Freedom Ending
Follow the narration to the Mind Control Machine and turn it off. This gets you the Beat the game achievement.

Explosion Ending
Follow the narration to the Mind Control Machine and turn it on. There is no way to end the countdown despite all the buttons and clues given.

Crazy Ending
After going through the left door when given a choice, go down the stairs instead of up.

Museum Ending
Follow the narration and enter the left door. After going down the elevator in the boss's office, turn left and follow the path labeled escape.

Confusion Ending
When given a choice go through the right door. Follow the narrator and enter the door in the hallway on the left. You'll enter the maintenance room. Go down the elevator here. And follow the narration and Adventure Line.

Powerful Ending
When given a choice, go through the right door. Ignore the narrator and the door on the left into a room with a lift on it. Jump off the lift for this ending.

Apartment Ending
When given a choice, go through the right door. Ignore the narrator and the door on the left into a room with a lift on it. Ride the lift and answer the phone.

Real Person Ending
When given a choice, go through the right door. Ignore the narrator and the door on the left into a room with a lift on it. Ride the lift and unplug the phone. When given the choice again going through the right door will give you a broken story ending and put you back at the choice. Going through the left door will eventually get you to the ending credits of the game.

Suicide Ending
Go through the right door. Ignore the narrator and the door on the left into a room with a lift on it. Ride the lift high enough to drop onto the catwalk. When given a choice go through the red door.

Baby Game Ending
Go through the right door. Ignore the narrator and the door on the left into a room with a lift on it. Ride the lift high enough to drop onto the catwalk. When given a choice go through the blue door every time. Fail on the baby game to get this ending.

4 Hour Baby Game Ending
Go through the right door. Ignore the narrator and the door on the left into a room with a lift on it. Ride the lift high enough to drop onto the catwalk. When given a choice go through the blue door every time. Keep playing the baby game. Eventually you'll have to press another button to keep a puppy out of a pool of piranhas. When you play this game for four hours, pressing both buttons, you'll get another ending. Watch this video to see it.
Thanks to Praying Mantis for the tip.

Coward Ending
Close the door to Stanley's office right at the start of the game.

Whiteboard Ending
Restart the game using "Begin the game again" from the menu until you get the blue room outside of your office instead of the normal office. In door 426 there'll be a very special whiteboard for you. For the bark see Enable Console and sv_cheats 1 in the Secrets section.

Out the Window Ending
Get up on employee 434's desk by running into the chair. Get on top of the monitor and crouch. Keep crouched and walk over to the monitor next to it and then out the window.

Escape Pod Ending
Follow the narration to the Boss's office. As the double doors to his office close walk back out. You'll be able to walk back to Stanley's office. A door to the right will be open and leads to a long flight of stairs that lead to an escape pod.
Credit to dANDY|BS1 for the find.

Steam user UnShame created a very handy chart for most of the endings here. And here's a more complete one by Sakarias-Longhorn.

Achievement
In the menu go to Options then Extras and Enable Achievements.



Beat the game
Follow the narration and turn the Mind Control Machine off to get the Freedom Ending and this achievement.


You can't jump
Press the space bar a number of times.



Welcome back!
Exactly what the achievement page says, exit the game and start it again.



Click on door 430 five times
It's not quite as easy as it sounds but the narrator will guide you, I'll list the directions here as well. Click on door 430 five times, then twenty times, then fifty times. Then go to door 417 and click on it twenty times. Then click on door 437. After that click on door 415 ten times. Then go back to door 437 and give that a click. Then click on the copy machine. After that go back to door 417 and click on that. Then use the nearby box to climb on top of employee 419's desk. Then click on door 416. And then click the copy machine once more. And finally click five times on door 430 to get the achievement!

8888888888888888
Input 8888 on the keypad in the boss's office twice.



Go outside
Just as the achievement page says, don't play the game for five years. A much simpler way is to just set your system clock to five years in the future and play the game to get this achievement.


Speed run
First you'll need to go through the boss's room section of the game enough that the narrator opens the door for you without putting in the keycode. Then reload the game using "Begin the game again" from the menu until you get one of three rooms right outside of Stanley's office instead of the standard spawn. One is a short hallway that leads straight to the left and right choice doors. The other two are blue rooms that are also a short walk to the choice doors. Once you get one of those, follow the narrator's intended path (left door, up the stairs) without stopping. Proceed to the mind control room and turn the machine off. If you were fast enough, you just earned this achievement!
Thanks to Absconditus for explaining this. Check this guide for pictures or this video.

A quicker way to get this would be to enable the console (see the Console Commands section), start a new game and type "changelevel freedom" into the console. Continue until the end and you'll get the achievement. Thanks to nairolf for pointing this out.


Commitment
Play The Stanley Parable for the entire duration of a Tuesday. This can be done by changing your system clock. You must have the game running for the entire 24 hours.
Thanks to DigitalZephyr for the tip.


Unachievable
It is impossible to get this achievement. Yet according to the achievement page someone has got it. It seems that getting this achievement is slightly random and has to do with saving and loading the game in some way. If you don't mind being a dirty cheater though, you can follow Rob's Guide to get this achievement using console commands.

Heaven
By clicking each computer with the text "AWAITING INPUT" and getting "INPUT RECEIVED" you can access a hidden area known as heaven. After each input restart your game in the menu using "Begin the game again". Here are the locations of the computers:

• On desk 419
  
• On desk 423
  
• On the boss's secretary desk right outside his office
  
• On desk 434
  
• Then on Stanley's Computer at the start

Thanks to Thomasddq™ for his guide.

