"#124 +(429)- [X]<FuNGiSiDE> is xxdethxx givin out instructions to make that portable pocket ♥♥♥♥♥ again
#445 +(1138)- [X]<ck2k> i tap her car's bumper

<ck2k> and she has this estimate

<ck2k> 200 bucks

<ck2k> ♥♥♥♥ you

<ck2k> for 200 bucks i can hire someone to kill your ♥♥♥♥♥ ass
#709 +(727)- [X]<|Chris> how many straight edge kids does it take to drink a six pack?

<|Chris> 1, if no one's looking
#1716 +(94)- [X]<occifer> my penis was fat

<occifer> not to long ago

<occifer> so i employed a well known chineese remedy

<occifer> you simple tug and pull at it for a couple of minutes
#2090 +(87)- [X]<DMC[hi]> where just before you go to bed, you put on a suite and ♥♥♥♥, and look in the mirror and kinda jerk off a little then, go to sleep?
#2910 +(86)- [X]<Berzerker> like one time i ♥♥♥♥ on a bench in my school playground 

<Berzerker> and like it smelt so bad 

<Berzerker> and i covered it with playground gravel 

<Berzerker> and like when the cafeteria aid came the next day she cleared it off with her hand 

<Berzerker> and like 

<Berzerker> poop!
#7383 +(253)- [X]<Pho> the only fun Ive had with linux was formatting it
#8499 +(245)- [X]<Tippytoes> i have kids in the room

<Tippytoes> is it safe to look at?

<bark> i don't think they mention any words like ♥♥♥♥ on that page, no

<tm> just hide it behind your anal porn
#9462 +(33)- [X]<F|ashboy> im on a cable so how do i packet them

<F|ashboy> is cable a fast connection
#10075 +(1486)- [X]<Vic> You there X?

<X> no

<X> ♥♥♥♥
#10746 +(309)- [X]<Cuban Atlas> See, Zeir, FD is smart..He ops himself the moment he enters

<FD> This way I can abuse the power faster

<Polo> That's the American way

<FD> Damn right
#11117 +(445)- [X]<@puto|^_...> i went in the restroom to take a piss

<@puto|^_...> then my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ shorts snuck out of my reach

<@puto|^_...> and ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ snapped my penis up while pissing

<@puto|^_...> ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ pissed everywhere and on myself
#11530 +(-58)- [X]<GI_Clutch> I made a mixture of BBQ sauce and water and put it in a spray bottle.  I sprayed a few cats.  They were swarming with flies and other bugs only a few minutes later.  It was pretty funny.
#14287 +(737)- [X]<fireside> ♥♥♥ is teh nasty

<died_in_sleep> and you know this how?

<fireside> ive (accidently) and unfortuntly licked some

<died_in_sleep> you shouldt know those things, unless your dad rapes you :/

<fireside> i can ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥♥

<dragondyne> how is that possible?

<fireside> um

<fireside> it comes out... on finger... i put finger in mouth, it taste bad

<dragondyne> ...

<dragondyne> I thought you said "accidently"

<fireside> I WAS HORNY GIVE ME A DAMN BREAK :(
#15508 +(296)- [X]<fff> back when my ancestors were apes, they were better than your ancestor apes

<fff> my ape ancestors had richer culture than your ape ancestors

<fff> although when our ancestors were amoeba, i'll concede your amoeba ancestors were smarter than mine
#20309 +(3)- [X]<frash> STFU you candy coating lil spin doctor
#20446 +(172)- [X]<freedumb> When i was like 8 my dad tried to teach me to count cards in blackjack

<freedumb> for when im 'of legal age'
#20696 +(735)- [X]<Rasix> I like tits and I don't want anything rammed up my ass nor do I want a ♥♥♥♥ in my mouth. I'd say that makes me hetero.

<Rodent> Heh.

<SirBruce> Honesty is the best policy

<SirBruce> Rasix - What about your ♥♥♥♥ in someone else's mouth?

<NephKa> jesus

<Rodent> Well, I for one don't belive Bi is the natural state.

<Rasix> Female, yes, man no.

<@Technogeek> Hey, if I'm getting a blowjob, I don't care who it's from as long as they don't bite it off.

<SirBruce> But blindfolded you wouldn't know the difference

<NephKa> i care, it has to be a chick

<Rodent> Unless you felt a beard by the balls.

