Opening the game is an incredibly difficult process if you do not have experience doing so already. To open the game, you must first open steam, and then click on "library" at the top navigation bar. After this, there is a scrollable library on the left side of the application. There is also a search bar above the library. Click on the search bar and type "Virtual Cottage". Once the result comes up, click the game labelled "Virtual Cottage" and proceed to press the green "play" button. Once this is done, the game will open and your first step will be complete!

Playing the game is the hardest part. It is a culmination of all of the game's previous steps, as well as new variables to deal with, and it is the ultimate test of your endurance and mental resolve. To play the game, make sure it is unpaused, then proceed to leave the application OPEN and in the background.

To get all achievements, you must do the hardest thing of all, waiting. After waiting approximately 100 hours, all achievements will be unlocked, and you will have secured that victory!

Ok, I have been trolling this entire time. To actually get all achievements, you could either set the task timer to anything over 6000 minutes (approximately 100 hours) and proceed to wait, OR you could also set the task to anything over 6000 minutes, then go into your system settings, go into "date and time", then forward your time to about 3 days ahead of your current time. Then enjoy watching the achievements trickle in!