Disco Secret
In the room with the screens, just before the elevator ride to the Mind Control Room, go all the way to the elevator and press the button. Wait for a while and the gate behind you, leading back, will open back up. Go back to the first switch with the lightbulb on it and press it for an awesome secret and the song from the secret in the demo! Vintage Blees-o-tron made a nice video showing it off.
Thanks to ๖ۣۜPepsi 2.2 for the find.

Payday Mask Easter Egg
Follow the path of the Confusion Ending (choose the right door, then go left when the narrator tells you to and go down the lift in the maintenance room). Follow the narriator until you get to the part with The Adventure Line. Follow that until it zig zags in a cement room. It'll be next to some boxes near door 0B2. You'll see Dallas's mask from the game Payday: The Heist.
Check Thomasddq™'s guide for pictures.

Gone Home Easter Egg
Go through the left door and go down the stairs. The paper at the bottom of the stairs is a note[dl.dropboxusercontent.com] from the game Gone Home.

Papers Please Easter Egg
Go through the right door and follow the path past the open door on the left to the lift. Jump off the lift onto the catwalk. In the hallway right before the red and blue doors there will be papers on the ground. These are papers from the game Papers Please.
Thanks to Nicole for the tip and pictures.

Analogue: A Hate Story Easter Egg
On employee 423's desk there's a diary entry. This is from the game Analogue: A Hate Story.
Thanks to JKO-K6_AE for the tip.

Ittle Dew Easter Egg
Go through the right door and go past the open door. Ride the lift and jump off it to get on the catwalk. Go through the red door. In the room where you commit suicide there is a crayon drawing of the protaginst from the game Ittle Dew.
Thanks to NIKENIT for the info.

Office Space Easter Egg
Go through the left door and continue on to the meeting room. On the table there is a T.P.S. Report. This is a reference to the movie Office Space[www.imdb.com].
Thanks to ☂ {GiGi} ☂ for the info.

Facepunch Easter Egg
Type "facepunch" into the game at any point to get this effect. Facepunch[facepunch.com] is the forum run by Garry of Garry's Mod.
Thanks to Kryzoid for the info.

Employee of the Year Photo
Enter the left door at the first choice. Click on the first picture of some leaves and it will turn into an Employee of the Year Photo. The photo is of Gran PC, one of the game's developers.
Thanks to --CGA-- Thrakerzod and http://steamproxy.net/id/fabricred22 for the tip.

Boss's Keypad Secrets
There are several secrets related to the keypad in the boss's office. Input "8888" twice to get the 8888888888888888 achievement (a reference to the demo). Input the correct code "2845" before the narrator tells you to get some unique dialog and some calming new age music. Inputting the code "1947" (the code from the original mod) will get you the dialog about the passageway opening but nothing will happen, input the correct code "2845" to continue.

Broom Closet
At the choice go through the left door, follow the path until the Broom Closet and open it up. Stand in it for some interesting dialog. Going in there again after getting an ending or resetting the game will get you more dialog. When you try to go there after reloading again it'll be boarded up.

Room 417
In the small hallway with door 417 in it close the doors in front of you and behind you for some extra dialog.

Randomized Elements
There are some random elements to the game that as of yet have no meaning. Sometimes papers will litter the floor. Other times you'll get a different spawn such as the straight hallway or blue room (good for the Speed run achievement and for getting the Whiteboard Ending). Also there's sometimes a phone ringing at employee 434's desk. Sometimes it's your "wife" calling with groceries, sometimes a order (which will arrive next time you reload the game, filling the office with boxes). This phone may have something to do with the Unachievable achievement. Finally steam user [LG]SLiiDE has seen another employee. It also seems that after playing the game for a while the monitors will display THE END IS NEVER. Also the text on the wall of the Executive Bathroom will change. Wind an rain can sometimes be heard at the start outside the windows and the narrator will comment on this.

To enable the developer's console, right click on the game and select properties. In Launch Options add: This will enable the developer's console in game. Press the ~ (` key) to open it. Here's a list of known commands in the game:

• sv_cheats 1 -This will send you to the "Serious Room" for a stern talking to. Repeating it gets more dialog.
  
• bark - Barks whenever you press the Use key (as seen in the Whiteboard Ending).
  
• hideous - Brings up this page in the Steam Browser. Repeating this command gets you different results.
  
• raphael - Makes the narrator say "Stanley" over and over again instead of playing the normal dialog.
  
• imabird - Float to the ceiling like in the Crazy Ending. Thanks to tharglet for the find.
  
• _430 - Get the Click on door 430 five times achievement.
  
• _430_disable - Disable getting the 430 achievement? Inputting this will get you "heck no!" in the console.
  
• _888 - Get the 8888888888888888 achievement.
  
• _beat - Get the Beat the game achievement.
  
• _u - Would get you the Unachievable but will just print "Hey don't you even try" to the console. Follow Rob's Guide to get it.
  
• _resetgamestats - Presumably resets your saved stats between restarts of the game. Testing shows that this doesn't effect Heaven console inputs.
  
• ent_create_portal_companion_cube - Create a Companion Cube from Portal.
  
• ent_create_portal_weighted_cube - Create a Weighted Storage Cube from Portal.
  
• ent_rotate <number> - Rotate a dynamic prop.
  
• ent_remove - Remove a dynamic prop.
  
• ent_fire !picker open - Opens a door.
  
• ent_teleport player - Teleports the player to where you're looking.

Thanks to pointless for the underscore commands. And thanks to [2FR] carl sagan² and The Derr Man for their guide on the ent commands.

Now that you have the console enabled you can also set custom keybindings to commands not supported in the game. Follow ScrapTF | Bat-Country's guide to add a makeshift zoom feature.

pointless has dumped a full list of all console commands in the game. See it here[pastebin.com]. Note that very few of them are specific to The Stanley Parable, most are common to all Source engine games.