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FINAL FANTASY XIV Online > Guides > Xxiev's Guides
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How to get the Hatred from the whole FFXIV Community really easy!
By Xxiev
Hi! Are you lonely? Do you don't have a Girlfriend or Boyfriend? Do you need some attention? Then FEAR NOT BECAUSE I HAVE THE SOLUTION FOR YOU!

In this awesome and defnitily 100% not sarcastic, ironic and defnitly not troll Guide i will teach you how you make the FFXIV into your worst enemy! So read this guide TODAY!

Q: Why are you writing this Guide?

A: BECAUSE I'M F***ING BORED RN AND I WANT TO SHARE MY GODLIKE KNOWLEDGE!

Q: Do i have to take this Guide seriously?

A: YES! EVERYTHING HERE IS REALLY SERIOUS AND DEFINITLY NOT SARCASTIC!!



Edit: "Cause of some questions i decidet to add Lalafell to Races. (Lalas arent a race x> )

Update: 15.08.2022 : I will not Update the Guide and it will stay on Shadowbringers status. Sorry
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Created by
Xxiev
Online
Category: Gameplay Basics, Walkthroughs
Languages: English
Posted
Updated
4 Nov, 2019 @ 12:50pm
15 Aug, 2022 @ 1:15am
18,758 Unique Visitors
124 Current Favorites
Guide Index
Overview
THE EASY STEPS! 
THE RACES 
THE CLASSES 
THE AFTERWORD 
The real afterword 
Comments
THE EASY STEPS!
SO YOU ARE FINALLY HERE TO LEARN HUH?! OKAY LET'S START REALLY SIMPLE!

STEP 1: BE A WOW VETERAN!

EVERY FFXIV PLAYER HATES US WOW VETERANS BECAUSE WE SMELL OR ARE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ TOXIC, WE LOVE THICC ORCS OR PLAY CORPSES, OR HAVE SOME AWESOME MUSCLE NIGHT ELF BABES! NO EXEPTIONS! IF YOURE A WOW VETERAN EVERYONE WILL HATE YOU!

But Xxiev i'm not a WoW Veteran.. soo what should i do then?

FEAR NOT CHILD I HAVE SOME OTHER THIGNS FOR YOU!

STEP 2: SAY THAT WOW IS THE BETTER GAME!

YOU DONT EVEN HAD TO PLAY WOW JUST SAY IT AND SOME PEOPLE WILL HATE YOU! TRUST ME!!!

STEP: 3 HAUREFAUNT IS A BAD WRITTEN CHARACTER!

EVERYONE KNOW THIS CHARACTER IS REALLY BAD WRITTEN!!! SAY IT EVEN IF YOU LIKE HIM! MANY PEOPLE WILL BE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ MAD!!!!

STEP:4 NO ONE LIKES PARSERS!

IF YOURE SAYING OUT LOUDLY THAT FFLOGS AND PARSERS ARE DESTROYING THE WHOLE RAIDING SCENE THEN YOURE GETTING THE HATE FO EVERY RAIDER!

I MEAN YOSHIDA HIMSELF DOESN'T WANT PARSERS AND FFLOGS IN HIS GAME, BUT I THINK HE IS JUST MAD THAT EVERY OF HIS PARSES ARE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ GREY!
THE RACES
WELL IF PEOPLE ARE NOT MAD RIGHT NOW THEN LET'S SPEAK ABOUT THE RACES! SO FEAR NOT!! ILL HELP YOU

HYURAN

IF YOU SEE A HYURAN YOU KNOW THESE PEOPLE HAVE NO REALLY FANTASY CAUSE THEY ARE PLAYING THE BASIC ♥♥♥♥♥ RACE!! THEY ARE BORING NORMAL AND EVERYWHERE!!!

AND THEY ARE PROBLABLY DOING DAD JOKES AS A HIGHLANDER I MEAN CMON WHO ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ LIKES DAD JOKES?!

ELEZEN

NO ONE PLAYS THIS RACE ACTUALLY! AND WHEN THEY DO THEYRE PROBABLY DOING A BAYONETTA COSPLAY! SO TELL THEM THAT IF YOU SEE ONE!!!!

