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Mass Effect™ Legendary Edition > Guides > Themadnessman's Guides
1,522 ratings
100% LEGIT ROMANCE GUIDE
By Themadnessman
THIS GUIDE WILL TELL YOU WHO'S HOT AND WHO'S NOT.
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Created by
Themadnessman
Online
Category: Characters, Gameplay Basics, Story or Lore
Languages: English
Posted
Updated
30 May, 2021 @ 1:55am
3 Jun, 2023 @ 9:51am
34,535 Unique Visitors
1,258 Current Favorites
Guide Index
Overview
INTRODUCTION 
NUMBER 1, ASHLEY. WILL. 
NUMBER 2. oKAY DAN. ALENKO 
PART 3 LIE-ARA ARA. T'SOWN ME. 
CHAPTER 4 GARRUS. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. VAKERIAN. 
jacob 
SEGMENT 6. THANE. CRY-US. 
CHAPTER 7: TALI. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. ZORAH. 
PART 8. JACKED. 
MOMENT 9: MIRANDA NO-LAWS 
PART 10, JUDGE SAMARA 
OH GOD NO DON'T 
BIT 12: C KELLY 
PORTION 13: SAM TRAY TRAY 
PART 14: STEEEEEEEEEVE! 
FIGHTER 15: Ja VIK 
FIGHTER 17: VEGA FROM STREET FIGHTER 2 
battle tits 
Comments
INTRODUCTION
AS AN EXPERT ON ROMANCE I'M HERE TO BE YOUR GUIDE IN THE FAR FUTURE. THIS GUIDE WILL TELL YOU WHO'S HOT AND WHO'S NOT. THERE WILL BE SPOILERS HERE I GUESS. ENJOY.

ALSO THIS IS PROBABLY NOT SO SERIOUS SO DON'T HATE ME MAN. IT'S ALSO NOT A TOP TEN LIST SO CHILL.
NUMBER 1, ASHLEY. WILL.

PROS

  • NICE HAIR
  • LESS RACIST THAN FIRST APPEARS

CONS

  • IF YOU HAVE A MYSTERIOUS DEATH SHE WILL LEAVE YOU
  • QUESTIONABLE CHOICE IN ARMOUR.

CAN BE ROMANCED BY: FELLAS
NUMBER 2. oKAY DAN. ALENKO

PROS

  • HAS A SUITABLY TRAGIC PAST
  • MALEWIFE MATERIAL
  • CAN AND WILL COOK FOR YOU, EVEN IF NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP, PRACTICAL SKILLS ARE HOT

CONS

  • HEADACHES AREN'T HOT
  • IF YOU HAVE A MYSTERIOUS DEATH HE WILL LEAVE YOU

CAN BE ROMANCED BY: LADIES AND LATER ON DUDES
PART 3 LIE-ARA ARA. T'SOWN ME.

PROS

  • BLUE
  • WILL NOT LEAVE YOU IF YOU DIE MYSTERIOUSLY
  • HOT ENOUGH TO PISS OFF FOX NEWS
  • HAS HEALTHY EMOTIONAL GROWTH
  • SAYS NO TO GENDER

CONS

  • PROBABLY KNOWS ABOUT SOME WEIRD STUFF YOU'VE DONE
  • MORE ATTRACTED TO ANCIENT ALIENS THAN YOU
  • WORRYINGLY INTO MIND FLAYING

CAN BE ROMANCED BY: ANYONE!
CHAPTER 4 GARRUS. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. VAKERIAN.

PROS

  • IT'S GARRUS. COME ON.
  • VOICE OF PURE SEX
  • OTHER GUYS WILL JUST FEED YOU LINES BUT HE CAN TAKE YOU TO MICKEY D'S
  • DECIDES TO STOP BEING A COP, CHOOSES BATMAN INSTEAD
  • TEACHES YOU TO DANCE THE DANCE

cons

  • HE MIGHT BE TOO GOOD FOR YOU
  • YOU WILL HAVE TO COMPETE WITH A QUARIAN AND A FRENCH PERSON FOR HIS LOVE
  • ADDICTED TO FILET OF FISH, WILL LIKELY STEAL YOURS

CAN BE ROMANCED BY: WOMEN OF CULTURE
jacob

pros

  • i guess him saying 'the priiiize' is funni

CONS

  • WILL LEAVE YOU EVEN IF YOU DON'T DIE A MYSTERIOUS DEATH
  • WILL AGGRESSIVELY FLIRT WITH YOU WHEN YOU DON'T WANT HIM TO
  • WILL SOMEHOW BEND REALITY TO MAKE YOU FLIRT BACK WITHOUT MEANING TO

CAN BE ROMANCED BY: IDIOTS
SEGMENT 6. THANE. CRY-US.

PROS

  • DILF
  • WAS MADE TO BE HOT
  • COOL ASSASSIN BOY GO BRRRR
  • BEAUTIFUL EYES
  • IF HE LICKS YOU OR SPITS ON YOU YOU'LL TRIP BALLS

CONS

  • CRIPPLING DISEASE
  • HIS SON IS A TROUBLED YOUTH
  • YOU MIGHT TRIP FATALLY

CAN BE ROMANCED BY: LADIES
CHAPTER 7: TALI. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. ZORAH.

PROS

  • IT'S TALI, COME ON
  • HIPS THAT COULD KILL A REAPER
  • EXCELLENT SINGER
  • FUNNY DRINKER
  • HAS THE GOOD SENSE TO WEAR THE BEST COLOUR, PURPLE

CONS

  • CONSTANTLY CARRYING SHARP KNIFE
  • WILL GIVE YOU BAD PHOTOS OF HERSELF

CAN BE ROMANCED BY: MEN OF CULTURE
PART 8. JACKED.

