"#670 +(578)- [X]<Johnno> wouldnt it be cool if there was a cow that had a door on it's side, that when you opened it up, it produced nummmy pie

<wonko> that's a good idea! hold on while I round up some venture capital...
#887 +(344)- [X]<blazemore> don't make me press nine limp inches against your forehead and leave a sweaty red mark from the moist underside

<Nikki> sorry
#1540 +(384)- [X]<fastahj7> what's the difference between the usa DC lightgun and the euro one

<smcn> the usa one has a "shoot up your school" button
#1555 +(348)- [X]<ckx> i'm not gay

<ckx> i just like to see people ♥♥♥♥

<ckx> even if they're guys
#5514 +(205)- [X][Lord-Data] damn. wish gdivx had brought me girls instead of fame and money
#6426 +(519)- [X]<BadlandZ> So, what's new, where are the bots?

<Sprout> they are eating lunch

<BadlandZ> heh.. together?

<Sprout> do you ever see bots eating with people?
#7079 +(300)- [X]<DocWebstr> Okay... a couple of things before I very literally go pass out....

<Mycroft> If it's about Soylent Green, we already know. :)
#8305 +(1373)- [X]<Saber> just when I manage to convince myself I'm a superior being, I walk into a door
#8832 +(447)- [X]mike > What do they send you if you send those penis enlargement companies some money?

mike > "No pill, no pumps. Simple exercises you can do at home.". I have a feeling I am probably already doing whatever it is.
#10868 +(123)- [X]<SimonB> .se servers have been quite stable lately

<luna_s> ok so swedish servers are the best ok ok ok

<SimonB> I like webgiro

<luna_s> demons fine most of the time

<luna_s> until a pissed up engineer spills his can on a router

<SimonB> :D

<SimonB> until? its more of a rule than an exception
#11014 +(235)- [X]<PreZ> u'd think I'd dream about britney spears, or christina ricci, or something

<PreZ> but nooooo

<PreZ> I dream I'm on IRC in #aussies

<PreZ> *sigh*

<goombah> wake up prez.. your having a hard disk crash
#11715 +(261)- [X]<Yogurt> Action Half-Life - "To counter Action Quake 2's speed and fun, we've included slow gameplay and the ability to fall down on purpose."
#14359 +(182)- [X]<^_-> ♥♥♥♥ SMELLS LIKE PICKLES.

<^_-> PARTIALLY BECAUSE OF THE DRIED SEMEN.

<Funk> My dried semen doesn't smell like pickles

<Funk> :/

<Funk> It smells like bleach

<^_-> THAT'S WHAT MINE SMELLS LIKE WHEN IT'S WET

<^_-> IT'S LIKE BLEACHY-CHLORINE

<Funk> That was my excuse for jacking off in the swimming pool

<Funk> "But I thought it would make the pool cleaner :( :( :("

<wildkarrdex> THAT WAS YOUR COURT DEFENCE?

<wildkarrdex> YOU COULD HAVE CLAIMED IT WAS AN INVOLUNTARY SPASM

<Funk> An involuntary spasm that made me hold a 6 year old underneath me for the duration?
#14374 +(267)- [X]<@jaffy> how the ♥♥♥♥ does my moniter get so dirty, its like some ♥♥♥♥ eats his meals off it while im asleep
#15941 +(56)- [X]<|^V^|Grim_Reaper> sorry but im exstreamly intelagent and i have a ♥♥♥♥ and my g/f happens to be scard of it
#17725 +(1008)- [X]<prok> still living at home :/

<nug> living at home is cool and all, but it sucks to kick a ♥♥♥♥♥ out in the morning and she walks past my parents on the way out

<p0ng_> ♥♥♥♥ that, i'm loving with my dad till he moves

<prok> BEST TYPO EVER
#18288 +(284)- [X]<drunkers> is your real name gabe?

<Gabe-33> yes

<drunker> ever concider killing your parents with a shovel?

