Dark Souls: Prepare to Swag Edition is a very complex game aimed for children under the age of 5. It featuresrape sentinels, silver ♥♥♥♥♥, gangbanging Undead soldiers, Giant Boobs, and chest molesters. Also keep in mind that this game is 100% fair at all times, and there is a solution for everything besides sliding down a ladder and falling through the world. I also recommend getting DSFix if you're going to play offline. You can uncap the FPS limit, but you should keep the rate to 30, so you don't fall through the world when you slide down ladders.
**Remember: If you learn something make sure to rate up and favorite so you can find this guide again later!**

To get to the location you must do these things in any order:

• Kill the Hydra in Darkroot Basin
  
• Place the Lord Vessel

Now, you must do this in this specific order!
1. Rescue Dusk of Oolacile from the Golden Crystal Golem
2. Talk to Dusk of Oolacile
3. Summon Dusk of Oolacile near a rock
4. Go to the Duke's Archives (doesn't matter when)
5. Kill the first Crystal Golem in the Duke's Archives that you can see
6. Go back to where you first found the Golden Crystal Golem, and this should be there
Sanctuary Guardian
Shield up, Hit it in the butt!
(Hint: Bleed damage and fast hitting ranged attacks light Lightning Spears are good ways to kill the boss. If using quickly cast ranged miracles, make sure that the boss is a good distance away so it doesn't R1 Spam, stunlock you, and kill you.)

Artorias the Abysswalker

1. You can 2h your weapon if its a greatsword or ultra greatsword and sort of stunlock him with some heavy armor w/ Havel's ring and wolf ring/cloranthy ring. I usually have on Havel's Armor, Zweihander, Grass Crest, Havel's Ring, and the Wolf Ring. If you have a spear, you can hide behind your shield, or 2H R1 spam
2. If he backs away and tries to gather humanity to buff, hold with both hands and r1 spam or
use a heavy weapon
(Hint: Bleed damage)
Manus, Father of the Abyss
When it's done R1 spamming, 2h your weapon and give it 1-2 hits, then put your greatshield back up (or a medium shield with good stability, atleast 71) Repeat that process
(Hint: Bleed damage)
Black Dragon Kalameet
Step 1. Ask Gough to shoot it out of the sky
Step 2. Black Knight Shield +5
Step 3. Spear (MAX LEVEL)
Step 4. When It's done R1 spamming, give it a few good jabs, (but don't stay close for too long, because it may use it's "grab-attack", and use the force to fly you up to his eye and rape you)