PROS

  • COULD PROBABLY CRUSH A WATERMELON WITH BIOTIC THIGHS
  • DOM
  • HAS A SPACE DOG
  • CAN FIGHT AND DO ROMANCE AT THE SAME TIME

CONS

  • POTTY MOUTH (POSSIBLE PRO)
  • MIGHT GET COLD WITH LACK OF CLOTHING
  • MAD BECAUSE SMALL

CAN BE ROMANCED BY: MAN
MOMENT 9: MIRANDA NO-LAWS

PROS

  • DISTRACTINGLY LARGE ASS
  • SURPRISINGLY WHOLESOME
  • IS ALL ABOUT FAMILY
  • FABULOUS ACCENT

CONS

  • HAS A CREEPY NOT-DAD
  • PRETTY AVERAGE, BUT I GUESS THAT'S NOT BAD, YOUR PREFERENCE, IT'S JUST NOT FOR ME, IF YOU ENJOY THAT THEN THIS IS A PRO PROBABLY

CAN BE ROMANCED BY: GUYS
PART 10, JUDGE SAMARA

PROS

  • IS THE LAW
  • MILF
  • MEDITATION GF

CONS

  • MARRIED TO JUSTICE
  • SAD ABOUT KIDS :(

CAN BE ROMANCED BY: PEOPLE WHO ENJOY BEING LET DOWN
OH GOD NO DON'T

PROS

  • DEATH BY SNU SNU

CONS

  • DEATH

CAN BE ROMANCED BY: NOBODY
BIT 12: C KELLY

PROS

  • HAS A HOT OUTFIT ON HAND FOR SOME REASON
  • WILL SAVE YOUR FISH FROM AN AGONISING DEATH
  • IS ABLE TO CHANGE APPEARANCE AT WILL

CONS

  • WON'T SHUT UP ABOUT MESSAGES YOU'VE ALREADY READ
  • MIGHT COMPARE YOUR COOL ALIEN FRIENDS TO ANIMALS
  • WILL BE TURNED INTO SOUP IF YOU'RE SLOW

CAN BE ROMANCED BY: ALL THE PEOPLE
PORTION 13: SAM TRAY TRAY

PROS

  • IS A BIG FAN OF CRASHING OTHER PEOPLE'S BATHING SESSIONS
  • CAN AND WILL KICK YOUR ASS QUEENS GAMBIT STYLE
  • A MUCH BETTER PERSONAL ASSISTANT, WILL NOT PESTER YOU
  • GOOD ORAL HYGIENE

CONS

  • IS DECEIVED EASILY BY CLONES
  • MORE ATTRACTED TO ROBOTS THAN YOU

CAN BE ROMANCED BY: GALS
PART 14: STEEEEEEEEEVE!

PROS

  • VERY WHOLESOME
  • CAN TAKE YOU TO COOL PLACES IN HIS SPACE CAR
  • WHAT IF WE HELD HANDS IN THE KODIAK JK JK... UNLESS???

CONS

  • VERY SAD, I FEEL BAD FOR HIM
  • CAN COME ON A BIT STRONG
  • INSUFFICIENT HAPPINESS WILL LEAD TO A TRAGIC DEMISE

CAN BE ROMANCED BY: GUYS
FIGHTER 15: Ja VIK

PROS

  • TSUNDERE
  • DANCES JUST AS BADLY AS YOU
  • LIKES TOUCHING PEOPLE

CONS

  • MORE ATTRACTED TO LIARA THAN YOU
  • REALLY MEAN (POSSIBLE PRO?)
  • ACTUALLY REALLY DEPRESSED
  • MIGHT TRY AND CONQUER THE GALAXY




CAN BE ROMANCED (KINDA) BY: WOMEN WHO LIKE MAKING POOR CHOICES
FIGHTER 17: VEGA FROM STREET FIGHTER 2

PROS

  • WOAH HE'S RIPPED
  • NICE TATOOS
  • WAS IN A MOVIE ONCE
  • IF YOU PRESS A BUTTON 183 TIMES HE WILL SWEAR LOYALTY TO YOU

CONS

  • THE MOVIE WAS MID-TIER
  • HE'S REALLY NOT THAT INTO YOU

CAN ALMOST BE ROMANCED BY: GALS WHO WON'T TAKE NO FOR AN ANSWER
battle tits

PROS

  • CREATED "We'll bang, ok?"

CONS

  • BORING AS HELL

CAN BE ROMANCED BY: GUYS AND GALS WHO REALLY AREN'T INTO PERSONALITIES
185 Comments
< >
Shekelesh 20 Apr @ 9:44am 
Death by snu snu got me lmao
Scout Gaming 18 Apr @ 3:14am 
This is the best guide ever
Irenicus 20 Feb @ 4:47pm 
This is fantastic well done
ꜘ .iLiv3Yx 7 Nov, 2023 @ 7:27pm 
fav. :elrath:
Themadnessman  [author] 7 Nov, 2023 @ 7:22pm 
NITE, IT ALREADY EXISTS, CHECK MY PROFILE! AND FOR YOU, NEW PERSON, IT'S BECAUSE THIS IS HIGH LITERATURE
ꜘ .iLiv3Yx 7 Nov, 2023 @ 5:47pm 
ehmm ... why i am even reading this :bryhild:
(L)atr 7 Nov, 2023 @ 3:42pm 
When 300% BG3 Romance Guide? :3
Nebula Sol 10 Oct, 2023 @ 3:26pm 
:Tali:
Van 26 Sep, 2023 @ 3:14am 
"Vega from Street Fighter 2" had me fucking rolling on the floor. Well done, *slow respectful clap*, well done...
LickerOfFemaleFeet 9 Aug, 2023 @ 1:39pm 
I’m a man of culture up to this guide, fantastic! :Tali: