BLUEGEAR☣ and 2 collaborators
Having trouble with the baby birthing c*nt??
wondering why the big a** monster not taking damage
or why is a flying meatball chasing me??

Well brother this guide is for you, I'm BLUEGEAR professional monster wrestler/ghost beater and multidimensional visitor and today I will show you how to deal with the worst of the worst THE BOSSES and some unique weakling variants alongside some new visitors from another dimension.
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Part 1: Why are these F**KS different than the rest??
Well my little brother friend, what this God forsaken game also has are bosses and or what I call the special C*NT CLUB, special enemy types unique to specific rundowns and zones.

Ugly, bad, stupid AND F**KING BULLS**T SOMETIMES if you don't know what to do against them, Bosses will test you and your fellow battle brothers and possible battle sisters down there.

And just as their weakling counterparts they come in many different shapes, sizes, and this time even origin. SO BUCKLE UP CAUSE WE AS MONSTER WRESTLERS TAKE NO S**T FROM NO MONSTER F**K!!!!
Part 2: Meet the Special S**TS club
In this part fellow brothers, we are gonna talk about unique enemy types that wouldn't count as a boss fight but will be in bossfights specially the second C*Nt, or if you're like me count em as a mini boss fight given how unique they are.

  • Charger Scout: I know this fella isn't really a boss but none the less, this spiky C**T gave me and my Boyz a proper fight unlike the other B*TCHY variants, since this F**KER has no dmg multiplier to the head needing two charged hits to take him down properly and how in deeper zone or secondary sectors they're abundant, Cfoam is a good tool, but we use style rather than tools so my best advice against this itchy twitchy, fast little SPAGHETTI F**K is by following these simple steps:

    Step 1: coordinate with your fellow brothers, analyze its patrol pattern.
    Step 2:once coordinated and learnt it's patrol pattern wait for the perfect moment to..


  • Floaters: one of the new enemies in the game, first seen in the other place aka the weird desert dimension also know as Australia these lovecrftian horrors will hunt you down and even in some instances will travel to our reality, they might look like flying meatballs, and their tracking used to be S**T these fellas have earned the title of big nuisance solo or when dealing with sleeper or the big bad guy (but we shall get to this F**K later on), their weak point is the mouth/ eye in the center of its meaty flying body, and are rather weaker than a normal sleeper but as F**KING ANNOYING AS THE SLUG SONS OF B**CHES.



  • Armored floater: added during rundown 6 extended these F**KING ROCK LOOKING FLYING SHOOTING A**HOLES act like a floater, but slower and as the name implies it's Armored being covered in a thicc rock like carapace that will ignore all dmg, will shoot in bursts after a small charge displayed by its eye mouth glowing, the only way to take these fellas down is by shooting the weak spot shared by all floaters and that's their eye mouth thing, I recommend using accurate hard hitting weapons like the trusty revolver or the good ol sniper but unloading on it is viable too.

    You'll encounter these floating LAVs when traveling to the other dimension, also taking the role of the big boy among the floater branch.


  • The snatcher: the newest member added to this merry gang of DEFORMED COWARDLY NAKED PEOPLE also known as s.l.e.e.p.e.r.s yes I suck with acronyms BUT BACK TO THE F**KING TOPIC AT HAND, you'll meet these fellas around C1, big fast and ugly, this cuthullu LOOKING HEADA*S His main quirk is that it will target one of the 4 brothers in game and will as the name implies snatch you and drag you either to another room or into a horde depends really on how the gtfo gods are feeling. Running at top speed in all 4s this SUPER SIZED B*TCH WILL RAM THROUGH YOUR CFOAM BLOCKADE MAKING IT USELESS AGAINST THESE ODD FELLAS, You'll know a snatcher is nearby by listening to its rather maniacal gargles kinda like a jockey from l4d; now that I think about it IS just an uglier and bigger jockey but both are equally ANNOYING AS F*CK.
    Best way I dealt with these things is either with the machine-gun or the shotgun, 1 cuse it can stagger them thus slowing them down and marking them useless to fight back, and the shotgun I think it's self explanattory

