Toxic behaviour is detrimental to any online experience.

You certainly have been in situations where a toxic player soured your gameplay experience and left you disappointed, discouraged or even emotionally afflicted.

I will share with you certain methods that are proven to be effective when dealing with toxic players! I will also share with you things that you should completely avoid when dealing with a toxic player.

When dealing with a toxic player, it is best to adopt a friendly and respectful manner. People are much more likely to cooperate with someone they deem friendly and pleasant!
You must also understand that a toxic player isn't necessarily a bad person. We ourselves have probably already been toxic on certain occasions.


*Note that I do not guarantee the success of the methods listed below, nor can I affirm that the list is exhaustive.

Dealing with a toxic player is very circumstantial, since it depends on their motives, their personality and their current behaviour.

There is no simple solution, but here are some good techniques that will help you calm down a toxic player:

• DISCUSS THE MOTIVE BEHIND THEIR MISCONDUCT
  
  Simply ask a toxic player," Hey, what's the matter? Why are you mad at/insulting X player?"
  They will justify their conduct with an excuse such as, "you (or they) made our team lose", or whichever other.
  
  But, hehe... here's the catch... :
  
  there is NO EXCUSE that justifies bad behaviour. Absolutely zero. NONE
  
  Why? Because it's a video game. And I can understand that sometimes we get mad. I sometimes get mad too, but I NEVER take it out on my fellow players.
  Once they have told you their reason, you can then communicate to them that it's not that big of a deal, and that they are overreacting the situation.
  
  This leads to the next method,
  
  
  
  
• REMIND THEM THAT IT'S A GAME
  
  Tell them that games should not be taken so seriously.
  They are meant to be enjoyable and fun.
  Remind them also that, while winning is indeed enjoyable, losing is an inevitable part of video games, and that it would be completely ridiculous to expect to always win.
  
  
  
  
• TELL THEM THAT BEING ONLINE DOES NOT ALLOW THEM TO ACT HOWEVER THEY WANT
  
  Many toxic players act in ways that they wouldn't in real life situations.
  Let them understand that being anonymous on the Internet does not justify their misconduct.
  They are still interacting with other human beings and decency remains a requirement.
  
  
  
  
• BE FRIENDLY AND KIND
  
  This method is surprisingly effective!
  
  Let's say someone starts getting angry and tells you," you're a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥♥."
  
  You reply," why are you such a meanie to me? :( "
  
  Your reaction is the complete stellar opposite of what he was expecting. This will leave him completely disarmed, and might induce a moment of retrospection within himself where he will realise," Okay, I was kind of rude, I feel bad."
  
  You might not see the effects of this method afterwards, but I assure that you he will be affected.
  
  However, there are some personality types on which this method will not work. You can tell the plan failed if he answers something like ," Shut the ♥♥♥♥ up u ♥♥♥♥♥♥". Some human beings enjoy preying on the weak. If they sense any weakness, they will not refuse the opportunity to sink their claws in deeper.
  
  
  
  
• IGNORE THEM
  
  Some toxic players act the way they do to provoke strong reactions from others. This is very gratifying for them.
  
  If you purposely ignore their conduct or their words, you will deny them a response and, therefore, any pleasure that might be derived.
  
  They might attempt to elicit a response by increasing the intensity of their actions towards you, but you must remain unresponsive.
  
  They will get bored and eventually stop, or leave. Simple as that.
  
  
  
  
• LEAVE
  
  You don't have to deal with anyone you judge to be unpleasant. Sometimes, leaving a toxic situation is the best way to retain your sanity.
  
  However, this method is somewhat of a double-edged sword.
  
  If a toxic player believes that you left because their actions managed to trigger you to such a point, they will feel satisfaction and will be empowered to continue this behaviour in future games with other strangers. NOT POG.
  
  But, if a toxic player believes that you left because you don't want to deal with their ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, they will get discouraged, especially if people often leave on him. VERY POG.
  
  For those reasons, leaving is best used in conjunction with the previous method!
  
  
  
  
• MESS AROUND WITH THEM
  
  I find it very enjoyable to mess around with toxic players. It is my favourite way to deal with them! But, it is hard to do correctly.
  
  Messing with toxic players must be done in a manner that shows them that you find their behaviour very amusing, and that it brings you more pleasure than it does to them.
  
  It is generally done by intentionally fuelling their toxic behaviour in subtle ways. The goal here is to make a fool out of them.
  
  Once it becomes apparent that you are mocking their bad behaviour, they will feel ridiculed once they realise that you have been infantilizing them this whole time (treating them like children), and that you are not bothered in the slightest by their bad behaviour.
  
