"#155 +(526)- [X]<Eggo> invent a new kind of tolet paper, reusible or edible
#394 +(717)- [X]<blazemore> i hate when you're trying to own someone

<blazemore> and then you own yourself
#1249 +(148)- [X]<shadowrye> okay

<shadowrye> who wants a box

<|Raven|> i do

<shadowrye> good

<shadowrye> now

<shadowrye> who wants to pay for a colo

<|Raven|> i don't
#1306 +(393)- [X](nexxai) holy ♥♥♥♥...I was just reading a ton of IRC quotes, then got up, and it was like I entered a new dimension

(nexxai) reality.....it's weirder than you think.
#3143 +(190)- [X]* soya-88 squeezes your ♥♥♥♥.

* Tim_K makes sure it's loaded.
#4839 +(460)- [X]<Soronel> Just so everyone knows, if a life suddenly appears, I have dibs

<Soronel> I'm not likely to get one otherwise
#6198 +(60)- [X]<signine:#916> is that the one with the old people that have huge mouths that blow people the ♥♥♥♥ up?
#6646 +(296)- [X]<rewben> we are not perverts ;p

<akiron> speak for youself ;)
#8059 +(685)- [X]<Electroly> kurros has a l33t ass projector, I saw a picture of it just once

              and I've been drooling ever since

<T-ball> nice...

<T-ball> I don't have room for a projector... :/

<Brazilian> I have a monkey who draws on my wall really fast
#8409 +(244)- [X]<mindlace> i ate a pig that had probably been tortured its entire life before finally being put out of its misery in a festering pile of its screaming kin.

<space> i mean, part of the fun of having a pet is being able to interact with it
#8593 +(107)- [X](nathan) weird.  my dsl works better as long as i'm constantly pinging the server

(nathan) as soon as i stop pinging one direction or the other, it blocks up

(nathan) like a bad bowel movement
#10422 +(173)- [X]<nwinter> i am the king of EXCEL.

<nwinter> kinda.

<nwinter> i used staroffice to make an excel document.

<nwinter> and learn how to make a spreadsheet in the process.

<Lacroix> i bow to your mastery :)

<nwinter> i am now THAT MUCH MORE of a marketable unix admin!

<nwinter> what does all of this mean?

<nwinter> my boss is a ♥♥♥♥♥♥.
#10774 +(1900)- [X]<guyen> so she gets pulled over, and as the bike cop walks up to her, she asks "are you going to at least try to sell me a ticket to the highway patrolmen's ball?"

<guyen> then the cop goes "highway patrolmen don't have balls, ma'am"

<guyen> and she busts out laughing, he finally gets it and just turns around, gets on his bike, and rides away without another word

<guyen> she just sits in her car laughing for like five minutes before she starts her car again

<guyen> ♥♥♥♥, if i'd try to say something like that he would have gone LAPD on my ass
#11225 +(119)- [X]* pygmy fires up excel

[@pygmy] or not

[@pygmy] I'd need it installed to do that :)
#13370 +(484)- [X]<HuStLe> Today I was was flirting with this hot girl in the halls after school but once again my computer screwed me over

<Netminder> How so?

<HuStLe> Well I was gettin far with her, then she me a secret about her and her ex, I went to laugh, but guess what came out.

<HuStLe> Me - "Laugh out Loud", I actually said laugh out loud. :(
#14448 +(328)- [X]<@harb> Andy: 01:16 < Danelope> http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view.php?id=30319

<@kitten> JESUS ♥♥♥♥

<@kitten> THERE ARE NOW SEVEN ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ POPUP WINDOWS

<@harb> Oh yeah.

<@harb> Andy uses IE.

<@harb> Sorry about that.

< Danelope> Hahaha.

< Danelope> IE is for cocksksksk.

<@harb> <cypher> I don't even see the popups anymore.

<@harb> <cypher> Just blonde. Brunette. Redhead.

< Danelope> <cypher> Just viagra, penis enlargement, 581% more ♥♥♥.
#21983 +(389)- [X](tobyl) It's damn hard to schedule these things, and we're hitting major plot.

(tobyl) Not to mention my character just went up two levels.

(Fetch) wow

(Fetch) what'd you kill?

