bro whyd you steal my axe body spray bro i neeeed that

I own a Gladius for home defense, since that is what the founders of Rome intended. Four plebeians break into my home. "By Jove!" as I replace my Toga with a Galea and grab my Pila and Gladius. Leave a golf ball sized wound in the first man, he is dead on the spot. Throw my other Pilum at the second man, miss him entirely because he is too far and nail the neighbour's dog. I have to resort to the Onager at the top of the stairs loaded with pots of Greek Fire, "Roma Invicta!" as the Greek Fire burns two men to a crisp, the roaring sound and out of control fire sucking up all the oxygen. Strap my Scutum to my arm and charge the last terrified plebeian. He bleeds out waiting for the police to arrive since Gladius wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founders of Rome intended.

I love youuuuuuuuuu my beautiful wife <3

Stinky

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