Part 3: BRING IT OOOOOON!!!
This part is where we're gonna talk about the big bad W*ORES, the top of the food chain, THE MOTHERF**KING BOSSES!!!, all tho most of them share the same ways to deal direct damage to each one, their quirks are way different not to mention their behavior and F**KING SIZE.
  • The Mother: You did it!! you reached the hot single moms in your area but now you must be wondering why there's tiny versions of strikers running around in hordes, or why is there a fog covering the entire room blocking your vision significantly??? , well my friend that means a mother is close by.
    This C**T will come in two sizes Big and MEGA B*TCH, most of the time it will be asleep thus not being a threat directly but when woken up will deploy her fog screen and run at ludicrous speeds avoiding your sight at all costs; she doesn't really attack you directly but her main way of attack is giving birth to dummy ammounts of baby strikers (a rather tinier and weaker version of the striker sleeper dealing 2 points of hp damage per hit, might not sound like much but if they overwhelm you it will hurt) if you wanna take this Organic magic school bus you gotta shoot at the weird pink pustules on her back while also dodging her ospring and other sleepers approaching your area now that the not so hot single mom has been triggered. If you wanna take her down on stealth I suggest skipping her entirely since the ammount of hp she's got won't drop by meele hits SILENTLYthat is, but if you're going loud best course of action is some good ol explosives (Mines) or the old fashioned shotgun both being able to take down multiple of her babies in one blast while also dealing good damage to the weakspot, one other useful strat is having a battle brother body blocking her into a corner in order to avoid letting her run like flash across the room while the rest of your brothers focus on the kids and the postules.


  • The Tank THIS BIG F*KING C*CKSUCKER might be big, BUT WE ARE BIGGER, lound huge and as the name implies TANKY AS F*CK, this armored Mr I'm sorry I'm a leg day only man will chase you and your Borchers around the complex, sometimes as an environmental hazard normally sleeping like the FAT F*CK it is or as a boss for a specific rundown level (r4c1)

    Now you may ask how can i damage this walking PIECE OF OVERSIZED AFTER TACO BELL SH*T??, by shooting the tumors on its back of course, how else?? (this game has a huge love for pink pulsating tumor lookin weak spots) have us, by us we the badass monster wrestlers we are shoot an specific ammount of tumors the tank will fall, his behavior is mainly like mine when seeing big monster aka charging you head on with little to no care of the damage it takes, guns will stagger the thing and can also be cfoamed but it's more a waste of cfoam than anything, this HUGE F*KING WALKING AVOCADO will attack in 2 ways ranged aka tongue kiss FRENCH STYLE hitting anyone around or punch you with his flimsy trex like hands should've bench pressed more buddy.

    There's 2 main strats I recommend when dealing with a tank:
    1- by having one of your battle brothers being the main target of the tank while the rest focuses on shooting it's back tumors and dealing with the incoming horde if it's a horde alert
    2- taking the demoman route and say "what if I place some Mines in his path??" a rather waste of mine deployer ammo yet worth it if done correctly it can severely damage or outright kill the FAT 3 MOUTH F*CK, if a tank is woken up he's top priority on who to kill cuse this S. O. B is capable of ending a run as quick as my homie Jack in bed.

    Alongside the normal variants of tanks there's also a unique version seen in rundown 7 know as the Inmortal a somewhat stalker enemy that shares the appearance of a tank just lacking the pink tumors and cannot be killed by any normal means. This special PIECE OF OVERSIZED SLUG F*CK will chase you around certain parts of R7E1 all tho slow when somewhat close to players it will sprint as fast as my friend Raul when the funni border police showed up, it can be slown down by shooting and its easier to cfoam it compared to a regular tank yet is a waste of precious cfoam.


