YOU'RE PLAYING METAL GEAR RISING, i HOPE YOU'RE READY TO MANY THE ♥♥♥♥ UP AND GET IT DONE.

WHAT ARE YOU? CASUAL? i SURE HOPE NOT. THIS GAME WILL CHEW YOU UP AND SPIT YOU OUT FASTER THEN A FAT GUY WITH DOLLAR MENU ITEM ON A FRIDAY EVENING.

THIS GUIDE IS FOR MEN WHO DON'T NEED THE OBVIOUS STATED TO THEM ALSO CAPS LOCK IS LIKE CRUISE CONTROL FOR COOL AND AWESOME.

HERE IS YOUR WEAPON, RAIDENS CLAYMORE SWORD. ITS THE BEST WEAPON IN THE WORLD. POWERED BY LIGHTNING, CAN CUT THROUGH ANYTHING CAN BE UPGRADED 5 TIMES BUT ONLY ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ USE THE UPGRADES, WHAT ARE YOU? A ♥♥♥♥♥?






TECHNIQUES
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MASH LIGHT ATTACK
MASH HEAVY ATTACK
MASH YOUR MOVEMENT CONTROL IN THE DIRECTION OF THE ENEMY AND MASH LIGHT ATTACK AT THE SAME TIME TO BE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ INVINCIBLE (UNLESS THEY GLOW YELLOW, IF THAT HAPPENS THEY ARE CHEATING, TAKE THE HIT LIKE A MAN. AND THEN REPORT THEM USING STEAM.)








GUIDE
---
PRESS NEW GAME AND SELECT HARD
WHAT ARE YOU? AFRAID?


METAL GEAR RAY
---

THE FIRST BOSS OF THE GAME. ALL YOU NEED TO DO IS THROW HIM INTO THE AIR AND CUT HIM IN HALF TWICE. EASY STUFF, JUST FOLLOW THE LAWS OF THE WILD. IF YOU DIE HERE YOU MIGHT AS WELL REQUEST A REFUND.








BLADE DOGE
---

SUCH INTELLECT, MUCH CHAINSAW TAIL, WOW.












MISTRAL
---

EASY, JUST SLIDE ALL OVER THE PLACE LIKE A EUROPEAN SOCCER PLAYER AND SLICE ALL HER DRONES TO PIECES WHILE MASHING LIGHT ATTACK ON HER. BUTCHER THOSE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ AND GIVE HER WHAT SHE'S LOOKING FOR.






MONSOON
---

WHAT A PRICK. HE BROUGHT OUT YOUR AWESOME TRANSFORMATION MODE THOUGH FROM NOW ON YOU BREAK THE GAME.

JUST MASH ATTACK AND PUSH THE DIRECTION BUTTON IN HIS DIRECTION AND CUT EVERYTIHNG UP AND HE WILL BE DONE FASTER THEN A VICTORIAN ERA BRITISH PROSTITUTE.






SUNDOWNER
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HES ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ INVINCIBLE. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS GOT PAST THE DEVELOPERS. THERE IS NO WAY TO BEAT HIM SO JUST GO BACK TO THE MAIN MENU AND ENTER "BEWAREOBLIVIONISATHAND" TO UNLOCK ALL CHAPTERS AND PROCEED TO THE NEXT LEVEL.





SAM
---

TIME FOR A GOOD OLE ONE ON ONE DUAL.

JUST ATTACK HIM UNTIL HE DIES AND YOU KILL THE ONLY GOOD BRAZILIAN VIDEO GAME CHARACTER, DO YOU FEEL LIKE A HERO YET?





METAL GEAR
---

OH MAH GAWD METAL GEAR!? IN A METAL GEAR GAME? WHO WOULD HAVE THOUGHT!?

JUST ATTACK IT UNTIL THE TRUTH IS LOST AND IT EXPLODES, ALSO IF YOU CUT IT INTO LESS THEN 500 PARTS AT THE END YOU LOSE YOUR MAN CARD





ARMSTRONG
---

ITS OVER, YOU CAN'T BEAT ARMSTRONG ETHIR, WE HAD A GOOD RUN BUT THE FUN STOPS HERE. HIS FLAWLESS ARGUMENT AND NANOMACHINES ARE JUST TOO MUCH.

ONLY WAY TO GET A GOOD ENDING IS TO JOIN HIM






CONCLUSION
---
I HOPE THIS GUIDE WAS HELPFUL, LET ER RIP COMRADES.