(No order, use CTRL+F to quickly find the boss you need, list in progress)
Regular Boss Strategies
Asylum Demon Strategy
Step 1. Run past it when you first get into the room to the left doorway.
Step 2. Go onto the balcony above it, Plunge Attack, and finish it off with your new weapons
(Optional) Use black firebombs as starting gift and slay it when you first encounter it for LOOT
(Optional) Use the wimpy broken straight sword to slay it when you first encounter it for LOOT(most time consuming)
Taurus Demon Strategy
Step 1. Dive Attack from ladder ontop of the tower
Step 2. Repeat Step 1
Moonlight Butterfly Strategy
Step 1. Summon Witch Beatrice
Step 2. Let her do all the work
Step 3. If the Butterfly lands, bash its ♥♥♥♥ ead in, cuz u swore on ye mum
Capra Demon Strategy
Step 1. Run like a teenage girl up the stairs behind the Capra Demon, zero ♥♥♥♥♥ given.
Step 2. Kill the dogs
Step 3. Hide from the Capra Demon in the corner as far back as you can
Step 4. WHEN he falls off the ledge, plunge attack
Step 5. Get back to the fetal position on the corner of the ledge and wait until he falls
Step 6. Repeat steps 3-5
Gaping Dragon Strategy
Step 1. Summon Solaire and Lautrec if you haven't already killed him (♥♥♥♥ Lautrec man)
Step 2. Avoid all of its attacks until it runs into a wall like a stupid ♥♥♥♥♥
Step 3. Repeat Step 2
Chaos Witch Quelaag Strategy
Step 1. Summon Man-Eater Mildred
Step 2. Watch her die
Step 3. Keep calm
Step 4. Avoid all Lava Attacks
Step 5. Attack THE BUTT
Step 6. If Quelaag uses her Fury Sword, block + dodge roll away into safety
Step 7. Attack the butt, but if she uses her Area of Effect attack, dodge roll to negate the effects
Dragonslayer Ornstein and Executioner Smough Strategy
If you kill Smough first:
For Ornstein OPMODE use the GIANT CASTRATION POSITION aka GCP, and don't EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER EVER leave GCP unless he butt slams.
If you kill Ornstein first:
For Smough OPMODE make sure you have a good shield (if you don't have good stability and a nice amount of estus flasks, you're ♥♥♥♥♥♥), and a good spear (atleast 140 damage)
Step 1. If he ever butt slams or if you're suspicious, back up and have your shield up
Step 2. When he's done butt slamming or attacking, run up to him and hit him once with your spear and back away.
Step 3. Let the phantoms do some damage
Step 4. If you have any miracles or ranged attacks while you're out of his attack range or if he's not aggro'd at you, now is the time to use them.
Step 5. Repeat the process until killed. Make sure to thank the human phantom.
Ceaseless Discharge Strategy
Do what it says in this video and you'll laugh as it falls to its death. *middle finger*
Demon Firesage Strategy
Hint: Ninja Flips are useful
Step 1. Get behind its butt
Step 2. Attack the Butt
Step 3. Ninja flip away from the magic
Step 4. Ninja flip forward and repeat steps 2-5
Stray Demon Strategy
Step 1. Get behind the butt
Step 2. Attack the butt
Step 3. If it tries anything suspicious back off
Step 4. Come back to the butt and Attack the butt
Step 5. Repeat Steps 1-4
Centipede Demon Strategy
Step 1. Stay near the fog door that you entered in, if you go into the lava, you're ♥♥♥♥ ded kid
Step 2. When he goes onto your island, rape his ass for invading your private island
Step 3. Shield up
Step 4. If he launches himself into the air like some Japanese Bomber back away or around the direction his attack was pointing, with shield up
Step 5. Repeat until dead. If you cut off the tail chuck ass out of there, equip the ring, and then come back and move to a bigger island
Iron Golem Strategy
GCP is your friend.
Dark Sun Gwyndolin Strategy
Step 1. If he uses any magic dodge roll to a pillar on either side
Step 2. Run towards him as long as he isn't casting magic
Step 3. When you're one pillar away from him, attack him
Step 4. When he teleports run immediately towards him and watch out for magic
Step 5. Repeat the process, when he's dead go into the back room and get your loot!
Crossbreed Priscilla Strategy
Step 1. CUT OFF HER TAIL
Step 2. Look at the snow and pinpoint her position via her foot tracks
Step 3. Aim your shield in that Direction
Step 4. Wait until she attacks x2 times
Step 5. Give her a taste
Step 6. Shield up
Pinwheel Strategy
Pinwheel sucks ass, just run up to him and attack and he's dead. If you suck at this game summon Paladin Leeroy.
Great Grey Wolf Sif Strategy
Enter GCP and also stay under his belly, attack his feet/stomach
Bell Gargoyles Strategy
Step 1. Summon Solaire of Astora for some jolly co-operation.
Step 2. Fun times
Step 3. ?
Step 4. Profit
(Block and let Solaire do most of the work, get some good jabs in too)

