1. Water
   
2. Prune Juice
   
3. Something Green
   
4. Bolshewhiskey
   
5. Liquid Cheese

1. Trout Jelly
   
2. Mellow Mushroom
   
3. Tremendous Toadstool
   
4. Impossible Flurk
   
5. Fantastic Feta
   
6. Stigmatic Celery
   
7. Stoneflower Seeds
   
8. Repulsive Squishleaf
   
9. Crabflower Shell Paste
   
10. Katabatic Kamoon

1 1 2 A smell that provokes monkeys
1 1 3 A smell that revokes monkeys
1 1 4 A smell that revolts monkeys
1 1 5 A smell that contorts monkeys
1 1 6 A smell that rewards monkeys
1 1 7 A smell that supports monkeys
1 1 8 A smell that reports monkeys
1 1 9 A smell that distorts monkeys
1 1 10 A smell that evokes monkeys
1 2 1 Tremulous gronkensmats
1 2 3 A weird potion
1 2 4 A sense of failure
1 2 5 OH NO, A BEAR! RUN! ...no, wait, that's the gas talking. The gas you just brewed, I mean.
1 2 6 The smell of a drunk crab at six in the morning on a remote beach on the Isle of the Sun
1 2 7 A smurming frengoggle
1 2 8 A Potion of Blur
1 2 9 A new number
1 2 10 The smell of bubblegum. It's quite pleasant
1 3 1 Yuck
1 3 2 OH MY GOD IT'S A BEAR!!!
1 3 4 Omnicular crepes
1 3 5 A strange anomalous artifact called a Jellyfish
1 3 6 A tiny drop of orange juice
1 3 7 The concept of immaculate pomposity
1 3 8 The strange brightness that suffuses Area X
1 3 9 The smell of snow on the first day of spring in Fifth Pumpkin
1 3 10 The smell of Frank Stallone's eyebrows
1 4 1 Something vague
1 4 2 You did not create a banana
1 4 3 Yuo creted a gass than caus typpoes
1 4 5 You see a vision of a hollowed-out duck in orbit around Ganymede - not in the Lands of Dream, but in your own world! What could this mean? (Sinclair's Duck!)
1 4 6 The smell of potato pastries
1 4 7 Zoinkalicious urubladders. The float away, incomprehensible as always
1 4 8 A sentence
1 4 9 Did you get a cookie? What is a cookie?
1 4 10 Cat vomit. Get rid of it! Now!
1 5 1 An unstable molecule. It falls over
1 5 2 A spice so hot, only the legendary Flaming Brian could eat it without dying
1 5 3 The smell of sand
1 5 4 The smell of turtles
1 5 6 The smell of Hamsters of Doom
1 5 7 The smell of dinosaurs
1 5 8 Memetics. Better throw this pseudoscience crap in the trash. Might be catching
