"#72 +(8006)- [X]<reptile-> The first time hypr opened a box of Cheerios and looked inside he yelled, "OH WOW! DONUT SEEDS!"

<hypr> wtf are donut seeds
#518 +(98)- [X]<CrazyDe> did I tell u what I got this girl for christmas?

<CrazyDe> I got her lingerie in 1 box

<CrazyDe> and I put before

<CrazyDe> and in another box

<CrazyDe> I put pajamas in there

<CrazyDe> and put after
#781 +(303)- [X]<D1> mp3[01 - s~1] [1m47s/1.23mb/96kbps]

<D1> arg

<D1> i need one of those mp3 name thingies
#3385 +(141)- [X]<crums|zzz> i love my bed

<crums|zzz> still need to christen it...grrr
#4207 +(281)- [X]<eldeesux0r> i used to think lysol was a lice repellent

<eldeesux0r> one day i sprayed it in my hair before i went to school cuz they were doing lice checks

<eldeesux0r> i got a rash :|
#4445 +(214)- [X]<K0ffing> you should Photoshop Raz ... I'll give you a dollar if you can make his face look less like a butt
#6747 +(113)- [X]<jc> I want photos!

<succubus> jc, i want doesnt get

<jc> I want photos PLEASE!
#6983 +(310)- [X]<unlord> you are now talking to a man who owns a piece of furniture for the express purpose of sleeping on it

<Animix> oooooooooooh

<Animix> can I have your autograph
#7533 +(39)- [X]<yunicus> i like fat black women filled with syrup
#7877 +(481)- [X]<craving> I had a great dream last night. I was a servant of Satan, and in return for my services he had given me this enormouse house on the side of a mountain. It had a big balcony and a great bookshelf. I was a little nervous, though, because He had eaten my predecessor alive.
#8066 +(151)- [X]<ItaLiaNStaLLioN> hey i deleted internet explorer by accident and now i need a browser asap, could some1 send me it plz
#8504 +(586)- [X]<dr_rotcod> my poo was white again. this cannot go on
#9347 +(667)- [X][02:18:04] s7ank: i want to be one of those guys that types

"s/j&jd//.^$ueu*///djsls/sm."

and it's a perl script that turns dog crap into gold.
#16409 +(407)- [X]<Never> Okay, I'm not really going to be a novelist, it just sounds a lot better than "autistic ♥♥♥♥♥♥ constantly lost in own fantasy world"
#16921 +(212)- [X]<[11]HannyArZ> hello, where can i buy chanserv?  I will trade warez for it
#23119 +(685)- [X]<Denyerec> Welcome to Britain, the USA's largest non-nuclear aircraft carrier!
#28496 +(341)- [X]*** Quits: amyafk (africhot@vw-12506.bigpond.net.au) (Exit: Faith is the bird that feels the light and sings when the dawn isstill dark!)

<jm> Karma is the bird that ♥♥♥♥♥ on your car after you wash it from doing donuts on the local church's front lawn
#31291 +(338)- [X]<Stuntman21> DRUM

<Stuntman21> You're FIRED!

<Drum-Comicking> What?

* Drum-Comicking clears out his desk

<Stuntman21> You're fired. I want you out today.

* Drum-Comicking (~Drum@dork-63960.tamqfl1.dsl-verizon.net) Quit (Quit: )

<Stuntman21> XD

<Stuntman21> Oh ♥♥♥♥

<Stuntman21> >_<

* Project (~MasterKin@65.80.22.dork-26842) Quit (Ping timeout)

<Six|Hyper> .......

<Stuntman21> Great now everyone is going on strike! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ unions!
#34527 +(139)- [X]<IRON> I have the match of Brithish Bulldog vs Own hart in germany

<KrazyIvan> how'd you get so lucky?

<KrazyIvan> I've always wanted to download videos of men in tight lycra pretending to slap each other
#36895 +(178)- [X]<Nev> I heard a ♥♥♥♥ is like 1/10 an orgasm

<Valvados> So theoretically

<Valvados> If I wank

<Valvados> I won't have to ♥♥♥♥ for two weeks
#36921 +(463)- [X]Finque: i always tell a girl when i ♥♥♥

Finque: one time i didn't

Finque: let's just say she bites

Finque: she had specifically told me she wasn't going to take it in her mouth

Finque: i was like "yeah right ♥♥♥♥♥"

Finque: so i ♥♥♥, she chokes, swallows, smile at me

Finque: and bites

tom: wtf

Finque: so i said sorry and that i'd make it up through cunnilingus

Finque: i got her good and horney

Finque: and bit her clit like it was a hot dog
#37161 +(45)- [X]<saxxonpike> The goal of war is not to die for your country, it's to make the other bastard die for his
#40520 +(604)- [X]<Nate> i have a big problem suddenly

<Nate> i just went to scratch myself

<Nate> had superglue on my hand and didn't realize it

<Nate> my left hand is now superglued somewhere very bad

<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Remember, twisting motions will overstress the glue, hopefully before it overstresses you.