LORD SOUL BOSSES
The Four Kings Strategy
Hint: I recommend that you don't summon Witch Beatrice for this boss fight, she sucks, this is the easiest Lord Boss Fight in my opinion.
Step 1. Make sure you have the Covenant of Artorias, and equip it.
Step 2. Make sure you have a high dmg. weapon and kill each of the four kings quickly
Step 3. ?
Step 4. Profit
Here is a video for people having difficulty on NG+
Note: Iron Flesh backfired because he couldn't move well to the next King, so don't use it
Gravelord Nito Strategy
Step 1. Divine weapon
Step 2. Stay where you dropped down from
Step 3. Kill the little runts that run toward you first with your divine weapon
Step 4. Learn his attack patterns while you have your shield up, and avoid his grabs. If he grabs you, R1+L1 Spam, same for all grab attacks
Step 5. Attack him up close from behind when possible, and make sure to avoid all attacks.
Seath the Scaleless Strategy
Hint: Darkwood Grain Ring is great to use
Step 1. Cursebite Ring, if he uses his curse attack, just run away from him
Step 2. Lightweight shield (Grass Crest Shield recommended)
Step 3. Run run run run run run run run run run run into the back behind Seath and break his little crystal power generator
Step 4. Run into the center then quickly ninja flip (or fast roll) into the back and cut off his tail, may take a few tries
Step 5. If he starts to lift his tail quickly back off by ninja flipping backwards and wait until he's done. When he's thrashing his tail, now is a good time to pop an Estus. Make sure you have atleast 7-10 just incase.
Step 6. Repeat step 4-5 until you cut off his tail
Step 7. Now that you have cut off his tail *(huzzah)* just run into the middle and trigger his attack, then run to his tentacle tails, and hit them while you're dashing, then ninja flip forward and repeat running toward his tentacle tails and hitting them while dashing, it does a lot of damage.
The Bed of Chaos Strategy
Step 1. Ninja Flips
Step 2. Run to the left
Step 3. Ninja flip through the branches into the giant yellow orb and attack the generic thing powering the Bed of Chaos
Step 4. If you die from his ridiculous attacks don't worry, the left power source will be gone now.
Step 5. Run to the right
Step 6. Repeat Step 3
Step 7. Run into the middle and jump onto the tree
Step 8. Repeat Step 3
FINAL BOSS GWYN, LORD OF CINDER STRATEGY
Step 1. Get Havel's Armor, and be able to atleast fat roll instead of terminator walking.
Step 2. Get your favorite spear upgraded
(Optional) Flame Ring + Havel's Ring helps
Step 3. Get your favorite shield
(I used Greatshield of Artorias, it has highest Stability, highly recommended or else you're pretty much screwed)
**Edit** Havel's shield has better all around resistance and the stability change from the Greatshield of Artorias is barely noticeable against most bosses. It also has a nice defensive buff for the left handed strong attack
Step 4. Run/Block your way past Gwyn without dying, and then circle around one of the rock pillars in the middle where Lord Gwyn starts out, and whenever he gets stuck in the pillar, Estus if needed, or use Green Blossom or whatever you need to use. WARNING: DO NOT ESTUS DURING THE FIGHT OR WHEN HE'S NOT STUCK BEHIND A PILLAR, HE WILL THRUST HIS SWORD AND ♥♥♥♥ YOUR ♥♥♥♥ UP.
Step 5. Repeat Step 4
Hint: Don't fight Lord Gwyn with Low Stamina. You also need high poise which is what Havel's Armor gives you. If you don't have high poise and he hits you, you'll stagger and not be able to move because he's ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ your ♥♥♥♥ up with his OP sword.
Contribution from Lord's Blade Caius: Try parrying Lord Gwyn with a fire weapon.
Note: You can try parrying Lord Gwyn, but for most players (like me), it had to be very precise and most people couldn't pull it off. Some people
Contribution from Boomcome: Use Great Combustion x8 on fully upgraded pyro glove.

Mini-Bosses' Strategies
Hellkite Wyvern Strategy
Step 1. Don't panic.
Step 2. Run down the bridge
Step 3. Turn Right down into the staircase and hide for a few seconds until he stops spitting flames
Step 4. Run out like a madman to the other side of the bridge perpendicular almost from the staircase and hug the top-left corner of the hiding spot.
Step 5. Wait 20 seconds
Step 6. When the dragon jumps down dual-wield your sword (magic users NG+ OP, NG = ♥♥♥♥♥♥) and R1 spam until the dragon can kiss his scaly ass goodbye
Undead Dragon in Valley of Drakes Strategy
Hint: PYROMANCY
Step 1. Upgrade your Pyromancer's flame
Step 2. Join Chaos Covenant to get Great Chaos Fireball
Step 3. Get Great Fireball from the Pyromancer at Firelink Shrine if you saved him.
Step 4. Say hello to the Undead Dragon
Step 5. Run like hell up the little hill he's facing and get close enough to him on the little hill/ledge until you can lock onto him
Step 6. Position yourself to where you can cast the Fireballs without falling off
Step 7. Cast the fireballs until he's dead.
Undead Dragon Top Half in Painted World[/u][/u]
Step 1. Run towards it to attract it to the beginning of the bridge
Step 2. Two-hand a sword or spam magic
Step 3. Approach the left claw and stand a few meters in front of it, far enough to where it doesn't use the claw attack, and only spits poison. If you stand at the right distance, each time it spits poison you can hit its head and get some hit-points in.