1 5 9 A Goth Potion
1 5 10 A minor flup
1 6 1 Eau de water
1 6 2 Frabulous tronkfluid. It evaporates
1 6 3 A sense of unease
1 6 4 A Kolobok. Careful, it's pointy.
1 6 5 An umlaut. It's weird
1 6 7 A Hyperschnitzel. It vanishes into a higher dimension, where it will be served to the ghost of a German tourist unwilling to try other types of higher-dimensional food
1 6 8 Ellipses…
1 6 9 Organge Juice
1 6 10 Parrot powder, but you can't keep it. Your inventory is allergic to parrot powder
1 7 1 Sorry to be so crude, but you created an awful tart
1 7 2 Spider-Beer. Bob the Spider comes and takes it for his lair
1 7 3 The smell of pine needles resting on a mushroom in Mirkwood
1 7 4 A potion of narcissistic lifestyle politics. Thankfully, the awful brew evaporates rather quickly, leaving behind only a stain that smells vaguely of Maoism
1 7 5 A cat's meow. It annoys you
1 7 6 An impressive number of unique smells that few will ever truly appreciate
1 7 8 The smell of feet
1 7 9 The smell of goodness. No, not the concept of moral excellence, the man. Richard Goodness
1 7 10 Sorry to be so crude, but you created an awful fart
1 8 1 Sauerkraut. It's disgusting
1 8 2 The smell of a sweaty dog. How peculiar
1 8 3 A very small electrical discharge. Just strong enough to tickle a beagle
1 8 4 A potion that goes fzzzzzzt
1 8 5 The smell of xyzzy
1 8 6 Cauldron Cake aroma
1 8 7 A weird potion
1 8 9 A new flavour of earwax
1 8 10 Ennui
1 9 1 A possibility space. It turns out to be useless
1 9 2 A creative ambiguity. It turns out not to be ambiguous
1 9 3 An Intethian crab-cake. It's awful, so you throw it away
1 9 4 A sort of horrible pudding thing
1 9 5 A potion, but it seems kind of flat
1 9 6 Pixels
1 9 7 An oozy substance that makes you uncomfortable
1 9 8 A potion of invisibility. No, wait, it's an invisible potion. And now you've lost it
1 9 10 A boring gas
1 10 1 The smell of Frank Zappa's moustache
1 10 2 A Potion of Zibble
1 10 3 Something inappropriately glum
1 10 4 A ferny flange
1 10 5 A heavy metal. It screams
1 10 6 Home-brewed tsipouro
1 10 7 A slight discolouration
1 10 8 You created… what the hell is that?
1 10 9 Folk dancing. It's awful