ROEGADYN

THIS CREATURES ARE EVERYWHERE WITH THERE MUSCLES; THEY ARE PROBABLY ALWAYS PALADINS OR WARRIORS AND HALF NAKED IN SHORTS!!! I MEAN CMON WHO THE ♥♥♥♥ WOULD PLAY THAT!!

OH AND FEMROES, IF YOU SEE A FEMALE PALYER THAT PLAYS A FEMROE THEN FLAME HER FOR THAT, NO REAL GIRL PLAYS A FEMROE!! YOU GET PLUS POINTS IF IT TRENDS ON TWITTER AND HAS A HASHTAG!!

POTATOES

THERE IS A RACE THAT NO ONE TALKS ABOUt, A RACE SO FORBIDDEN THAT YOU CANT EVEN MOD THEM WITHOUT GETTING F*CKED, A RACE SO FORBIDDEN THAT THEY ARE ALLWAYS THE EVIL GUYS!
NO ONE WITH A HEALTHY SANITY PLAYS POTATOES! THEY ARE ALL EVIL AND PORABLY WILL TRY TO KILL YOU INGAME AND IN REAL LIFE! THEY ARE THE GNOME PLAYERS FROM WOW!

MIQO'TE

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ EVERYONE PALYS THIS CALSS AND THEY HAVE PROBABLY A SLUTGLAM, OR ARE ONLY IN A BIKINI AND CALL IT CUTE, HOW DISGUSTING!!

TELL THESE PEOPLE THEY ARE PLAYING THE BASIC ♥♥♥♥♥ RACE!!!

AU RA

THE SAME WITH MIQO'TE BUT WITH SCALES!!

AND BOTH RACES ARE MOSTLY USED FOR R34!!! LIKE WTF!!!

VIERA AND HROTGAR

GENDERLOCKED NO MORE TO SAY
THE CLASSES
WELL IF THE PEOPLE NOW ARE NOT MAD AT YOU THEN WE HAVE TO TAKE THE CLASSES!!

THE PALADIN

IT'S EASY TO PISS OF PALADINS JUST SAY THAT HEAVENSWARD PALADIN IS THE BEST PALADIN! ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU HAVE TO DO BRAYFLOX LONGSTOP WITH SWORD OATH!!
GOOD TIMES GOOD TIMES!!

AND IF NOT THEN SAY THAT PALADIN IS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ OVERPOWERED!!!

THE WARRIOR

THESE PEOPLE ARE MENTALLY HANDICAPPED BECAUSE THEY ONLY CAN PRESS THERE FELL CLEAVE BUTTON! THEY CAN TANK DO MASSIVE DAMAGE AND HAVE A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 1K POTENCY HEAL LIKE WTF!!!!

IF YOU SEE ONE TELL THEM THEY ARE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ CAUSE THEY ONLY PLAY THE EASY CLASSES!!!

THE DARKKNIGHT

REALLY EASY TO ANNOY JUST TELL THEM THAT HEAVENSWARD DRK ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ SUCKED; NO ONE NEEDET SCOURGE, DARK DANCE, DELIRIUM AND ALL THE OTHER ♥♥♥♥!!

AHH YES AND TELL THEM FRAY IS A ♥♥♥♥♥♥ AND HIS ARC IS REALLY BAD WRITTEN!!

[Don't do that if you want to live.]

THE GUNBREAKER!!!

TELL THEM THEY ONLY PLAY THE NEW CLASS OR THAT GUNBREAKER IS ASHIT CALSS CAUSE THEY ARE NOT A DPS CLASS CAUSE YOU ARE TO BAD TO TANK!
OR THEY ONLY PLAY GUNBREAKER CAUSE OF THAT ONE WEIRD CAHRACTER FROM THE OTHER FF GAME I THINK HIS NAME WAS LEON!!!!

THE WHITEMAGE

THESE PEOPLE ARE ALSO EASY TO ANNOY! TELL THEM THEY ONLY HAVE TO HEAL AND SHOULD DELETE GLARE FROM THEIR HOTBAR, AND THAT CLERIC STANCE WAS BS ANYWAY! IF THEY ARE NOT SHOWING ANY KIND OF ANGER YET THEN TELL THEM THAT THE REMOVAL OF STONESKIN WAS THE RIGHT DECISION FROM SE!