Locations

• 1. The first firekeeper soul should be in the Undead Parish, next to Sen's Fortress, near the Tower Giant in the big church with the Channeler and cluster♥♥♥♥ of Balder Knights.
  
• 2. New Londo past the bridge near the first ghosts
  
• 3. Blighttown near some fire rape dogs
  
• 4. Duke's Archives behind the Octopus Ladies in the Giant Cell
  
• 5. Anor Londo Firekeeper (Hint: No repercussions or consequences by killing her)
  
• 6. Quelaag's Sister is a firekeeper, the white spider woman. Spoiler:You can join her covenant and save Solaire if you get the covenant +2. See video at the bottom.
  
• 7. When you first visit Lautrec in the church in Undead Parish, open the cell and leave him be. Eventually he'll kill the firekeeper in firelink shrine and you have to find his world in Anor Londo past the door the rape sentinels are guarding, that holds the Ultra Giantdads with giant halberds. You should NOT restore her soul, and instead hold onto it for the next playthrough.
  Hint 1: DO NOT KILL THE LAST FIREKEEPER UNTIL YOU HAVE +6 ESTUS FLASK (doesn't matter which order, I usually kill Quelaag's Sister last)
  Hint 2: If you kill Lautrec before he takes the firekeeper soul in Firelink Shrine, wait until the next playthrough and get the firekeeper soul either in New Londo, or in the Undead Parish.

Location of all Firekeeper souls Video
Saving Knight Solaire

BIGGEST PIECE OF INFORMATION IN DARK SOULS EVER:
EXPLORE ALL AREAS FULLY FOR THE BEST LOOT AND TO MAKE SURE YOU HAVEN'T MISSED LOOT. HIDDEN. WALLS.[darksouls.wikia.com]
Giantdad Set:
1. The Zweihander can be found in the graveyard near Firelink Shrine
2. Grasscrest Shield can be found in Darkroot Basin near the Black Knight
3. Mask of the Father can be farmed off of Pinwheel and the regular Pinwheel enemies before you fight Gravelord Nito. It can also be purchased from Patches after you defeat Gravelord Nito.
4. Giant Leggings + Gauntlet + Armor can be purchased from the Giant Black Smith in Anor Londo
Black Knight Set
Farming Location:
The only black knights that matter are at the end of the game behind the Lordvessel door before you fight Gwyn.
Strategy:
Equip the Covetous Golden Serpent Ring, and keep killing them until you get the weapons you want, and the Armor Set is to the right on the bridge when you fight the first few black knights. Beware the Black Knight behind you when you get the loot if you don't kill him on the bridge.
Silver Knight Set
Farming Location:
The Silver Knights can be find to the right of the rape sentinels guarding the giant door leading to the Ultra GiantDads wielding halberds, and are past some bridges, Lightning prodders, and bridges that are highly useful for some of the first two Silver Knights to send you into the abyss with their Dragonslayer Greatbows. After dying inevitably the first couple of tries, fight the Silver Knight on the right by either parrying him, magic, pyromancy, etc. to knock him off of the ledge and then go into the hall then turn left at the first door into the room with the Bonfire that also has Solaire. Solaire can also be summoned during the Ornstein and Smough battle. Praise the sun.
tl;dr Anor Londo before Ornstein and Smough boss battle
Strategy:
Now you can fight the Silver Knights (make sure you have covetous golden serpent ring) and loot their corpses of their weapons (You'll probably have to farm by homeward boning after you kill all the silver knights in the area) and the armor set is in one of the rooms once you go up the spiral staircase. Refer to the BIGGEST PIECE OF INFORMATION IN DARK SOULS EVER section for a more detailed explanation on how to get the armor.

