har har har har har, har har har har har, har har har har, har har har har.

[BLU Pyro laughing and firing flamethrower]
[Same Pyro taunting and distant explosion is heard]
[Explosion]

[BLU Demoman drinking from bottle as a Crocket blows him up
(rocket missing red shine and electric particles)]

[BLU Heavy Showdown taunts the camera while another
Crocket blows him up]

[Meet the Soldier title sequence]

[Cut to RED Soldier training maggots]

"'If fighting is sure to result in victory, then you must fight,' Sun Tzu said that," the Soldier quotes, "And I'd say he'd know a little more about fighting than you do pal because he invented it, and then he perfected it so that no living man could best him in the ring of honor."

[AAAAAAaaaaaah]

[3rd person shaky cam showing RED Soldier shotgun a BLU Demoman that missed two pipes (presumably drunk)]

[RED Soldier switches to Rocket Launcher and Crockets a F2P BLU Medic pretending to be a damage class]

"MAGGOTS"

[RED Sniper says something but I gave up trying to figure out what either "Great Aim" or "Right there"]

[RED Soldier reloads his Rocket Launcher as RED Heavy presses 'Z' then '3' on his keyboard]

[RED Soldier enters the team fight]

[Cut back to Soldier training the maggots]

"Then he used his fight money to buy two of every animal on Earth," he says gesturing with two hand grenades pulled from his sash, "And then he herded them onto a boat, and then he beat the crap out of every single one," he states smashing the two grenades against each other.

[Back To The Front (part 2)]

"Sentry up there!" exclaims the cowardly, skinny boy from a city of maggots.

[Our brave hero charges the BLU Engineer and his sentry]

"Dammit," groans the Engineer as the RED Soldier uses a rocket to destroy him and the sentry while Blast Jumping onto the Pipe]

[RED Soldier crockets a BLU Heavy and Pyro standing on the Capture Point]

[Jumping down to start caputring, the Soldier whips around to deliver a crit shovel to the face of some bitchass Frenchman (he will not be missed)]

[We return to basic training as the soldier laughs at the maggots]

"And from that day forward anytime a bunch of animals are together in one place it's called a ZOO!"

[Camera turns around to reveal that all of the maggots are just the decapitated heads of the former BLU team]

[Meet the Team end sequence plays]

"Unless it's a farm," the RED soldier explains to a fallen BLU Medic head.

[Credits]