Recente recensies door Mr. Caber

tekken 7 is better because Jun isn't in it

fun when not playing with wallhackers and aimbotters

TL;DR - I'm bad and impatient so i'm taking to here to whine and blow off steam in a verbose manner. Cool bosses, cool weapons, cool game, bad player, and an even worse sport. Wahhhhh.


A truly beautiful masterwork of FromSoftware, their magnum opus. Despite this being a game brimming with love for design and finely-tuned mechanics, this game made me hate FromSoftware with a vindictive ire that I have yet to feel for any other company. The loathing that I feel when loading this game is akin to going to work, or school, or even just basic yet tedious house chores. Never before or since has a video game made me feel such irksome and fervent irritation. I quite literally, actually feel it under my skin at times. This game makes me feel my blood pressure raise; a sensation not familiar to me since my first time playing Dark Souls 1. I do not consider that a net positive, however I felt it prudent to note. Never before have the impacts of my own minuscule and minute mistakes caused such violent and visceral knee-jerk reactions as when fighting the most basic of enemies or the earliest of roaming-bosses.

Despite all of the aforementioned and highly discouraging information I have listed above, I still play due to some suspected masochistic impulses, self-hateful tendencies, or otherwise straightforward bullheadedness and unshakable stubbornness combined with a need to prove some ability to meet unnecessary and meaningless achievements to myself. As if by completing this quite difficult and punishing video game I will stumble upon some self-actualization through pattern recognition or simple brute-forcing of the situation.

When looking back on my past experience with the rest of this series over the years, I have come to the conclusion that this game is Dark Souls with Bloodborne bosses. I'm sure that this is a common feeling among the community who have come into contact with this purulent heap of enticing suffering. This game feels smooth yet, clunky. It feels open or even free-form, yet air-tight. It feels impactful and all the more so when you mistime a dodge by fractions of a second and die to the most mundane things. I can never get a word in when fighting against bosses, so here are all the words I could think of saying. The exploration is perfected, the weapon system is expansive with options to fit any niche you might want to try. the options for magic are varied and satisfying to those who enjoy such a play-style. And yet... with all these options available to me, being able to travel far and wide to distant lands to power-level and omega-buff my weapon to ♥♥♥♥-all... I still insist on fighting the Tree Sentinel and Ulcerated Tree Spirit at base level because I hate myself.

they gave us a musket and then took it away, give us back the musket Starbreeze
good game otherwise would highly recommend
+43 hour edit: fun game with a lot to keep you occupied, only realistically worth playing on normal to overkill (MAYBE mayhem, anything above that is really just asking for headaches). Better with friends but definitely still has a great single player experience

This is a collection of my thoughts I've had so far throughout my experience with Mordhau. While this may be helpful to some, the language used herein is frantic (to an extent) and very driven by emotion. For a very long time, I have held a very firm grudge against this game, trying to crucify it with words, but that helps nobody and achieves no progress. I felt it necessary, here at the beginning, to make a more precise and coherent assessment of my opinion. I did, however, leave the rest of my review entirely untouched (because i thought it was kinda funny), save for one very small edit to the 234 hour edit that changed nothing about the message but made it a bit more pleasant to read.
This game, to me, is a disaster-piece. Something so interesting and compelling, yet so frustrating and with a steep learning curve to match. For me to offer this as a game for others to play for them to enjoy would feel akin to me offering cigarettes to children, I would never recommend this were my intent pure of heart. This is the level of my disdain. The controls feel responsive and yet clunky in a way to me that's hard to explain. This unfortunate aspect is not bolstered by a good tutorial because the one that is in place is sub-par, to be gentle, considering the current climate of online play. There were techniques I had never heard about until roughly about 100 hours into my journey that I had died to countless times, causing a mountain of frustration over dying seemingly unfairly, grief over what I perceived to be shortcoming on my end, and a quickly dwindling urge to keep going because I was presented a problem I thought was unfixable (thinking it was some sort of server-side lag). While I find it somewhat difficult to think Triternion saw it coming that people would swing in such a way that allowed you to strike effectively around someone's parry, or that they saw it coming that you could stab near someone and drag it into them at the last moment to catch them off guard, stranger things have happened. I also find it quite hard to believe that if they did find these quirks out, they believed nobody else would after them and exploit them to great use. So that would beg the question, if they knew about these tactics of swing manipulation (or had to find out from the community), why would they not either keep it and offer to explain it to everyone or patch it out somehow and try to scrap it entirely?