<Gabe-33> no
#18486 +(196)- [X]* jitspoe feels fembot... fuzzy

* Fembot shaved

<jitspoe> not there you didn't
#21418 +(103)- [X](h0va) i could fill any IT job now.. and do well.. from my home computer

    experiance.. but i would never get hired cuz i have no credentials

(cranky) h0va: dude you couldn't fill a toilet bowl
#22035 +(-100)- [X]<BeavisNuke>  I keep all my semen in a plastic milk gallon jug and spread it on my face every morning.
#29529 +(485)- [X]<Drizuid> what operating system does linux run on?
#34362 +(251)- [X]<daenonok> you gotta be like

<daenonok> "OW!!! PENIS CRAMP!! owie owie owie"

<daenonok> then ask her to rub it for you :P
#37540 +(214)- [X]<Rossell> saw this boy I knew today

<Rossell> and I had a startling realisation he was actually a she!

<Rossell> so for 2 years I was believeing that this girl was a boy.

<Rossell> so that answers my query about her putting perfume on
#40522 +(468)- [X]<ratsun> damnit i started a smallbox game but nobody came on the field so i exited and now i cant get in

<ratsun> what to do?

<super-radish> reboot

<ratsun> the computer?

<super-radish> no, i mean take your shoes off and put them back on

<ratsun> i'm not wearing shoes.....
#42382 +(645)- [X]<Supachikn> Demigoat, you and i are onthe same wavelength

<Supachikn> or at least frequency

<Demigoat> if you and I were ethernet cards attached to a hub our frames would never collide!

<Supachikn> if you and i were polarised light waves we'd be ♥♥♥♥♥♥ lazer beams!

<Demigoat> Turtles, The - So Happy Together.mp3

<Demigoat> I <3 supa

<Supachikn> i less than three you too, demi
#45131 +(159)- [X]<DarQ> Just think about it... Who would know better how to please a man ? A man or a woman ?

<Sway> damn right

<Sway> a man

<Sway> a rough and hairy man

<Sultan> Your sick, lol

<DarQ> That's not sick...

<DarQ> That's being realistic.
#46250 +(217)- [X]* phx^mod looks at isolan thermal management tray

<phx^mod> this looks like some serious cooling potential ;)



[some time later]



<phx^mod> ow

<phx^mod> its got serious finger removal potential too :/
#47600 +(31)- [X]<ChineseElite> dirty is a fsking prono in itself

<ChineseElite> ahh ♥♥♥♥ ive been on net too long.. i just said prono
#51089 +(336)- [X]<dakonis> i think you should have to pass a test to be able to use a keyboard with a capslock key
#51104 +(107)- [X]<CoRDWoRK> i know everything your thinking ... you dirty bastard ;)

<Tarrasque> why else do you think the cat is sleeping on my lap?

<CoRDWoRK> to get the mouse outa ya ass?

<Tarrasque> no, because i get no other ♥♥♥♥♥ this close.
#53320 +(305)- [X]<RedRabbit> guys does os/2 mean only half an operating system ?
#86957 +(722)- [X]«TheCulter» guys: two people, /nick and /quit are on a boat. /nick falls off the boat. who's left on the boat?

(@Makenshi`) /quit

(@Makenshi`) duh
#89420 +(356)- [X]Cyber J: I've always known my parents hated me, after all... my first toys were a pair of scissors and running shoes...
#96093 +(481)- [X]<calen> otyd gimd yp yu[r eoyj upit gomhrtd pm yjr etpmh lrud

<Last> FINGERS ON HOME ROW PLZ
#106912 +(731)- [X]<DJ> I like riding my dog after rain. Rain makes her frisky, so she's faster.

<DJ> ...riding my dog around the block.

<DJ> ...on a bike

<Jinjo_Eagle> ...

<DJ> Because it's faster, and she can keep up easier when she's frisky

<DJ> That first line came out all wrong

<Jinjo_Eagle> You can't make that look better.

<Jinjo_Eagle> Yes, yes it did, and there is nothing you can do about it.

<DJ> I don't walk my dog, I have the leash around my wrist as I ride my bike around the block!

<MewMewtwo45> Hehehe

<DJ> And my dog gets hyper after it has rained!

<Jinjo_Eagle> Okay, sure.

<DJ> :(

* Jinjo_Eagle pats DJ on the back
#119924 +(198)- [X]<@rs> i just told someone to not hide the ichat-av vu meter under another window as it would muffle his voice
#146062 +(90)- [X]<Calisa> When you went to the IKEA in Pittsburgh, what was the service like?

<Bubbaprog> the pitt store is great

<Bubbaprog> eat some swedish balls while you're there
#166329 +(676)- [X]<Anarky> What's the best thing about twenty-eight-year-olds?

<T"