"Low key looks like the guy from Parks and Rec. Probabaly LARPS Homestuck and My Little Pony on the weekends. Used to be into red pill threads on Reddit but now he's a little less misogynistic. Probably good with kids. 5/10 overall decent guy."

"Messy eater. Loves old arcade games and grilled cheese sandwiches. Doesn't wash her hair often enough but still usually smells nice and looks out for her friends. Wants to have "I'll cut a ♥♥♥♥♥" energy but tends to be significantly less confident in confrontational situations. 12/10 neutral good lesbian."

"SOLID 21/10 bisexual Taurus who dreams of living out the 80's Mom lifestyle. Probably surfs and also runs a pretty decent Tumblr. Wears socks to bed. Offers you hand cream. By consequence, she is also very moisturised and all of her belongings are slightly greasy. Doesn't play any video games except for Pokemon. Thinks Ginger Ale is top tier."

"Used to try real hard to look like Skrillex but now he's growing it out and going for a more hipster look because every time he went on a date, the girls would make fun of his Skrillex hair. Only listens to Muse, Nirvana, and NinjaSexParty. Allergic to tree nuts and salmon. Dirty fingernails and probably doesn't get all his vitamins but he's still pretty healthy. Thinks there's nothing wrong with fanny packs, but doesn't own one either, so no one is really sure about his opinion. Voted for Bernie."

"Looks too cool."

"Name's Popeye. I'm 5'9, 65 years young, and I like old broads with perms. Probably does some weird ♥♥♥♥ like cut his own jigsaw puzzles. Obviously a fisherman. Will rant to you about the Navy, but will never tell you about how he experimented with other boys when he joined as a teen. He keeps that part of himself locked away. Likes some of the "New Music the Kids are Listening To" like Post Malone. Mismatches his socks."

"K first of all. Dude is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ covered in blood but his checkered vans are somehow clean, what the ♥♥♥♥ is this character design? Second, mkay Brad, we get it. You have a blood fetish. Probably also has a piss fetish. Brad makes parties awkward by openly talking about this. No one likes Brad, who invited him? Oh, that's right, no one, because he just shows up where he's not wanted and doesn't know how to sense the mood. Nice going, Brad."

"She was the, "Can I Speak To the Manager (tm)" once, but now she's been through the apocalypse and lives in a ditch. Filthy as ♥♥♥♥, but I don't know, maybe she has a nice smile? Can't wash her clothes, but keeps her hair back combed and hairsprayed. Forgot how to read and write."

"This is the guy who comes back around 15 years later still claiming that he's heterosexual and loves his wife."

"Who let this ♥♥♥♥ cut her own bangs jesus ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ christ. She's the type of girl who told everyone she was part cat in school and proceeded to act like one, refusing to eat unless her food was put in a bowl on the floor. She's always having a harder day(tm) than everyone else and competes in the Pain Olympics."

"Still uses Microsoft Messenger. Again, badly cut his own hair because apparently the people in this game are heathens. Will only eat bread. Occasionally switches it up by adding peanut butter or cheese whiz to the bread. Sometimes both. Has never had a relationship and probably never will. Wants to be a leather daddy but only for the aesthetic because BDSM scares him."

"Apparently has conflicted feelings about safety, because he's wearing a bulletproof vest but also a flimsy dress shirt that he's rolling up the sleeves on. Tried to be every aesthetic at once, resulting in a pretty good confusion method for his opponents. Trims his nostril hairs with scissors. Won't admit it but loves essential oils. Has 12 dogs."

"Okay, so, clearly the rope isn't sturdy enough to hoist anyone to safety so it's only useful for one of two things; either camping and pitching a tent, or just bondage. Looooooooves eyeliner but also never washes it off so she's probably going to go blind from the layers of decade old eyeliner building up in her tear ducts. Hates quiet so she just constantly hums and makes inhuman noises. Hard to relate to. Likes warm tonic water."

"Only 40% leg and 60% torso and arms. Tries to make dad jokes but they're honestly a mess and not funny at all. Has a rash that he should probably get looked at but he believes the lord will heal him. Hasn't slept in 3 years thanks to caffeine patches. Thinks Tupperware is a reasonable birthday gift for his 6 year old niece."

"Good Ol' Scurvy Dave actually has scurvy because he won't eat vegetables or fruits ever. Lost most of his eyebrow in a kitchen fire. Likes the cheapest, worst beer brands and claims they're an acquired taste for the most elevated palettes. Watches basketball but doesn't actually know how to play. Still learning English but it's his first and only language."

"Thiccccccc as ♥♥♥♥, but very insecure so she only ever posts cropped pictures of her butt. Exclusively drinks Iced Americanos. Thinks Regular Show is good. Streams on Twitch.TV. Wants to raise geckos someday. All around good mom friend vibes but isn't responsible enough to actually be a mom friend."

"Is that the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ infinity gauntlet??? And oh man. This guy is an uncle and you know it. Thinks he's hot ♥♥♥♥, definitely wears REALLY tight speedos at the beach. Has a strict skincare routine but feels emasculated if you suggest that his hair colour is unnatural (which it is, he's totally grey but dyes it). Kind of a not great neighbour. Bit of a ♥♥♥♥. Cannot drive for ♥♥♥♥ but insists on teaching his sons how to drive. Feels pride in the fact that he only has sons. Won't eat anything yellow."