Crusader Kings II

Crusader Kings II

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How to be SIGMA
By Fuzzy
I'm going to teach you how to be sigma! Or at least how you can attempt to become one!
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CREATION! OR CHOOSING!
First you need to be an omega pagan ruler with little to no experience in G.O.D
GOLD -> WE OBTAIN IT! -----
OIL -> WE OWN IT! =============> WE ARE THE OWNERS OF IT ALL!
DRUGS -> WE TAKE THEM! -----
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THE OIL IS FOR OUR GOLDEN MUSCULAR BODIES AND SALADS WE CONSUME OVER THE CORPSES OF OUR DEAD ENEMIES!
GOLD WE SPEND ON ARMIES AND BUILDINGS, EVEN MONUMENTS TO OPPRESS THOSE WHO ARE DIFFERENT!
DRUGS! DRUGS! DRUGS! MUSHROOMS AND PEYOTE MAKE US IMMORTAL BEINGS! VISION QUESTS AND RIGHTS OF PASSAGE NEED THESE TO BE DONE PROPERLY!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------FIRST STATS!

Stewardship is not as needed as marshal and diplomacy! Marshal is the main stat you should go for the more you build that up the more you are able to tear open the chest of your enemies and consume their small mortal hearts! Diplomacy will make people want to be you, the more diplomacy you have the better as well. The other stats are for babies and cowards that hide in the shadows or in the shadow of their FALSE GODS! So pay no mind to intrigue. The only time you'll be needing anything that has to do with theology is when you have a god that demands sacrifice! Sacrifices in war can help you win almost impossible scenarios, such as crusades or jihads. Sacrifices will give you "Bonuses" or "Additional Stats" such as; Increasing Levies, Removing Diseases, Gaining Marshal, and Traits. Worshiping ancestors or performing a MASS SACRIFICE can help you achieve SIGMA status.
Always go Marshal and work with the gods who will give you insane abilities and traits.
Stewardship can help you pay for stuff... like levies, but I suggest using retinues. Keep building up retinues by building piety and prestige for bigger impacts in the world around. These stats can help you create empires.
FACTION AN IMMORTALITY!
WHICH PAGANS!?!
GERMANIC ALWAYS GERMANIC!
We will have Thor and Odin on our sides as we decimate the coasts of the Northern Sea and English Channel. As Germanic Pagan we can obtain mjolnir and other badass artifacts that will help us in our journey to being an immortal god amongst men. Mjolnir spawns randomly, usually in the possession of a sub-holding in any Norse rulers land really. It isn't needed to be a SIGMA but it does make you sound and look much cooler. To start off, you will need to join the warrior lodge, and kill as many people as possible in duels. While you're doing this, try to reform the pagan faith by going to these Locations on the map!

After you reform the religion you will become The Fylkirate, and receive a crown in your treasury, Also making you the pope of the Norse religion. Pay attention to the amount of people you have slain, if you do it enough you will start to gain traits such as; Haemophiliac, Haemophant, and Haemoarch which are good for boosting marshal and combat rating. Speaking of combat rating, thats why you joined the warriors lodge, that and to become a legend...
Now make sure your capable, not in prison and not inaccessible for this next bit of advice. Immortality is achievable in this insane game. Kill as many people as possible to achieve this. The older you get the more possible it will become, I say after age 35 if you are able to survive that long pay attention to Theology as much as you can. For you can actually battle a god and be sent back to earth. You will be a very dangerous character after this. No more sickness or death and you can live forever... thats a lie actually. The only way you will die is in battle or execution. After you have built your legend it is time for expansion, and baby making (with seduction) also never claim the child or legitimize them, SIGMA's have no time for family.
AFTER BECOMING A GOD!
EXPANSION AND OPPRESSION

After building enough buildings and upgrading as much as possible -Both armies and cities/temples-
It is time to test out how durable you really are! GO TO ROME AND SACRIFICE THE POPE TO ODIN! Pillage France and Take over the east, have endless rivalries and chase the high of needing no one but the hammer of Thor and the wolves of Muspelheim eating away all of the evidence of cities and civilizations behind you! Soon with enough killing and pillaging, use your ever fighting spirit to change the religions of the people you conquer/capture. Soon nothing will stand in your way. As your children die of old age, and you've slept with countless women. Eaten a million blots, and seen an endless amount of tomfoolery... The date will hit 1453, your time is finished and you have conquered the entire world in hours. Export the game, and import it to Europa Universalis 4 and then push your scary ass to AMERICA and keep oppressing and slaughtering those that oppose you. For not even the goddess Hel can grasp you without your permission.



NOW YOU ARE SIGMA NOT ONLY THAT BUT THE GOD OF SIGMAS
There really isn't much else to explain most of what I said to do is a dice roll for the most part, their is no for sure way of figuring this game out. Most of it is random and Most of it is BS Get a horse to be king or duel a polar bear... Play chess with the devil, give birth to the anti-christ, sleep with the queen of england! Have FUN!
5 Comments
Ender Pro Gamer 21 Dec, 2022 @ 2:06pm 
poggers
Tuskar 10 Jun, 2022 @ 4:24pm 
:Teuton:
Tuskar 10 Jun, 2022 @ 4:24pm 
Epic
Seamus McAndrews 4 Dec, 2021 @ 9:25am 
Facts!
Kane 2 Dec, 2021 @ 8:25am 
I support this