1. Buy the game.
2. Instantly go for ranked matches when you can; don't play any more then 20 normal matches.
3. When the opposing team scores, be sure to blame others, especially by spamming "Wow" "What a Save" and "nice one!"
4. When you get deranked to silver/bronze, be sure to always be toxic and pick fights with your teammates! that's the best way to play competitively!
5. ??
6. Profit.