  This method might be hard to understand, so here is an EXAMPLE:
  
  1. I was in a pub match when I said as a joke," you gotta respect wamen." (I believe that to be true, but it was a joke in the context). Some dude took me seriously, saw an opportunity to attack and said on his mic something like," Oh ♥♥♥♥ bro you're one of those annoying internet social justice warriors aren't you? Oh man I bet you're a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ Redditor. I answered things like," yah dude, my favourite subreddit is r/frogs because I like looking at pictures of frogs." He still kept taking me seriously, and answered," you're so cringe." I kept dragging him along until he saw that I was really just taking him lightly, and he left.
  
  
  
  
• IF ALL ELSE FAILS
  
  Some people simply cannot be reasoned with. If you do not wish to leave the game, but they only answer," shut the ♥♥♥♥ up you tipsy ♥♥♥♥♥," to everything you tell them, then do not waste your energy by trying any further.
  
  Do not give them any additional attention. From this point on, they must be ignored.
  
  If you have tried your best to convince them, and they refuse to listen, the BEST thing to do afterwards would be to votekick them from the game, although you probably won't manage to votekick them so easily if you are in a random public match.
  
  The next best thing to do then is to not cooperate with them inside the game. If they are downed and you're the only other person, leave them there. If they are grabbed by a smoker, just walk past. If they wants pills, keep them to yourself.
  
  WARNING:
  Do not intentionally shoot/grief them. You want to ignore them more than anything.
  
  
  You must also keep supporting your teammates. This means that if one of your teammates is reviving the toxic player, you must cover him while he does so. And if a teammate asks you if you can share your pills/medkit with the toxic player, or if you can go revive them, do as they ask.
  
  It's harsh and hypocritical, but you have to let a toxic player understand that refusing to change their toxic behaviour is NOT AN OPTION, and that they do not have a place in the Left 4 Dead 2 community if they continue with their misconduct. You must be willing to give them a chance to change, but you must be merciless if they refuse.
  
  Do not forget that toxic players actively make the game experience worse for everyone, and their absence would benefit the entire community.

When dealing with a toxic player, there are certain things that must be AVOIDED in order to successfully deal with them. You must also use your judgement to decide when to intervene and when to let things be.

• DO NOT INSULT OR AGGRAVATE THEM IN RETURN.
  
  Do not stoop down to their level. You must remain calm and respectful at all times. Of course, I understand it can be hard.
  
  Why must I control myself when I am getting insulted and disrespected in such a horrible manner?
  
  Because you must be a good example to follow.
  Because you want to maintain a moral high ground.
  Because you are more convincing when calm.
  But the most important reason is
  Because you want to avoid fuelling their toxic behaviour.
  
  The moment you start insulting them in return, they will see you as an enemy and will refuse to show any empathy or listen to your arguments, no matter how logical they might be.
  
  However, this does not mean that you should be submissive and take their insults lying down! It just means that you must respond as if you were disciplining a child: polite, calm, yet assertive and resolute.
  
  
  
  
• DO NOT LOOK DOWN ON THEM
  
  "You worthless vermin. You are scum. Look how you treat your fellow comrades. Shame on you. SHAAAME."
  
  This is similar to the preceding point.
  You must not think that you are better than them or that they are mentally inferior for acting the way they do.
  
  You must offer an empathic and compassionate point of view. If they feel understood, they will be more open to changing their behaviour.
  
  
  
  
• DO NOT START A HUGE CONFLICT OVER SOMETHING SMALL.
  
  It's not worth intervening over every small thing.
  If you see someone type in the chat," u suck," to someone else,
  do NOT start screaming," TOOXIIIIICCCCC, YOU'RE TOOXIIICCC!!!! KIICKK! KICK NOW!!"
  
  If you intervene in a situation like this, you might give off the impression of being a stuck-up goody two-shoes that is anal about every single interaction. This might create more harm than good.
  
  Small misconducts aren't worth bothering over. Sometimes, they can be slip-ups or impulsive actions.
  
  However, if you still feel like intervening, then type something of an appropriate magnitude, such as," nah, his play is just too big brain for us casuals to understand."
  
  You have then defended the victim and simultaneously defused the possible start of a toxic confrontation.
  
  That is a very epic gamer moment

Remember that you must be an example of good behaviour, which means treating toxic players with respect even if they are insulting you in return.

And if you ever feel like these methods are completely useless and do not affect toxic players, let me assure you that it's quite the opposite! Just because you do not see results does not mean that there aren't any!

For some, the methods you employ will impact their subconscious more than anything. They will unconsciously change their behaviour with time if these techniques keep being used against him.


If you enjoyed this guide, and wish to learn more about toxicity or to be a part of L4D2 Community Safe Room, you are more than welcome to join the group!

If you have any questions or inquiries, do not hesitate to leave a comment or to send me a message. Thank you!