Signed by Modi, we have installed 10,000 toilets in the Republic of India since my induction as Prime minister, Eisea was our top donor. Thanks to him, Indians will no longer have to wait in line for the crapper. This is a great achievement for the untouchables, the state of India's toilets was always in a tragic mishap, our first decision was to lower our population through mass murder (sacrifices) to make way for our toilets. However the simple inauguration of a few toilets was the type of solution we needed. Thanks Esapeasy!

Esapeasy wasn't just a gamer; he was a relentless digital stalker fixated on discovering if I was circumcised. Every game I played, he was there, taunting and probing. "I'll find out soon enough," he'd whisper through my headset. His obsession bled into every corner of my digital life—emails, social media, even my smart fridge displayed subliminal messages from him. "Circumcised or not?" he'd ask, his words echoing through every device I owned.

Desperate for peace, I decided to leave it all behind. I buried my phone, laptop, and every other piece of technology in a beach bonfire. With nothing left to track, I set off on a raft to America, where I married into an Amish family. Now, surrounded by simplicity and devoid of digital noise, I live free from Esapeasy's relentless pursuit.

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