  • The KrakenTHE BIG ONE, THE ORGANIC AIRSHIP CARRIER, THE SQUIDWARD CHUTHULLU LOOKIN MOTHERF*CKER THE SIZE OF A CLIFF THIS IS THE ONE TRUE BOSS FIGHT WITH AN ELDRICH HORROR YOULL GET (for now) in gtfo.
    Like i mentioned before this C*CKSUCKER IS HUGE and requires its own battle arena down in rundow 6, it will attack with multiple sorts of attack mainly reused ranged attacks from shooter variants like homing spikes, each acting different and with specific methods of avoiding its barrages.
    The krakens attacks can be summarized with:
    Artillery Spikes: spikes with a mix of orange reddish these like the name says will work as artillery shot from the krakens head, best way to avoid it is taking cover in a section of the arena with a roof
    Red homing spikes: The kraken tends to shoot these from its body and they have the best tracking of all the other attack so find cover as soon as possible or you're gonna end up like a scout running to the intel on a teufort server.
    Mouth sides spikes: Normally a yellow colored spikes, so far the one type of spike that deals the least damage to you brother,mainly cuse these type of spikes will be hitting you most of the time cuse they're the main way the kraken defends its weak-spots that we are gonna touch on next.
    Floater Spawn:The main reason why i sometimes call THIS HUGE F*CK THE ORGANIC AIRSHIP CARRIER, cuse during the boss battle it will spawn floaters and that spawn rate will increase once the kraken has taken enough damage which canonically confirms he a B*TCH

    Now as for the weak-spots and how to damage the F*CKING THING:
    DONT THINK JUST SHOOT IF IT GLOWS PINK AND LOOKS LIKE A TUMOR F*CKING SHOOT IT, RAIN DOWN LEAD ON THE SQUIDWARD LOOKIN DARKEST DUNGEON REJECT, WE ARE THERE TO PROOVE A POINT AND THAT IS WE DONT CARE YOURE A MULTIDIMENSIONAL ELDRICH HORROR, WE CAN AND WILL BEAT THE F*CK OUT OF YOU WITH THE POWER OF FRIENDSHIP, BROTHERHOOD AND GUNS WE FOUND!!.

    All of this while some of you+ sentry guns(recommended) deal with the floater spawns, don't let them flying meat balls stop you and your battle brothers from achieving your goal.

Part 4: the final ring and conclusion
No matter the size, figure or strategy taking down these things is our main priority, we gotta show these TENTACLE SUCKING MOTHERF*CKERS HOW WE DO IT DOWN UNDER IN THE COMPLEX, Remind them that we are not trapped in here with them but rather the opposite, and we shall not leave any child left Un beaten, cuse that's what the warden has sent us to do and we shall deliver.

IT doesn't matter what weapons you use as long as you remain coordinated with your battle brothers down there and victory shall be ours
WRESTLING AINT FAKE AND WE ARE DOWN HERE TO PROOVE IT


I had hopes that whenever I'd finish this thing rundown 8 would've been a thing but not such lucks, bummer but it opens an opportunity to say that for whatever reason a dev is reading this PLEASE BROTHER, BY THE LOVE REAH RIPLEY'S THIGHS ADD A BRASS KNUCKLES TYPE MEELE FOR THE GAME I NEED TO BE ACTUALLY ABLE TO PUNCH THE DARN THINGS, I'll even offer yall a Flintstones vitamin gimmie if you do.

That aside I'd like to thank the 2 idiots that helped me mentally and physically so I can go through the pain of those F*KING REACTOR Missions and the new relaunched early rundowns
  • LALO
  • SirTomato
Thanks kings
This guide alongside the other one will be updated depending on any GOOFY *SS C*NTS added by 10 chmbrs in subsequent rundowns.

Keep bonking kids and make this wrestler proud!
4 Comments
Dead Zed 30 May @ 7:17am 
I'm now chaotically inspired...:auimp:
Darth Malice 4 Sep, 2023 @ 7:54am 
well written and enjoyed it alot.
boogieson 26 Aug, 2023 @ 10:30pm 
by god this is wonderfully written
☣BLUEGEAR☣  [author] 24 Jul, 2023 @ 11:14am 
This piece of SHAKESPEREAN WONDER WAS POSSIBLY MADE UNDER THE EFECTS OF WHISKEY AND A 10 HOUR LOOP OF NACHO LIBRES OST