THE SCHOLAR

THESE PEOPLE ARE REALLY WEIRD, JUST TELL THEM THEY ARE JSUT PLAYING A ♥♥♥♥♥♥ SUMMONER! SO TELL THEM THEY SHOULD PLAY SUMMONER! NO ONE LIKES FAERIES ANYWAY!

THE ASTROLOGIAN

ANOTHER REALLY EASY TO ANNOY CLASS! TELL THEM THAT BALANCING FISHING WAS ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ AND SHB ASTRO IS IN EVERY REGARD BETTER THEN EVERY ASTRO BEFORE, IF THAT DOESN'T HELP JUST TELL THEM THAT THEY SHOULD PLAY WHITEMAGE! CAUSE THEY CAN'T REALLY HEAL ANYWAY!


THE DRAGOON

DRAGOONS ARE WEIRD PEOPLE TOO THEY LOVING DRAGONS HAVE BIG SPEARS AND ALL THAT ♥♥♥♥, BUT THEY DIENG EVERYTIME YOUD ONT LOOK AT THEM SO JUST MAKE FUN OF THEM, THEY EVEN DIE BY STANDING IN LIMSA SO WATCH OUT!

THE MONK

THESE PEOPLE LOVE THEIR WEIR DPOSITIONALS, IF YOURE A TANK JUST SPIN THE MOB OR BOSS THE WHOLE TIME! AND YOU GOT A NEW ENEMY IN NO TIME!

ALSO ♥♥♥♥♥ ABOUT THEIR DPS CAUSE THEY DON'T DO DPS ANYWAYS!

THE NINJA

THESE WEABOOS ARE REALLY ANNOYING SOMETIMES! BUT IF YOURE KEEP TELLING THEM THAT THEY ARE JUST PLAYING THESE CLASS CAUSE THEYRE WEEABOOS IN REAL LIFE AND ARE ONLY PART OF THE RAID FOR TRICK ATTACK YOU SHOULD HAVE SUCESS!

THE SAMURAI

BASICALLY THE SAME WITH NINJA WITH THE EXEPTION THAT THEY ARE ONLY DO DAMAGE AND NOTHING ELSE, AND THEY ARE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ EASY SO ONLY DEGENERATE PEOPLE ARE PLAYING THEM, SO REMIDN EVERY SAMURAI OF THAT!!!

THE BARD

ONLY WOMAN PLAY THIS CLASS! IF YOURE SEEING A MAN PLAYING THIS CLASS REMIND HIM THAT HE SHOULDNT PLAY THIS CLASS, ALSO BARDS HAVE A HIGH EGO AND KEEP BLAMING MACHINISTS, ESCPECIALLY IN STORMBLOOD!!

THE MACHINIST

NO HUMAN BEING WITH A HEALTHY SANITY PLAYS MACHINIST, AND WHEN THEY HAD SOME KIND OF SANITY THEY LSOT IT BY PLAYING MACHINIST IN STORMBLOOD, NO I DEFNITILY NOT LOST MINE CAUSE OF THAT.....

THESE PEOPLE NOW HAVE A BIG ASS MECH AND A COOL MECHANCIS, BUT MOST OF THEM PLAYING MACHINIST CAUSE THEYRE COOL NOW BUT THEY NEVER PAYED THEM ATTENTION IN HW AND SB, REMIND THESE PEOPLE OF THAT, ONLY WE MACHINISTS WHO SUFFERED TROUGH SB ARE THE REAL MACHINISTS!!! DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!!

THE DANCER

THEY ARE PROBABLY PLAYING DANCER CAUSE IT'S THE NEW CLASS, KEEP REMINDING THESE PEOPLE THAT DANCER IS NO HEALING CLASS AND HOW AWESOME THAT IS, ALSO REMIND THEM THAT THEYRE GAY AND SHOULD PLAY BARD!

THE SUMMONER

TELL THIS PEOPLE THEY PLAYING A REALLY BAD SCHOLAR! I MEAN CMON WHY?!

