We could be philisophical about this but to be honest...

We want Patchie

Simple

No fuss

Release it

First, we must adorn lord patchies head with the glorious green helmet of protection

This is done with:

Padded Coif

Colour:

Sickly Green aka 26

However the colour does not make patchie sick! It makes his enemies weak when they stare upon his beautiful nogin!

We must then protect Patchies chest with human clothing.

We know however that in reality Patchies chest hair can deflect all shots and hits but we must protect human eye balls from his mystical fur. Just like the devs protect the patchie from the masses.

We need the:

Doublet Padded

Colour:

Red 45

This colour represents the blood of developers who dont release patchies REEEEEEEEEEEEEE

We must then adorn patchies arms to protect them from the sunlight, If Patchie sees sunlight it will show that the developers went outside and were not working on the patchie. This is a disgrace!

We use:
Gambeson tight Sleeve

Colour:

Red 45

Next we shall protect Patchies short stubby legs, this represents the communities patience for patchie!

We use:

Linnen Hosen

Colour:

Red 45

Not much is know about the biology of a wild patchie...


Usually, they are fat and large. This represent the content that is held within the patch! For it is marvellous and S T R O N K

For this we use M A X I M U M S T R O N K and M A X I M U M F A T

This makes patchie immune to all but the worst bugs and malfunctions.

Patchie usually hates new weapons. However, as patchies usually are, they make weapon balancing worse!

This is why his favourite weapons are rarer than a regular dev blog.

Patchie is a Connoseur so to speak,

They are a refined gentlemen who loves to frustrate!

This is why his favourite weapons are:


Patchie must burn all the non believers! All those who believe he will never come! He must clense them so that they may be reborn in a holy fire of high pitch floppish voices!

Hope you enjoyed the guide!
Don't forget to favourite and rate it up!

Maybe if we get enough patchies in one match we can make our lord and saviour appear!