"#356 +(894)- [X]<Rapture> Tsk, it's [new processors] as bad as penis comparisons, really.

<rejs> but penises don't double in performance every 18 months...
#513 +(660)- [X]<goh`> in my system.ini i'll change 'Shell=Explorer.exe' to 'Shell=quake2.exe'
#4397 +(274)- [X]<Sassy> if the GC ends up sucking, i will start calling it the LameCube and reap the benefits of my witticisms
#4874 +(958)- [X]<gee-> i stole a 5 dollar pen from officemax and it didnt work

<homieC> your dad stole a 5 dollar condom from a 7-11 and it didnt work
#5443 +(757)- [X]<Goku> :O

<kepler> hold that face goku

*kepler unzips

*aegis runs away
#6441 +(10085)- [X]<Zanthis(ALE)> AFK, tornado
#6762 +(392)- [X]<Elementl1> In all seriousness, I am currently looking for some warez at the moment.

<Elementl1> I would like a Vigilante 8 ROM for the Nintendo 64.

<Mulet> I'm usually not here this early. do we have an AOL hour?
#7638 +(232)- [X]<com4> PMMe: they're talking about archers retardo

<PMMeWhenServerWorksPlease> i know!

<PMMeWhenServerWorksPlease> and im not a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ com

<com4> i didn't say that

<com4> i said you were retardo.. protector of the weak.. and stupid .. and humper of legs
#8102 +(11040)- [X]<glome> Who stole the cookie from the cookie jar?!

<content> glome stole the cookie from the cookie jar!

<glome> Who me?!

<content> Yes you!

<glome> Couldn't be!

<content> Then WHO?!!

<glome> Woody stole the cookie from the cookie jar!

*** glome has been kicked by DrWoody (♥♥♥♥ you i didn't touch the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cookie, ♥♥♥♥♥)
#8309 +(398)- [X]<Xunil96> because i have a metric ass-ton of perl to write

<Dr_V> would a metric ass have 10 cheeks?
#9027 +(716)- [X]<Syncope> kris's birth certificate was an apology letter from the abortion clinic
#11139 +(265)- [X]<JigglyHandle> Who's the cockless drunk running my ISP?!

<K-Ecchi> You called?
#11613 +(844)- [X]<\slick> 3d studio max install told me to close all program when installing, so i just opened more to be defiant

<\slick> take that
#15905 +(1121)- [X](juslooken) i looked at the bouncer and said 'u dont need to see my id'

(juslooken) and he said 'i dont need to see your id

(juslooken) it was very jedi
#16266 +(153)- [X](dx) i once ordered sears siding for the condo complex across the street

(dx) they showed up

(dx) and knocked on the first condo

(dx) and the dude called the landlord

(dx) and he comes out

(dx) and starts screaming at them

(dx) sears calls me back and asks whats wrong and i told them i had no idea what they were talking aboit

(dx) sears never called me again

(dx) :)
#20007 +(365)- [X]* +Dejiko_nyo modded his toaster

<+Vassago> you can play burned pop tarts on it now?
#20305 +(119)- [X]<sara> i <3'ed george michael

<sara> till

<sara> he started wearing his goatee like satan

<[pele]> till he started sucking ♥♥♥♥ in bathrooms

<[pele]> oh

<[pele]> that too
#22426 +(173)- [X]<j63}{Justin> does anyone here have a mom that calls you every minute for every little thing to the point where you hate your name so much you wish you could just have a blank space where your name was so she couldn't call you or somethin so long it would take a hour to say it
#34011 +(209)- [X]<AdamH> There are 10 kinds of people when it comes to binary. Those who understand it, and those who don't.

* AdamH rimshits

<AdamH> RIMSHOTS!

<DL> Heheheheh.

<DL> Sorry, Adam, two of those "heh"s were at the joke. The rest were at rimshits. :-P
#34278 +(144)- [X]<@mr_zap> kinda like some toilet seat incident I know about

<@Glenn> hahaha

<@Glenn> i went to the loo at kents place

<@Glenn> forgot about the toilet seat

<@Glenn> and i was like

<@Glenn> ♥♥♥♥ your toilets uncomfortable

<@Glenn> and hes like, well, u gotta put the seat down
#35163 +(232)- [X][+escobar] just found out my grandma watches porn

[+escobar] something is serious wrong in the world
#37673 +(355)- [X]<Relioc> hmm wheres russia now

<@maximus`> still next to china
#46079 +(191)- [X]<freestyle> whats rhe best site 4 soccer transfers???