(Sancho) the DM
#23563 +(623)- [X]<@freshmint> How do you get a goth out of a tree?

<@freshmint> Cut the rope.
#34002 +(218)- [X]<Teegus> i should prolly go to sleep soon so i can be awake when my gf gets here. not to mention being at least partially conscious for the whole getting laid part

<Teegus> but... urge to html... so strong

<@Goonigoogoo> no, women love it when you fall asleep on top of them

<@Goonigoogoo> or under them, depending on her sexual positioning preference

<Teegus> its like my inner geek is fighting my hormones

<Teegus> and losing.... quickly
#36468 +(1122)- [X]<Defcon> dude my new microwave owns

<Defcon> you put the foods in and then the time and then start

<Defcon> then beep beep and yum

<ToastyGhost> No ♥♥♥♥, Captain Microwave Handbook
#37127 +(183)- [X]Technogen: weird, my VCR just lost power for no reason...

Technogen: damn ghosts keep turning things off in my house.

Technogen: last thing they turned off was my sex life...
#37736 +(131)- [X](Said in #asian)

<toxictele> God, it feels awesome to drive around the drag in my Supra, flex my huge muscles and wave to other white people.
#40507 +(263)- [X]* Siren changes topic to 'Is it considered oral sex if my pc goes down on me???'
#42948 +(84)- [X]<Gnetic> I searched for need for speed and I got this ===JJJJ==D~~~....what do i do with that???

<Gnetic> is that like a binary code or something ??

<Resi0> its a ♥♥♥♥

<Resi0> jesus man, i wouldnt wanna be you when ure in the bath if you cant see that...
#55614 +(371)- [X]<SonicBlues> man, don't shove vibrators up your ass if your a guy man. I was trying to milk my prostate y'know, damnit, I guess the vibrator was too much for me.

<SonicBlues> get this, i slide the dildo up my but, smothered with ky jelly yeah? I flip it on, and I start stroking.

<DrQ> this cant end up well....

<SonicBlues> now, i'm in front of a TV, about 3.5 meters away from me, compensate about .25 meters for the diagonal. But man, i start strokng, and maybe 8 minutes later, i get this surging pain from my nuts and i shoot the silver bullet all the way to the tv man. christ.

<DrQ> conrgatulations

<Thrifty> Hahahahah ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ man

<SonicBlues> yeah, the problem is, I came onto irc to tell you all, my girlfriend stepped in...
#72927 +(658)- [X]<Mullet_Man> its so retarded when people r trying to type lots of !!!'s

<Mullet_Man> there all like "yeah...im so cool!!1!~1`~!"

<Mullet_Man> i mean, is it really that damned hard to type "!!!!1"
#79171 +(503)- [X]<Jabberwocky> my best friend has been trying to get me together with one of her friends. And I'm headed over there tonight to -NO INNUENDO HERE- install an ethernet card in her laptop.

<Jabberwocky> "Deirdre, I've been meaning to ask you this for a long time - almost from the day I met you. Would you... You know... Like to... Play some multiplayer games?"
#82101 +(32)- [X]<Tempis> go pick up some chick

<Godfather> ¤¤ mp3: [06 - Meat.mp3] ¤¤ [4:03min - 128kbps - 44.1khz] ¤¤

<dithi> i'm trying!

<dithi> it's not that easy, they're stupid but they aren't gullible

<Godfather> true

<Tempis> they arent as gullible as they used to be

<Godfather> but they're still stupid

<dithi> indeed
#82122 +(218)- [X](Billy) i met a porno star

(@dura) so DID I!

(PyRoWaRrIoR) I am a porno star

(PyRoWaRrIoR) I didn't get paid though

(PyRoWaRrIoR) and there was no cameras =/

(PyRoWaRrIoR) it was just me, a sheep, and this guy named fred who SAID he knew my dad and my dad said it was ok

(PyRoWaRrIoR) but I didn't believe him

(PyRoWaRrIoR) and my ass still hurts

(PyRoWaRrIoR) and the worst part is

(PyRoWaRrIoR) he never called or wrote :(
#85252 +(689)- [X]<StmChser> Are you aware of the discovery in the"