2 1 2 Cold spoo
2 1 3 The concept of tuna
2 1 4 Bellybutton fluff
2 1 5 A substance known only as Henry. It's very polite
2 1 6 .ffuts srorrim taht sag a detaerc ouY
2 1 7 A new shade of yellow
2 1 8 A cheese that no-one can eat. The mouse in your inventory steals it from you
2 1 9 The invisible gas that causes paper jams in printers
2 1 10 Warm spoo
2 2 1 The smell of the Grateful Dead tour bus
2 2 3 Elf poo. Why did you do that?
2 2 4 A canoe. You don't need a canoe, so you give it to an old man
2 2 5 A shapeshifting alien that lives in a bucket. It leaves for no discernable reason apart from a cheap attempt at creating unearned drama. Pah.
2 2 6 The taste of gnu
2 2 7 Broccoli. WHY?
2 2 8 A tiny explosion. It's cute
2 2 9 Arr, ye made a pirate gas!
2 2 10 Chemtrails
2 3 1 An infinite supply of nothingness
2 3 2 The smell of the Forest of Eyeballs in spring
2 3 4 An outrageous number of descriptions
2 3 5 A splat
2 3 6 The taste of fried dog. Somewhere you hear a cat salivating in a particularly evil fashion
2 3 7 You almost created a cookie
2 3 8 Did you get a cookie? What is a cookie?
2 3 9 The smell of cookies, but no actual cookies
2 3 10 Did you get a cookie? What is a cookie?
2 4 1 A rumbictious flern
2 4 2 A quantum
2 4 3 The smell of Robert Baratheon's underpants
2 4 5 A gaseous bratwurst
2 4 6 The smell of an evil puppet
2 4 7 The smell of music
2 4 8 A Potion of Glob
2 4 9 A potion that arouses mushrooms. A mushroom steals it right out of your inventory
2 4 10 A lumberjack's sweat. It is powerful
2 5 1 The aroma of Johnny Gat. Smells like love, baby. Or possibly murder
2 5 2 A florinous zegeboid
2 5 3 The smell of Straton of Stageira's most logical arguments. It's very sharp
2 5 4 You see a vision of a hollowed-out duck in orbit around Ganymede - not in the Lands of Dream, but in your own world! What could this mean? (Sinclair's Duck!)
2 5 6 Words
2 5 7 A distinctly lemony aroma, reminiscent of the fart of the Citrus Bear
2 5 8 You recreated the atmosphere of the planet Xiccarph. Well done
2 5 9 Unstable pantofflium
2 5 10 A Biotalkatron session with Baba Yaga
2 6 1 GH-325. It's blue
2 6 2 A single zebra stripe
2 6 3 You see a vison of a hollowed-out duck in orbit around Ganymede - not in the Lands of Dream, but in your own world! What could this mean? (Sinclair's Duck!)
2 6 4 The smell of a store that sells fish-themed antiques
2 6 5 A substance that goes fzzt bzzt brzzzt
2 6 7 An invisible spoon, but you can't find it
2 6 8 Something really obscure
2 6 9 Gobbledygook
2 6 10 The sensation of sweaty fingers
2 7 1 Medicore Miruvor! It's kind of blah
2 7 2 A weird potion
2 7 3 Gold-pressed latinum. It's worthless
2 7 4 Alkahest. It dissolves itself
2 7 5 Gluttonous snoikberries. How disgusting
2 7 6 Phlogiston. Well, sort of
2 7 8 A powerful homeopathic drug. It does nothing
2 7 9 Corbomite
2 7 10 A tiny amount of Zrbite, but you have no use for it
2 8 1 A Biotalkatron session with Baba Yaga
2 8 2 You did not create something smelly. Or did you create something not smelly?
2 8 3 Frunky bubbleznoid
2 8 4 A substance that goes eeeeeeek
2 8 5 No, that just won't do
2 8 6 Did you get a cookie? What is a cookie?
2 8 7 The concept of effervescence
2 8 9 Something really cool, but a corporation in the Land of Sweatybum has patented its alchemical structure, so you can't have it
2 8 10 Lobotomite! It evaporates, leacing behind only the smell of austerity
2 9 1 Something really cool, but a corporation in the Land of Sweatybum has patented its alchemical structure, so you can't have it
2 9 2 The smell of Roland Deschain's boots. They smell of roses and sand
2 9 3 Solution of Squeak
2 9 4 The distinct odour of Avernum: mushrooms, rocks, and weird crystals. Actually... come to think of it, this might just be the smell of Underhome
2 9 5 A mixed metaphor
2 9 6 The smell of Serious Sam's armpits. They are his secret weapon
2 9 7 Plasmatic pants. No, you can't wear them
2 9 8 Zvvvvvvvvvvrrrrrm! Blrgl! Oink!
2 9 10 A Biotalkatron session with Squiggles
2 10 1 The stuff that they were feeding Smellycat
2 10 2 Something goaty
2 10 3 The stuff that accumulates under human fingernails
2 10 4 Flufflebuffle
2 10 5 A timid snort
2 10 6 A question mark?
2 10 7 A weird potion
2 10 8 Flarn, but it's not salty enough
2 10 9 Aflskpg ngernzgt kewngmskfgnfsd. It's a type of salad