(WIP)

• If someone bows, then it is probably going to be a honorable fight, which would be like a duel. They might be trying to communicate to you to not heal or not use anything OP.
  
• Don't backstab spam (which means you backstab then until they die), because then you'll be a ♥♥♥. If you backstab once and they die, they shouldn't be invading because they have too low of a vitality to PvP without getting 1-shotted in the first place.
  
• If someone breaks the honor code, do whatever you want.
  
• If someone is in a build with light armor and clothing, they're probably Dex ♥♥♥♥ and have high damage output and low poise, (unless they have the Wolf Ring.) They are also known to be Backstab spammers (against the honor code), so TWoP is a good counter-measure if they're chain backstabbing.
  
• If you see someone in a Giantdad cosplay, they're probably going to try anything to win, and will win because THE LEGEND NEVER DIES.

Note:
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO ABIDE BY THESE RULES BY ANY MEANS OR CIRCUMSTANCES, THIS IS JUST IF YOU ARE AN HONORABLE PERSON AND MIGHT WANT TO HAVE A FAIR FIGHT. IF YOU ARE INVADED, YOU ARE WELCOME TO USE ANY WEAPON, OR MAGIC THAT YOU WANT. IT IS YOUR CHOICE TO USE THE COMMUNITIES' HONOR CODE.

OP WEAPANZ

• Uchigatana
  
• Claymore
  
• Demon Great Machete
  
• Drake Sword
  
• Moonlight Greatsword
  
• Gold Tracer
  
• All Sorceries
  
• Wrath of the Gods
  
• Demon's Greataxe AKA Backstab Fishing ALERT

**If you know some OP weapons that you hate and love, please comment them down below.**

My PVP Build

for those of you who wanted to know
My Stats
Play Time: 228 hours (stats updated 5/1/14)
Level 302
----------
Vitality 81
Attunement 24
Endurance 81
Strength 50
Dexterity 48
Resistance 12
Intelligence 51
Faith 36
-----------
Weapons
Grass Crest Shield +15
Moonlight Greatsword +5
My Armor
Elite Knight Set +10
Rings
Hornet Ring
Ring of Favor and Protection

THESE GLITCHES ARE FOR INFORMATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY
Chameleon Glitch
To cosplay as a demonic statue with fire surge, use chameleon then while moving use pyromancy flame with fire surge equipped.
Boss-Soul Duplication Glitch
Warning: This glitch may ruin your experience because in most people's opinion, this will ruin the fun of Dark Souls, this glitch is listed for primarily informational use, so please don't get angry.
Note: Also works with Firekeeper souls for humanity
Method 1 (Easiest)
Step 1. Equip the Boss soul or Firekeeper soul you want to use (you won't lose it for either method)
Step 2. Put it in your hotbar
Step 3. Parry, Press the Use button mid-parry, press the START button immediately after you press the USE button
Step 4. Go over to your "Browse and use items" section
Step 5. Press the A button on the Orange Guidance Soap Stone
Step 6. Press use the orange guidance soap stone
Step 7. If done correctly, it will say "Use Soul of ____" after you use the Orange Guidance Soap Stone
Method 2
Step 1. Equip the Boss soul or Firekeeper soul you want to use (you won't lose it for either method)
Step 2. Put it in your hotbar
Step 3. Roll, Press the Use button mid-roll, press the START button immediately after you press the USE button
Step 4. Go over to your "Browse and use items" section
Step 5. Press the A button on the Orange Guidance Soap Stone
Step 6. Press use the orange guidance soap stone
Step 7. If done correctly, it will say "Use Soul of ____" after you use the Orange Guidance Soap Stone
PvP Glitches[/i]

This guide will be updated periodically with good information, and if you have any questions, leave a comment below.
If you would like to contribute to this guide, also leave a comment below.

Guide Icon Custom Image HD[imgur.com]