<|-|00PsTa> www.metco.com

<freestyle> metco?

<|-|00PsTa> freestyle: movements euro transfers co operation

<freestyle> thanks!

<freestyle> DR. BROSS PROFESSIONAL COMPLETE

<freestyle> PENIS ENLARGEMENT SYSTEM

<freestyle> ♥♥♥♥ YOU U GAY FREAK!
#47403 +(621)- [X]<Shivaway> sue me im bored ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

<mmx> eat a ♥♥♥♥? :(

<Shivaway> no thx

<Shivaway> im on a no ♥♥♥♥ diet, i hear it goes straight to your ass
#48306 +(-70)- [X]<Futility>  ...George Harrison? He died or something?

<Rufus>  Yeah.

<Rufus>  Throat cancer, or something

<Munin>  APPARENTLY, SEMEN IS CARCINOGENIC!
#53525 +(195)- [X]<Coogaar> “You really can’t mince around with these TiVos, Todd. If you wanted to turn on a machine and have it tell you you were gay all the time, you would just play Counter-Strike online.”
#58443 +(404)- [X]* SilverH|Work is now known as SilverHorse

<SilverHorse> OMFG

<SilverHorse> I HELD MY DAMN DIAHREA ALL DAMN DAY

<SilverHorse> THEN I JUST GOT HOME

<SilverHorse> IT WAS LIKE ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ HIROSHIMA

<SilverHorse> I mean jesus

<SilverHorse> you could hear the splash across the house

<SilverHorse> it literally covered the entire surface area of my ass

<SilverHorse> japanese people died when I let it go
#58732 +(333)- [X]<dreawn> I found out earlier today from an ex-AF friend of mine that a gallon

          of prize winning bull semen sells for 10 L

<dreawn> err 10 K

<dreawn> so I've taken up a new occupation and double life as a semen rustler.

<Marmalade420> so i need is polar bear semen

<Marmalade420> and i can get money

<Marmalade420> all

<dreawn> well, prize-winning bull semen.

<dreawn> you could join my gang of ruthless thugs who steal semen from large

          creatures and try to sell it

<Marmalade420> sure

<dreawn> nothing like fleeing the farm of a north dakota farmer with a gang of

          lawmen chasing you in pickup trucks worrying about spilling some

          bull gravy out of a tin pail

<dreawn> nope, nothing at all.
#64169 +(240)- [X]Mace|brb has quit (COBOL programmers understand why women hate periods.)
#75651 +(379)- [X]KArmA-: telemarketer: yeah, I need to speak to your office manager please(very gruff voice)

KArmA-: me: who the ♥♥♥♥ do you think you're talking to?

KArmA-: telemarketer: are you the office manager?

KArmA-: me: no ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, I said, who do you think you're talking to, with that tone of voice

KArmA-: me: you don't call up and start barking at me like that

KArmA-: telemarketer: well sir I'm sorry but I need to speak to your office manager.

KArmA-: me: for what? he normally doesn't take phone calls for yard apes. . . what do you need to talk to him about that's so special?

KArmA-: telemarketer: !(#*%@ EXCUSE ME?! YARD APE?!?! WHAT IS YOUR NAME!?!?

KArmA-: me: *click*
#76608 +(85)- [X]<sobek|afk> you know its gunna be a good day when you dont even bother putting on any clothes, just throw a dressing gown over the towel and think about getting high
#85953 +(-14)- [X]<SaberRider> Yoss, you might be an IRC Adict if you sneak to the computer in the middle of the night to get in more IRC time.
#89689 +(369)- [X]* JimmytheCow looks over at his linux box.

<JimmytheCow> or run 2 pc's

* Wiecker[DAMIT] looks over at his linux box.

<Wiecker[DAMIT]> Hmm..that's strange, never had a linux box there before.

<Wiecker[DAMIT]> Never had a linux box period.

* Wiecker[DAMIT] examines the box.

<Wiecker[DAMIT]> Hmm...looks like a refrigerator.
#106581 +(309)- [X]<Mog> NECROPHILIA IS SICK AND TWIS"