3 1 2 Aerobics. How awful!
3 1 3 A Tsiprass. It surrenders national sovereignty
3 1 4 A new type of flavoured snot
3 1 5 The smell of wet cat fur
3 1 6 Anti-inflammatory bird poo
3 1 7 Zolous memphranes
3 1 8 A spice mix resembling that invented by the legendary scholar Denmas Klaneis
3 1 9 Moon Sugar. That stuff is illegal in a lot of places, you know
3 1 10 The rich aroma of Klava
3 2 1 The smell of fried Kethna bacon
3 2 3 A pancake wih the face of Slurmbrozd the Impaler on it. It's scary, so you throw it away
3 2 4 A mighty stink
3 2 5 Did you get a cookie? What is a cookie?
3 2 6 A postmodern potion. It's ♥♥♥♥, but knows that it's ♥♥♥♥
3 2 7 A potion of capitalism. It self-destructs
3 2 8 Gaseous papadums
3 2 9 A transdimensional dumpling. Somewhere, someone will be very happy
3 2 10 OH MY GOD IT'S A BEAR!!!
3 3 1 Something incredibly awful and self-important, but you're not sure what it is
3 3 2 Eine deutsche Substanz
3 3 4 A smell that is unique to a species of nudibranchs living in the waters near Swaylone's Island
3 3 5 A tiny spore of the kind that grows in Area X
3 3 6 A whisper of elephants
3 3 7 Organge Juice
3 3 8 An ellipsis...
3 3 9 The faintly melancholic tone of Rupert Everett's autobiographical works
3 3 10 A Biotalkatron session with Baba Yaga
3 4 1 A horrible virus. It's so awful, it even likes Anne McCaffrey's literary abominations. You decide never to speak to it again
3 4 2 Unstable elk matter
3 4 3 A dormant sneeze. It'll come out sooner or later...
3 4 5 Fried ectoplasm. The mouse in your inventory eats it, but later claims it would never touch such unhealthy food
3 4 6 Oh no you didn't!
3 4 7 Anomander Rake's favourite salad dressing
3 4 8 Cat vomit! Yuck!
3 4 9 Home-brewed tsipouro
3 4 10 Mangy algae
3 5 1 The mysterious substance that powers Frank Lepidus's chest hair
3 5 2 A Potion of Gnurg
3 5 3 Essence of Lacan. It's basically a turd on a stick
3 5 4 A foo
3 5 6 An unambitious ghost
3 5 7 A partial frog
3 5 8 A substance so horrible, it can't be described
3 5 9 A particle. Not a specific particle that does something interesting or funny, just a generic particle that hangs around being a particle and stuff
3 5 10 Tusked Milk. Don't drink it. Seriously
3 6 1 A Biotalkatron session with Baba Yaga
3 6 2 The taste of breakfast last Monday in Gnome Ann's Land Inn in Marete, Silmaria
3 6 3 Organge Juice
3 6 4 A dietary supplement for vegetarian vampires. It tastes awful
3 6 5 A tiny whirlwind
3 6 7 The taste of page 367 of the Oneiropolis University Edible Library's version of the Belgariad
3 6 8 The taste of page 368 of the Oneiropolis University Edible Library's version of the Malloreon
3 6 9 A type of goo that could replace a person's brain, if that person didn't really need to have a brain, and was also dead
3 6 10 A result-free experience
3 7 1 A bubble. Like the housing bubble in the Land of Plenty, it bursts
3 7 2 Zoot
3 7 3 The taste of page 1124 of the Oneiropolis University Edible Library's version of the Authorized Biography of Vlad Taltos As Told To A Hamster
3 7 4 Lethargy
3 7 5 A joke that can only be told to dogs with no noses
3 7 6 A Goth Potion
3 7 8 A momentary sense of gloom
3 7 9 The perfect mustard to go with a grumpenburger: no mustard at all
3 7 10 An unstable holeworm. It's completely mad, watch out!
3 8 1 A Potion of Urg
3 8 2 A nonpotion
3 8 3 Pierre. Pierre is a candle. He goes away
3 8 4 Organic, gluten-free nothing
3 8 5 A dreadful concoction whose only effect is to remind you that concoction is a very odd word
3 8 6 Air. Careful, Bob the Spider might sue you for copyright infringement. He invented that stuff, you know.
3 8 7 Substance 387
3 8 9 A liquid that goes glug glug sploinkiglug
3 8 10 That didn't work. Sorry
3 9 1 An incomplete result
3 9 2 Andrew
3 9 3 A substance that smells like burning hair
3 9 4 A lumwellian gorphin collectroid
3 9 5 A limited attention span
3 9 6 A skatoparticle. It smells of the Devil
3 9 7 A substance that has no sense of propriety
3 9 8 An infinite supply of hollow excuses
3 9 10 A weird potion
3 10 1 Air
3 10 2 The smell of the Talos Principle
3 10 3 The smell of orange blossoms. Huh.
3 10 4 The smell of earth after rain. It's very pleasant
3 10 5 Millions of tiny nipples
3 10 6 Did you get a cookie? What is a cookie?
3 10 7 Grumpy bubbles
3 10 8 Something really cool, but a corporation in Tzatzikistan has patented its alchemical structure, so you can't have it
3 10 9 A Goth Potion

