Chemically Lemon : godspeed, cosmic amphibian

InterstellarFrog™: Frög



I am ♥♥♥♥♥♥ the Wise
Ez Indeezy™





I am Frog
What are you?
A redditor
Or perhaps worse?
British
Don't worry I'm all of the above
All but the Frog parts is lie
Have I made myself clear?
No?
Good

I must ask
How many letters can i fit into this thing?
Well lets find out


-None of these events are true-

When I was age six I ate an entire 1lb bag of sour patch kids
But me being a dumbass kid I didn't read the expiration date
Basically I threwd up a viscus rainbow disc
I didn't tell anyone for like five minutes or something like that
When I did say something I was laying down in a hospital bed
According to -Some- eye witnesses I fell into the pool and managed to drown with floaties
All I remember from that day was eating an entire 1lg bag of sour patch kids
Throwing up a rainbow
Then waking up with a kind goblin standing over me who said:
"A skinless man goes outside, hypothermia"
The goblin gave me candy
And as i stare into the goblin's eyes I realize it wasn't a goblin
Nothing that day was true and I never escaped the asylum
All my efforts for nothing
"Take the pill"
Said the a tall figure dressed in all black, its face shrouded by darkness
The thing held out two bony hands and continued
"One will give infinite calcium, and the other tastes like blueberry"
I felt myself start to float
I finally found my voice
"What the fu-" A massive gout of air filled my lungs cutting me off mid-swear
The tables had turn once more
I was no longer in the asylum
Shaken by my near death experience, I asked my mom if we could go home
Back to the house
Back to safety
And that's when I felt it
In my stupid little pocket
Two pills one red, one blue
Being the dumbass child I was, I took both
Mmm blue berry and infinite calcium feels good on my being

Anyways I'm IntergalacticFrog and you're watching a madman do his work

Let me tell you a story about the fast-food joint "Wendys" nutts
So basically I was 5 months old or something
I was sitting with my part-time criminal/ part-time criminal, so full time criminal friend Eddy
We sat together eating Wendys, in pure silence
Until my vision began to blur
The Wendys began to morph and twist
Before I could process what was happened, I was in a new environment
Thicc, tall, dark tress reached out
As if their branches were pointing to something
So I went in that direction
After what felt like hours but was actually minuets of walking
I came across a cabin
The door was unlocked
I went inside -without knocking-
There was a lit fireplace and many, many furs on the ground next to it
So being the tired Human I probably still am
I tried to sleep
I didn't even notice the pictures on the walls until I had settled in the furs
Creatures
Terrifying creatures
The picture's black eyes staring down upon me, making the night a restless one
I woke to the sun blaring down on the forest
I rubbed my eyes
Then I saw it
I realized something about the pictures
And it was something I'll never forget

The pictures were not pictures

They were windows

And they were empty

-Anyways again, none of these story's are true at all-


anyways
Once upon a time I went to arby's