1. "What time did the man go to the dentist? Tooth hurt-y."
2. "My dad literally told me this one last week: 'Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.'"
3. "A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a beer. Bartender says, 'Sorry we don't serve food here.'"
4. "Whenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, 'No, just leave it in the carton!'"
5. "Why do chicken coops only have two doors? Because if they had four, they would be chicken sedans!"
6. "Me: 'Dad, make me a sandwich!' Dad: 'Poof, You’re a sandwich!'”
7. "Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water? Because he was a little horse!"
8. "Me: 'Hey, I was thinking…' My dad: 'I thought I smelled something burning.'"
9. "How do you make a Kleenex dance? Put a little boogie in it!"
10. "Two peanuts were walking down the street. One was a salted."
11. "How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it."
12. "Two guys walk into a bar, the third one ducks."
13. "Anytime I do something smart my dad says, 'Wow, you're a fart smella...I mean smart fella!'"
14. "I had a dream that I was a muffler last night. I woke up exhausted!"
15. "How do you tell the difference between a frog and a horny toad? A frog says, 'Ribbit, ribbit' and a horny toad says, 'Rub it, rub it.'"
16. "What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? A ba-na-na-na."
17. "5/4 of people admit that they’re bad with fractions."
18. "A three-legged dog walks into a bar and says to the bartender, 'I'm looking for the man who shot my paw.'"
19. "What's Forrest Gump's password? 1forrest1"
20. "I asked my dad for his best dad joke and he said, 'You.'”
21. "What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta."
22. "Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere."
23. "What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos."
24. ''What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant."
25. "What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho Cheese."
26. "This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there."
27. "What do you call a man with a rubber toe? Roberto."
28. "I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy."
29. "What's brown and sticky? A stick."
30. "Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? It's fine, he woke up."