<NephKa> lol

<SirBruce> Only because you've been trained that way by society.

<Rasix> that's not an issue, when the ♥♥♥♥ would I stand around blind folded waiting for a blowjob
#22518 +(50)- [X]<psyk> Axl Rose is an idiot with the voice of a ten-year-old girl choking to death on a brillo pad
#30380 +(828)- [X]<Rage> Best pickup line ever is "Hey, does this smell like chloroform?"
#43724 +(627)- [X]<Pi> Violence solves everything.

<Pi> If you have a problem that violence doesn't solve, then you're not using enough of it.
#45913 +(226)- [X]<@DocGonzo> yeh, my gf + monitor was 109lbs

<@DocGonzo> and it wasnt even trinitron

<usunoro> your gf weighs like 60lb?

<usunoro> she's TINY

<@DocGonzo> er, i mean g4
#46640 +(89)- [X]<Udeth> i ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ HATE counterstrike-players

<Udeth> i hope they all die.

<Udeth> irl
#48331 +(174)- [X]<@sniper_cs> where do you live?

<@sniper_cs> I can burn + send it

<@sniper_cs> maybe

<bobbles> about 3 metres from adsl area

<@sniper_cs> roflmao

<@sniper_cs> ouch

<bobbles> i lived here for like 8 years

<bobbles> then they finally bring adsl

<bobbles> and it stops 3 houses away

<BenZor> hahaha
#59336 +(337)- [X]<|404notfound> My friend, who was new to online gaming, complained to me about a 30 ping.

<donotdisturb> LOL

<|404notfound> But that's not all. His question to me was:

<|404notfound> "Why won't it go any higher?"
#64166 +(2)- [X]<imbezol> one thing about dvorak though... you never make typos because you're watching the screen all the time and never the keyboard
#76360 +(97)- [X]<PEAKIN`BUZZIN> Any girl interested in 32 Year old, bald male, with generous love handles -------> msg me
#98014 +(638)- [X]<Gil_AFK> i hate stuff that works for ages without probs and suddenly dies without a single error message or anything.

<ElctroJkr> like senior citizens
#102188 +(528)- [X]< CausaSui> So I was showing a coworker bsd, and explaining flags, and speficically the schg flag

< CausaSui> And to give him an example that even root can't delete schg flagged stuff, I tried rm /kernel

< CausaSui> But it turns out that, for some reason, on fresh installs of 4.8, none of the kernels are flagged schg
#106679 +(429)- [X]<college^boy> hey

<college^boy> asl?

<phoxie17> 43/m/prison

<college^boy> seriouslly?
#114988 +(1085)- [X](@zany-) omg, I can hear my mom masturbating :l

(@NpZ^) Ahaha

(@zany-) wai... she doesn't think I'm home

(@zany-) brb

(@zany-) great now I'm grounded

(@NpZ^) HAHA :D
#154064 +(961)- [X]<DetectiveThorn> I don't know if I want to buy this laptop on ebay.  It was "REARELY USED."

<lerpiedood> lmao
#166920 +(1381)- [X]<MightyBlueJustice> I need to jack a hole in this floor so I can get the internet hooked up to the comp in the basement.

<MightyBlueJustice> I need more power tools

<MKDemon> You don't have a drill?

<MightyBlueJustice> We do somewhere.

<MightyBlueJustice> All I can find is a power sander and I just don't have that kind of time.
#215287 +(391)- [X]<djlaptop> could God write a program that's so intensive that his cpu couldn't run it?
#238880 +(1468)- [X]<LexMortis> have i told you about a dream i had?

<LexMortis> a lion attacked me

<LexMortis> and bit off my finger

<LexMortis> after the fight n all was over

<LexMortis> i looked at my hands

<LexMortis> and went like "great, now i can only count to 9"

<LexMortis> even my unconsciousness is retarded =
#254361 +(1423)- [X]<RizBow[RF]> winmx if the song is popular (you can download same song from multiple people simontaneously) , soulseek if its rare

<maddox> I get my mp3s from the store.. it's pretty nice, they already have them burned on CD and they come with cases and booklets.

<RizBow[RF]> maddox: where?
#296099 +(-1)- [X]Sonsquidku: You know how peop"