Battle Brothers

Battle Brothers

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How To Find Solace
By ✟DEUS✟ Quercus
It is true that traversing treacherous terrain, with every sentient creature wishing to mount your skull on a mantle piece takes a psychological toll upon your being, and it is with this knowledge that the guide will depict how you, as a bloodthirsty mercenary will be able to find respite and solace in these warring times. Whenever you feel overwhelmed, on the brink of exhaustion, simply follow the instructions of this exquisite guide, as it is foretold that this tome of knowledge is infused with the wisdom of the God's themselves.
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The Origin
I feel your resentment at the world today, wherever you travel you encounter a constant influx of needy townsmen, attempting to convince you in enlisting for a contract, and every day another adversity faces your doorstep. It is justified to be weary, for the swaths of Orc's, Brigands and Direwolves can simultaneously enact both a physical and psychological toll on anyone, regardless of their mental resilience and fortitude. After witnessing so many of your brothers collapse and fall in battle, it is completely reasonable to require a period of solace, a time of rest to recover and cope with the grief. Fortunately thanks to Wilhelm Wundt and his invention of psychology, a period of solitude has been developed to help accommodate for the stress of losing your beloved companions. This guide as such will inform you of coping mechanisms of dealing with the games merciless RNG and the untimely departures of your companions.

Recruit a relatively amiable Dwarf to retell stories
A conventional method to help rehabilitate against the adversaries you have faced after undergoing contracts is to recruit a amiable Dwarf to sing and revel tall tales on his adventures. One such dwarf is Thorin Oakenshield, a Dwarven king who seemingly recalls his heroic tales without being prompted. To recruit and hire an individual of a similar skill set, one can only be blessed. Not only is Thorin an exceptional fighter, but he commands authority, exhibiting a charisma which only divine beings can replicate. When seeking solace, it is best to recruit a Dwarf of Thorin's stature, as his intricate stories of his homeland in the Misty Mountains will entrance you, causing you to expel the memories of the Orcish horrors you faced a lifetime ago.


Recruiting An Elven Minstrel
Another coping mechanism is to recruit an Elven Minstrel to revel and sing of glorious tales from the ancient times before man's very existence. Tall tale has it that after listening to the succinct voice of an Elf you will begin to reminiscence of a purer time, one filled with sunshine, the sweet aroma of a rural environment and the taste of apple pie upon the taste buds. It is with this reason alone that listening to the angelic voice of an Elven minstrel is recommended when seeking solace for the psychological horrors you have likely experienced.

Reside In The Mountains
The mountains are a known place for being a desolate and remote environment, set apart from mainstream civilisation. As a result they are the ultimate location to reside at when seeking solitude, for not even the most dastardly of felons reside there. While in the mountains remember that only the wind will be able to hear you, so as a result you are allowed to vent your frustrations and practice for an upcoming crisis, such as a Noble war or Orcish invasion.


Slay Orcs
Orc's plague our lands, they pillage, they loot, and ultimately they spread deceit throughout our, corrupting our very way of life. If you are ever feeling bitter of resentful simply slay Orc's, for scientific data depicts that slaying orc's can be rather therapeutic. These bitter, vile creatures seek nothing but warfare and bloodshed, preferring to slaughter innocents than work an honest lifestyle. As a result remember that regardless of your past felonies you are doing an honourable deed by slaying and smiting these foul abominations.

Avoid Contracts
It is a known principle that every individual requires a period of serenity, a time of solace, if they are to fully recuperate from their life as a machine of war. The same goes for mercenaries. If you are ever requiring solace avoid contracts like the plague, as they are a surefire way of burning you out, and causing you to become obsessed with your occupation.

Harassing Militias
Another way of reaching internal solace is to harass those weaker than yourself, effectively going hunting. I of course mean mercilessly beating militia's into submission, until they learn that it is futile to combat against your wrath. These militia's are weak, craven and are prone to bursts of anger, seeking to hunt and lynch those they disagree with. By harassing and promptly executing them, you are doing their countless victims a favour, and are effectively helping save Rivellion. It is therefore imperative for your psychological health that you harass a noble faction you despise and subsequently skirmish with their militia's and take no prisoners.

In Conclusion
I reiterate my statement again, and will conclusively proclaim that despite the psychological toll you have faced do not falter, and most significantly do not feel ashamed to seek recovery methods from this guide. Ultimately to ease your troubled conscience simply assure your internal being that the contracts you carried out were for the good the town, and that the beings you slayed were insidious and sinister in nature and had to ultimately be eradicated. A surefire way to successfully rehabilitate is to harass those that are inferior to yourself, to throw rocks at children and to scream incessantly at pigeons, all the while combating the Orcish hordes. Fret not about morale qualms for what are morale's except for intangible social constraints pushed upon the remnants of society? I merely jest, it is a pure and heroic deed to beat innocents, fully encapsulating your honour and courage. My mother used to say, "Quercus, don't throw stones at cripples", but my father, why he used to say "Aim for the head."
4 Comments
Double Jesus 2 Sep, 2022 @ 8:32pm 
:summer2019horn:
Remember, when fighting the truly weak and pitiful equip thy Brothers with wooden sticks so as to extend the catharsis
:summer2019horn:
UncleShredder 14 Oct, 2020 @ 11:39am 
It reads like book, i like it!:dwarven:
Sekata 19 Sep, 2020 @ 6:05pm 
I 100% support this guide
Piggy 17 Sep, 2020 @ 1:44pm 
What the fook did I just read.. I like what you have made