IF YOURE SEING A SUMMONER WHO PRAYS BAHAMUT AND THEIR DONG TELL THEM THEY SHOULD PLAY A REALY MANS OR WOMANS CLASS AND PLAY SCHOLAR, NO ONE NEEDS BAHAMUT OR THESE PHOENIX! SE STOEL THIS IDEA FROM KAEL'THAS FROM WARCRAFT ANYWAY!

THE BLACKMAGE

IF YOURE A HEALER RESCUE THEM OUT OF THEIR LEYLINES EVERY POSSIBLE TIME, MAKE THEM MOVE THE WHOLE TIME AND DON'T ADJUST FOR THEM, THESE LAZY BUTTS SHOULD MOVE THEIR OWN ASS!!

ALSO TELL THEM THAT ICEMAGE IS THE BEST THING SINCE FLAVOURED CONDOMS!

THE REZZMAGE

IF A REZZMAGE WANT TO BE IN YOUR PARTY TELL THEM THEY SHOULD PLAY A DPS CLASS AND NO REZZ CLASS! I MEAN WHO THE ♥♥♥♥ HAS FUN BY PLAYING A ROLE WHO IS ONLY THEIR FOR REZZING! ARE WE IN 2004 WHERE WE ARE OUT OF COMBAT REZZING IN MOLTEN CORE?!

THE BLUEMAGE

SADLY NO ONE LIKES THIS CLASS ANYWAY SO THERE ARE NO BLUEMAGES OUT THERE, TELL THE PEOPLE THAT BLUEMAGE IS A WONDERFULL CLASS AND THEY SHOULD MAKE EVERY NEW CLASS LIKE BLUEMAGE!!!
THE AFTERWORD
IF YOURE DID EVERYTHIGN CORRECTLY EVERYOEN WILL HATE YOU AND YOURE BLACKLISTET EVERYWHERE CONCRATZ YOURE PLAYED YOURSELF!

♥♥♥♥♥♥! WHY SHOULD YOU DO THAT?!
The real afterword
If i didn't said it already, please don't take anything in this Guide seriously and please don't follow any step of that Guide, i love World of Warcraft and Final Fantasy XIV.

Grettings from Moogle!
89 Comments
< >
Xxiev  [author] 22 Apr, 2024 @ 2:02pm 
This guide won't be updated anymore, it stays in the glorious ShB version.

My reason is that i don't have any interest in it anymore.
Fella In Paris 5 Apr, 2024 @ 6:44am 
Might want to update that part about Viera and Hrothgar being genderlocked...
Humble Techpriest 15 Aug, 2023 @ 1:47am 
I will use everything in this guide and then some.

The Hyuran Mustard race must Bear-d through this storm of Fem-Miqote!
Omnilibrist 27 Apr, 2022 @ 12:13am 
MIQO'TE

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ EVERYONE PALYS THIS CALSS AND THEY HAVE PROBABLY A SLUTGLAM, OR ARE ONLY IN A BIKINI AND CALL IT CUTE, HOW DISGUSTING!!

This ork knows what's up!

Sincerely
fem-miqote (with a slutmog slutglam)
Solaires 6 Feb, 2022 @ 5:23pm 
Could laugh at these because some are actually funny. Still I think the only problem is your writing. Couldn't help but continuously look at the spelling mistakes.Yes fanboys are definitely a problem. I got more of a laugh because it's obvious you have played both games to use FFXIV inside jokes as well as WoWs.
Lucky 20 Jul, 2021 @ 8:39am 
I am a WoW veteran and i can confirm FF14 players are ♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate me so much they even send threats to me
p l a g u e ツ 18 Jul, 2021 @ 10:02pm 
this is a funny read for today's times
Kalixrah 21 Mar, 2021 @ 6:29pm 
I read this in my head with the voice of one of those overly hyped ♥♥♥♥♥ up voice over guys trying to sell things for a company and i was not disappointed lol
kragor 29 Dec, 2020 @ 6:14pm 
im so trolled now.. F**K,!! i'm gonna rage
은재 25 Dec, 2020 @ 7:47pm 
lmfao