bad player's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 10 Feb, 2020 @ 7:55am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 10 Feb, 2020 @ 11:08am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 9 Feb, 2020 @ 10:14am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 20 May, 2021 @ 2:03pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 10 Feb, 2020 @ 11:40am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 9 Feb, 2020 @ 10:21am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 10 Feb, 2020 @ 10:41am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 10 Feb, 2020 @ 11:50am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 11 Feb, 2020 @ 10:07am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2020 @ 6:54am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2020 @ 8:18am

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2020 @ 10:09am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2020 @ 6:44am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 6 Apr, 2021 @ 12:31pm

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2021 @ 2:44pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 20 May, 2021 @ 1:58pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 7 Jun, 2020 @ 2:57pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 21 May, 2021 @ 9:25am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 28 Mar, 2020 @ 9:34am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 28 May, 2020 @ 4:24am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 2 Aug, 2021 @ 1:29pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 27 Mar, 2020 @ 11:42am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 28 Mar, 2020 @ 7:57am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 26 Mar, 2020 @ 10:38am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2020 @ 8:24am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2020 @ 8:27am

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 21 May, 2021 @ 10:08am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2020 @ 6:43am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 12 Feb, 2020 @ 8:25am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 27 Mar, 2020 @ 12:24pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 11 Feb, 2020 @ 6:46am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 11 Feb, 2020 @ 9:35am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 10 Feb, 2020 @ 11:04am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 20 May, 2021 @ 1:58pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 2 Apr, 2022 @ 3:52pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 10 Feb, 2020 @ 7:52am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 9 Feb, 2020 @ 10:26am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 2 Aug, 2021 @ 2:48pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 9 Feb, 2020 @ 10:02am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 11 Feb, 2020 @ 6:29am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 15 Feb, 2020 @ 7:07am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 9 Feb, 2020 @ 10:30am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2020 @ 10:20am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 3 Apr, 2021 @ 2:22pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 25 Apr, 2021 @ 5:46am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 28 May, 2020 @ 11:54am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 11 Feb, 2020 @ 5:38am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 27 Mar, 2020 @ 11:30am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2023 @ 1:41pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 25 Feb, 2023 @ 1:32pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 20 May, 2021 @ 2:09pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2020 @ 9:03am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2020 @ 10:24am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2020 @ 1:38pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2020 @ 10:18am

Ape Gape

Escaped the Animal Control Center with all monkeys alive.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2021 @ 1:02pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 17 Apr, 2020 @ 11:19am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 28 Mar, 2020 @ 9:08am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 4 Jul, 2020 @ 10:32am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

10 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

1 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

17 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

30 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

13 / 30