While I complain about this game every time I load it up (yes, really, without fail, every time), this game has offered me some of the most genuine expressions of emotion and personal skill in any game I think I have ever played. This game has also lead me to meeting very kind and respectable people that I am thankful to have in my life (but this is the nature of online games, sometimes you just happen to meet people you like in games you might hate). My experience comes from mainly dueling servers (namely, Fred's Fights, ♥♥♥♥ Dan's), so my personal experience is geared more toward a competitive style of play although I do not compete. To duel someone in Mordhau is something, not only exciting, but very personal (which, thinking back, is probably why I tend to not have a very good time most of the time). To understand what you're doing or trying to do, to recognize and react to what the opponent is trying to do, it's a very delicate dance that can shift with no notice at all from any stimulus internal or external. The sting of losing a duel you initiated is something that will stick for the first few dozen hours and may never fully leave. It is a very particular flavor of embarrassment.
When you get down to brass tacks, Mordhau is a well-made game. Yes, this game does have many quirks and what i assume are exploits but are just features now due to the combat system being so free-form.

everyone has bad manners and the game feels unresponsive even though i know it damn well is, no matter if you only spend 5 hours on it like me or 10,000 hours like some sweaty neckbeard, you won't have fun.
51 hour edit: dont play this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game if you like having fun
67 hour edit: i want to understand this game but i just dont, it's not worth the money or time
94.5 hour edit: still not fun, i keep uninstalling and reinstalling this game and i dont know why. maybe im a secret masochist. i wish there was a highly unrecommend button.
150 hour edit: feels entirely luck based
234 hour edit: this game makes me want to say certain silly words

This game has brought many together while also driving some apart. This game is delicately balanced (as far as the stock weapons go). The one gripe i have is that, while i understand that this game is very old and that the code for it is shudder inducing, i wish it got more attention from the developers. Since 2008, this game has been consistently popular and makes Valve a lot of money from cases, MVM tickets, contract vouchers, etc etc.
With that out of the way, my experience with this piece of software has brought me more joy, excitement, and thrill than any other in its genre. When I die in this game, it always feels like its my own fault rather than the undeniable frustration i get with Call of Duty or similar games. I never need to worry about: "wow, that guy was just in a bush or in some weird and out of the way point and got the cheapest kill ever". All of the models are recognizable at a glance, the color palette makes it to where enemies and friends alike stand out very clearly among the map geometry and such. There are no "ults" or ultimate abilities you need to worry about. No customizable shotguns, SMG's, LMG's or anything of the sort. The simplicity gives depth that doesn't become overwhelming. The weapons you do get feel like they actually make a difference in the way you tackle the opponent, making you think differently.

Take for example; An individual levels up in Call of Duty, and unlocked a new SMG. This weapon has superior fire rate but higher recoil and slightly less damage than the one currently in his employ right now. This in and of itself it fair game design, you get something with potentially higher benefit (in this case, slightly higher DPS with the impact of less manageable recoil). In my argument, however, this is bland and boring game design. You get a damage stick thats mildly better that the first damage stick.

Team Fortress 2 did away with this by giving the community "unlockable sidegrades". These weapons are usually worse at the typical way you would play a class, but can also flourish in other situations by giving you situational buffs or more utility. Lets look at the example of the Scout, the class i envision most traditional first person shooter players to gravitate towards due to the classes simplicity of mechanics (no rocket jumping, no uber, just run fast and shoot ass). Scout starts with the scattergun, the pistol, and the bat. The sidegrades that Scout gets for his melee slot, usually an after-afterthough for most because its so mundane. Scout actually get the most mileage from his melee slot because he gets so much utility through his sidegrades, such as: the atomizer (one more mid-air jump and more bat damage in the air, makes this like a diet market gardener in a way), the fan'o'war (while the damage of this weapon is... below par... it makes up for this by marking your target for death, making them take 35% more damage for a short amount of time from all sources), and even the wrap assassin (again, sh!t damage, but you get another ranged option in the form of the alt-fire. You can launch a projectile that causes bleed damage, making aggressors flee from pursuit of you, tossing it onto the point to soften up enemies for your team, or even to use it to benefit of another one of scouts sidegrades.)

Even with a few examples from one class, its easy to see how much thought and care went into making this masterpiece of a game (my opinion) in the earlier years. For a game that is free to play, for a game i have put very little money into personally, for a game that has stood the test of time and the scrutiny of the community and competitors around it, I feel i have gotten my money's worth and so much more. This game is highly recommended by me personally. I will, however, leave off with this; Casual servers are fine for what they are. They serve as a breeding ground for friendship and cooperation (aside from the racists and bigots that infest the chats, theyre somewhat common); however, in recent years, this game has been infested with cheaters and bots who abuse the Sniper class's power. If you do decide to play this great game, you WILL encounter at least one of these so people. If you don't feel like paying the $5 fee to be able to communicate with your and the enemy team to coordinate the kicking of these cheaters, play on community servers like Uncletopia. They are usually much more honorable and secure than the occasional cesspit that casual servers can be.