4 1 2 Occam's shaving cream. It's OK, but usually misapplied
4 1 3 Something vaguley crumbly
4 1 4 Sun sugar
4 1 5 A substance that's not a jaguar
4 1 6 An inaudible plop
4 1 7 A sense of comforting warmth and sweetness
4 1 8 You almost created the answer to a very important question
4 1 9 Did you get a cookie? What is a cookie?
4 1 10 The impression of cookies
4 2 1 A protopudding
4 2 3 A metapudding
4 2 4 A hyperpudding
4 2 5 A flabby substance
4 2 6 The taste of boobies. The birds, naturally
4 2 7 A dumb particle
4 2 8 The letter F
4 2 9 A Potion of Awakeness
4 2 10 A Biotalkatron session with Baba Yaga
4 3 1 The smell of grilled winneasaurus
4 3 2 An unquenchable hunger for pizza
4 3 4 The new flesh
4 3 5 A new type of fusion cuisine
4 3 6 A gelatinous colloquialism
4 3 7 Substance 437
4 3 8 A substance that imitates whatever is in your fridge. If you don't have a fridge, it looks like an old remote control
4 3 9 A cat hair moustache
4 3 10 A skunk's sense of regret
4 4 1 The delicate aroma of Fenarian brandy
4 4 2 A frog's sense of tapioca. This substance may be slightly hallucinogenic, says the frog's crotch
4 4 3 An unexpectedly rational result. You throw it away, disgusted at the machine's obvious malfunction
4 4 5 Humidity
4 4 6 A huge tongue that lives in your toilet, waiting for the day when your guard finally drops
4 4 7 Offensive, inappropriate imagery
4 4 8 Something. Probably
4 4 9 A potion, but it seems kind of flat
4 4 10 A hashtag
4 5 1 The smell of evil roses
4 5 2 The smell of evil hoses
4 5 3 The smell of evil woses
4 5 4 The smell of evil noses
4 5 6 The smell of evil doses
4 5 7 The smell of evil poses
4 5 8 The smell of evil Moses
4 5 9 Purple
4 5 10 The smell of crimp
4 6 1 OH MY GOD IT'S A BEAR!!!
4 6 2 A floating chickpea
4 6 3 A declension
4 6 4 Essence of Elf Excretion. Never tell anyone you did this
4 6 5 A Biotalkatron session with Squiggles
4 6 7 An irregular fnood
4 6 8 The smell of a freshly cleaned bathroom
4 6 9 The taste of too many apples
4 6 10 Impermanent lard
4 7 1 The smell of the fourth season of Angel. Please flush
4 7 2 A scrotean scrumbubble. It sounds worse than it is
4 7 3 A Scottish substance
4 7 4 The worst soup in human history
4 7 5 Something that can only be described using an equation written in octopus blood on the skin of a still-living amateur endocrinologist
4 7 6 A Potion of Agility
4 7 8 Hideous popcorn
4 7 9 A caramel void
4 7 10 A time paradox. It immediately winks out of existence
4 8 1 A tiny glorkfnittle. It's cute
4 8 2 A red substance. 'Workers of the world, unite!' it shouts in its adorable little voice
4 8 3 A small amount of Zizekium. It twitches and says something incoherent
4 8 4 An insectile undershirt
4 8 5 A brief insight into the mind of the lobster people
4 8 6 A grumble
4 8 7 You created... something
4 8 9 A Potion of Blur
4 8 10 Inorganic food
4 9 1 The moustache wax that Vlad Taltos uses. It's too awesome to be described. Or seen. Or used
4 9 2 A parallel dimension. Well, another one
4 9 3 The smell of Anomaly XB-6783746's favourite pullover
4 9 4 Oothpaste. It's like toothpaste, but for eeth
4 9 5 A nomato. It's like a tomato, but not
4 9 6 A Canadian soup whistle
4 9 7 A llama's snot
4 9 8 A llama's snot. Yurgh!
4 9 10 A thing that now exists
4 10 1 A Potion of Blur
4 10 2 A semi-pudding
4 10 3 Hypercannoli. They cannot be perceived in this dimension
4 10 4 An error
4 10 5 A weird potion
4 10 6 Home-brewed tsipouro
4 10 7 A hobbit's bellybutton fluff
4 10 8 The mysterious substance that turns old ladies' hair purple
4 10 9 The number 7