Weirdo_God_of_Insanity is suddenly GLAD he cannot see Nate right now.

<Nate> .......

<Nate> oh god

<Nate> that hurt..

<Nate> cccc

<Nate> cccc

<Nate> dammit

<Nate> my fingers now glued to the c key

<Weirdo_God_of_Insanity> Well, that's gotta be an improvement, really.
#56375 +(66)- [X]<syk|Fox> and this green peace guy comes up to us and tells us how bad oil companies and ♥♥♥♥ are

<syk|Fox> then laura turns around looks him square in the face and tells him her dad owns an oil company

<syk|Fox> the guy ran off like she had aids or something

<Lid> fox ur mean.

<Lid> u should've covered him in oil and lit him up like a chiristmas tree
#69383 +(495)- [X]<bad_carpet> false alarm

<bad_carpet> My uncle wouldn't care if I was IRCing

<bad_carpet> I'm just embarrased.

<bad_carpet> to be found doing so

<bad_carpet> Imagine what they'd think if they knew a 25 year old man calling himself bad_carpet was talking to a 19 year old man calling himself, 'muffin'
#70054 +(303)- [X](@tgitm): I still think its funny when girls say "size doesn't matter"

(@tgitm): if that's the case, why are dildos never small but beautiful?
#75173 +(453)- [X]*** Parts: Moses
#75966 +(63)- [X]<dbnmale20> i dont believe in beatles ... i just believe in me.

<dbnmale20> John lennon ;)

<k-lee> ok fair enough

<k-lee> but hes gonna die soon isnt he then wat??/
#80868 +(120)- [X]<OZ-Cpt-Slade|collegeboy> broadband is sweet, its like sex just faster
#82147 +(-53)- [X]<Celtic> I can lick my own balls.
#99796 +(1)- [X]<Bizznatch> my ♥♥♥♥ is 3 inches long

<chris> thats small.

<DrunkenMaster> sad

<Bizznatch> yus

<deathazre> chris: not for a 3 year old

<Bizznatch> death

<chris> ...

<Bizznatch> so you look at 3 year old's ♥♥♥♥♥ every once in a while

<chris> :D

* deathazre has quit IRC (Quit: )

<Bizznatch> THE TRUTH HURTS

<Bizznatch> ...

<Bizznatch> :P

<incubus_chick> o.O
#102012 +(336)- [X]<DoctorRiff> man PETA is awesome, hours of entertainment at the cost of one dead rabbit
#124554 +(529)- [X]<infamous>my old man always said, the day I cant do my job drunk is the day I turn in my badge and gun...
#134835 +(1151)- [X]<@maddox> hehe.. man, Norton Antivirus sucks. All it does it bog everything down, I clicked on the "optimize my computer" setting and it just uninstalled itself.
#139075 +(-9)- [X]<E_Kewl-i> Why dose the bottom of bash.org have all ♥♥♥♥♥♥ jokes?

<Termite> they go by economical status
#164580 +(449)- [X]<PufPufPaz> hugo: you were kidding about marrying a 19/f/ca right?

<hugo> PufPufPaz: Um.. actually, no, and she's a bisexual vegetarian pagan to boot.

<hugo> My life is weird.

<PufPufPaz> hugo: sounds more interesting than weird.

<hugo> PufPufPaz: May I /msg you? It's complicated. :)

<PufPufPaz> hugo: yeh hope is not for heart related matters, i suck at that

<hugo> Nah, it's just that I met Kate in a chat-room

<hugo> and now she's sitting 10 feet away and we sometimes go into the same chat room and chat w/ everyone.

<PufPufPaz> whats wrong with that?

* hugo smiles

<hugo> My wife is doing an impression of 2 parrots having sex.

* hugo shudders

<hugo> brb

<steltek> Is she involving you in that emulation? If not, you shoul"