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55 of 85 (65%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Spring Fresh

Clean any map adequately
Unlocked 29 Apr @ 3:54pm

Employee of the Month

Get the Employee of the Month reward for your office
Unlocked 29 Apr @ 3:54pm

You're Fired!

Get fired!
Unlocked 3 May @ 5:29pm

Bloody Hell!

Mop up 10,000 splats
Unlocked 31 May @ 1:56pm

Janicide

Blow up a fellow worker with the help of an ominously bright-red explosive charge
Unlocked 22 May @ 12:46pm

The Nose Knows

Use the Sniffer for a total of 2 hours
Unlocked 18 May @ 12:04pm

The Mops Of Wrath

Complete Athena's Wrath Level
Unlocked 3 May @ 2:49pm

Anti-Virus

Complete Caduceus Level
Unlocked 15 May @ 2:42pm

Ice-Cold Cleana

Complete Cryogenesis Level
Unlocked 11 Jun @ 1:25pm

Surgical Sweeper

Complete Evil Science Level
Unlocked 6 Jun @ 1:46pm

Deep-Sea Dry-cleaning

Complete Paintenance Level
Unlocked 18 May @ 3:01pm

Operation Brownwash

Complete Waste Disposal Level
Unlocked 13 May @ 1:58pm

Refined

Complete Unrefinery Level
Unlocked 13 May @ 3:29pm

Pass The Torch

Take a lit flare from a fellow Janitor
Unlocked 13 May @ 12:43pm

Louis and Clean

Complete Gravity Drive Level
Unlocked 11 Jun @ 3:07pm

Big Banger Burnout

Tame the uncontrollable fury of the Big Banger by incinerating it
Unlocked 29 Apr @ 1:10pm

Employee of the Year

Receive 12 Employee of the Month awards
Unlocked 30 May @ 1:17pm

Identity Theft

Steal 30 or more Personal Identification Devices (P.I.Ds) from cleaned levels and take them to your office
Unlocked 3 May @ 5:08pm

Brushed Steel

Complete Revolutionary Robotics Level
Unlocked 4 Jun @ 3:33pm

Bushwhacked

Complete Overgrowth Level
Unlocked 6 Jun @ 3:18pm

Lost in Space and Time

Get consumed by an inter-dimensional crack in space-time
Unlocked 17 May @ 12:02pm

Wicked Unliving

Collect the chainsaw, boomstick, cursed hand and the evil book and return them to your office
Unlocked 17 May @ 2:50pm

Thursday the 12th

Collect the mask and machete and return them to your office
Unlocked 17 May @ 2:50pm

Bad Dreams on Helm Street

Collect the clawed glove and return it to your office
Unlocked 17 May @ 2:50pm

Harroween

Collect the white mask and butcher knife and return them to your office
Unlocked 17 May @ 2:50pm

The Shimmering

Collect the axe and return it to your office
Unlocked 17 May @ 2:50pm

Never Put It On

Collect the ring and return it to your office
Unlocked 17 May @ 2:50pm

House of Honor

Clean the entire House of Horror level
Unlocked 17 May @ 2:50pm

Back From Whence It Came

Destroy the Bad Banger
Unlocked 17 May @ 12:11pm

Not Quite a Lumberjack

Destroy 200 items in the woodchipper
Unlocked 18 May @ 11:30am

Cleanliness is Godliness

Completely clean all mess in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Unlocked 30 May @ 1:17pm

Sanitized Earth

Completely clean all mess and destroy every item in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Unlocked 30 May @ 2:33pm

Bloody Incompetent

Prove your incompetence by leaving a worse mess in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Unlocked 30 May @ 1:34pm

St. Nick's Boomstick

Collect Santa's shotgun and bring it back to your office
Unlocked 30 May @ 1:17pm

The Red Nose Knows

Collect the iconic reindeer nose and bring it back to your office
Unlocked 30 May @ 1:17pm

Rooks Kept

Collect the different Rooks Keep figurines and take them back to your office
Unlocked 30 May @ 1:17pm

Ballistic Weaponry

Collect the different Ballistic Weapons toys and bring them back to your office
Unlocked 30 May @ 2:33pm

Thunder Candle

Requisition a new replacement janitor through the use of TNT
Unlocked 30 May @ 12:12pm

Head Hunter

Collect elf heads and bring them back to your office, you freakin' psycho!
Unlocked 30 May @ 2:33pm

Santa Hats Must Die!