5 1 2 A piece of crap
5 1 3 A piece of carp
5 1 4 An electron. It dances!
5 1 5 A saggy gas
5 1 6 A blue nothing
5 1 7 A green nothing
5 1 8 A yellow nothing
5 1 9 An orange nothing
5 1 10 A wheat byproduct
5 2 1 The smell of freshly-washed socks
5 2 3 Potato jelly
5 2 4 A Potion of Illusion. It's not real
5 2 5 An upsetting noodle
5 2 6 Organge Juice
5 2 7 An excitable French potion. It goes ouiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
5 2 8 A wooden diamond
5 2 9 The weird stuff that accumulates in elephants' ears in the summer
5 2 10 A Biotalkatron session with Squiggles
5 3 1 A Potion of Blur
5 3 2 A Potion of Astrology. It does nothing
5 3 4 Bananadine. It's yellow
5 3 5 Pretentious slime
5 3 6 An astral beard
5 3 7 A superb klania
5 3 8 A sheepy molecule
5 3 9 Anti-mayonnaise. Don't let it touch the regular stuff, or it'll go boom
5 3 10 Radscorpion perfume. Don't use it unless you yourself are in fact a radscorpion
5 4 1 A substitute for sugared broccoli
5 4 2 A question?
5 4 3 Terry
5 4 5 A very special shade of yellow
5 4 6 A weird potion
5 4 7 A Deleuzian Brew. It looks tasty at first, but then you realize it's actually full of huge turds. Better not
5 4 8 A brief electrical discharge
5 4 9 Home-brewed tsipouro
5 4 10 Protoleontine metameows
5 5 1 A memorable odour. If that keeps happening, go see a doctor
5 5 2 A liquid that contains all the properties of the work of Jean-François Lyotard. You flush it down the toilet as quickly as possible
5 5 3 A spontaneous emission of kitten particles. They look cute for a few seconds, then start ignoring you in favour of chasing some moth particles
5 5 4 Lyrical swamp-gas. Inhaling it produces a faint vision of dancing serpents
5 5 6 A substance that smells like a mushroom from Enroth. Any mushroom from Enroth, really, they all smell the same
5 5 7 A desire for chocolate
5 5 8 A small amount of Element Zero. You don't need it, so you put it in a drawer
5 5 9 Onomatopoeia
5 5 10 A pun. It blends right in
5 6 1 A burp. Look, it happens, why get upset about it? These bizarre taboos about entirely normal human bodily functions are really unnecessary
5 6 2 Rearden Metal. It breaks
5 6 3 Flavoured oxygen
5 6 4 An empty potion bottle. Well, you didn't create it, you just filled it with emptiness
5 6 5 Did you get a cookie? What is a cookie?
5 6 7 A substance that resembles dough, but isn't
5 6 8 A prayer to Jebo, the god of fools
5 6 9 A Biotalkatron session with Squiggles
5 6 10 The smell of the pudding tree
5 7 1 A potion, but it seems kind of flat
5 7 2 A mimetic baboon
5 7 3 A nun's sense of fun
5 7 4 Something fun and relaxing, but a corporation in the Land of Sweatybum owns something that has a similar name, so your alchemical result gets blocked just in case
5 7 5 A huge sense of anticipation. It deflates pretty quickly, though
5 7 6 You made a left-wing dwarf sneeze
5 7 8 You made a right-wing dwarf sneeze
5 7 9 A blast of hot bear. Thankfully it's only a metaphorical bear, escaped from Werner Herzog's imagination
5 7 10 A sense of decorum
5 8 1 A cure for self-importance. Sadly, it doesn't work
5 8 2 A substance that goes away
5 8 3 A Wilhelm scream
5 8 4 The smell of a blacksmith's pants
5 8 5 Home-brewed tsipouro
5 8 6 The smell of a bard's earlobes
5 8 7 An insubstantial substance
5 8 9 Dyspeptic azurite
5 8 10 A terrorcrumpet. It runs away
5 9 1 A nine-dimensional muffin. One of the creatures from the first floor steals it before you can figure out how to eat it
5 9 2 A gas that silently expresses the mystery and joy of doghood
5 9 3 Cheddar
5 9 4 An auberjonois. It's like an aubergine, but gruffer
5 9 5 A weird potion
5 9 6 A poststructuralist substance. It tries to charge you for smelling its noxious fumes. Down the drain it goes
5 9 7 A substance that tastes of nebulae
5 9 8 A substance called Greg. It's nice
5 9 10 A sense of relief
5 10 1 You're not sure what you created, but it's fabulous
5 10 2 A potion, but it seems kind of flat
5 10 3 The smell of fuliginberries
5 10 4 A weird potion
5 10 5 Liquid Finger
5 10 6 A sense of excitement!
5 10 7 Whatever this substance you just created may be, it bears a distinct resemblance to the nipple-fluid of the flobular grossopotamus
5 10 8 A substance that has grown beyond the concept of attachment. It dissolves
5 10 9 You! Created! Exclamation! Marks!