Recent reviews by ModeratelyAnnoyedByYourExistence

Jeff my beloved :3

The asscheeks on the space marine models make me question my sexuality

We took back Malevelon Creek. We killed 2 billion Terminids in under 12 hours. We halted the Automaton reclamation. And we forced Sony to back down from imposing tyranny over us! I#m proud to be a Helldiver! For Super Earth and democracy!

(This review was made in cooperation with and approved by the Ministry of Truth.)

Unlike irl, women in this game want to have sex with me. So I guess that's a - for immersion. And yeah it's a bit buggy and heavy on your system. But otherwise it's pretty fun.

Saving humanity with the power of fossil fuels, child labor and propaganda!

This game is very immersive and addictive, you can lose track of time terrifyingly quickly. The game looks good, plays even better and oh god the soundtrack is just phenomenal! 10/10

The visuals are very nice, but that's about the only redeeming quality. The combat and movement are janky and unpolished. The weapons feel and sound very weak and are generally unsatisfying to use. Despite the game claiming that you are a terminator elite you also have the durability of a soggy napkin, no matter the difficulty. Meanwhile the enemies are absolute bullet sponges. Your bot squadmates are absolutely useless except for occasionally killing an enemy that gets right up in their face. Getting to objectives is frustrating and takes an assload of time. The story is bland and uninteresting, same goes for the sound design. You could maybe get something out of the multiplayer with a couple of friends, but I'd only buy this if you want a spacehulk exploring simulator.

Guardsman's guide to surviving in Tertium:

Step 1: take latrine shovel
Step 2: find heretic
Step 3: beat the heretic into submission with the shovel
Step 4: repeat until no heretics remain
Step 5: Praise the Emperor

Seriously though, Darktide absolutely nails the feel of 40k. The visuals, music, voice acting and general artstyle are excellent. The gameplay is great and the weapons feel, look and sound right. The weapon selection is good and it allows for a variety of playstyles, however I'd personally wish for more down the line. The classes feel unique and all of them are fun to play as. The story is nice and it fits quite well into the lore of 40k.

Epic space battles with an epic soundtrack. What more do you need?