Incinerate 50 Santa hats, the symbol of everything you hate
Unlocked 1 Jun @ 11:39am

Tower of Babel

Build a stack of 10 stools
Unlocked 30 May @ 1:08pm

The Day the Funk Died

Bring about the sad meeting of Ice-Cold Banger and fire
Unlocked 30 May @ 1:33pm

Cold Storage

Complete Frostbite Level
Unlocked 22 May @ 1:49pm

Swept Under The Carpet

Complete Uprinsing Level
Unlocked 29 Apr @ 3:54pm

Pest Control

Complete Pestilent Penitentiary Level
Unlocked 3 May @ 5:08pm

Audacious Oddities

Find all the unique Collectibles in the Vulcan Affair and return them to your office
Unlocked 1 Jun @ 12:56pm

Lair Care

Clean the entire Vulcan Affair level
Unlocked 1 Jun @ 12:56pm

Teeth for Tunes

Bring about the unfortunate meeting of Double-Oh Banger and Shark
Unlocked 31 May @ 12:46pm

Blood in the Water

Go for a swim with Sharks
Unlocked 31 May @ 12:32pm

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Tank

Feed the ever hungry Sharks 500 items they can either devour or destroy
Unlocked 31 May @ 1:54pm

Double-Oh Dumbass

Foolishly activate the Death Ray
Unlocked 31 May @ 1:11pm

Locked In

Lock another player inside a holding cell where they belong
Unlocked 31 May @ 12:34pm

Death From Above

Get turned into mist by an orbital beam weapon
Unlocked 31 May @ 1:24pm

Cat-astrophe

Using an orbital beam weapon, destroy the symbol of your most hated overlord; cats!
Unlocked 31 May @ 1:21pm

Orbital Bang-bardment

Allow the Banger to ascend to its rightful place among the heavens through the use of an orbital beam weapon
Unlocked 1 Jun @ 1:06pm



Blood Soaked

Spill 100 dirty buckets
80 / 100

Blaze of Glory

Incinerate 2000 items
1,500 / 2,000

Who's for Dinner?

Get eaten
0 / 1

Top Brass

Pick up 800 casings
360 / 800

Taking Out the Trash

Pick up 1000 pieces of trash
420 / 1,000

Ubermensch

Speedrun a map with at least %25 par time to spare
0 / 1

Pedestrian

Track over 20,000 footprints
16,020 / 20,000

Need a Hand?

Receive a total of 35 helping hands from the Slosh-O-Matic
12 / 35

Bins? Limbs!

Suffer the wrath of the Bin machine 75 times
8 / 75

First Aid

Restock a total of 50 medkits over your cleaning career by punching out of levels with medkits
42 / 50

Chew on This!

Throw 100 items into sand traps
0 / 100

Disintegrator

Fry 500 items with the plasma welder
20 / 500

Sandblasted

Complete Unearthly Excavation Level
0 / 1

Pine Fresh

Complete Hydroponic Hell Level
0 / 1

One Mop To Rule Them All

Complete All major Official Levels
0 / 1

Clean Freak

Cleanup your own personal Office by removing any Trash, Viscera and Blood; excluding trophies, then leave
0 / 1

Bring the Thunder

Take the Big Banger Supernova out of Unearthly Excavation and into another work-site and turn it on
0 / 1

Master of the Beats

Turn off the Big Banger while it's playing loudly(keep your music volume up too) in zero-gravity during a Solo game
0 / 1

Plague Bearer

Transfer a Goo-Jar to another work-site and infect something
0 / 1

Head Hunter

Collect a head from each species in cleaned levels and take them to your office
3 / 5

Bob's Legacy

Find Bob
0 / 1

"Red Keycard"

Unlock Bob's super secret secret stash room
0 / 1

Keep It Secret, Keep It Safe

Find all the unique and hidden collectibles and return them to your office
7 / 13

Eggregious

Find all the hidden painted eggs and return them to your office
1 / 3

Christmas Crisis Corrected

Completely clean Santa's Workshop without breaking any Christmas items and clock off
0 / 1

Biomassive Breakdown

Complete Incubation Emergency Level
0 / 1

Sanitary Supremacy

Completely clean the entire Shadow Warrior temple level
0 / 1

Mr. Two Million Dollars

Collect the two million dollars of cold hard cash from the Shadow Warrior level all at once and bring it back to your office
0 / 2,000,000

Crystal Clear

Complete Core Sample Level
0 / 1

Bleach and Clear

Complete Penumbra Level
0 / 1