So, I'm in this multiplayer match, right? Out of nowhere, this random dude starts acting all belligerent and rude, like he just rolled out of bed on the wrong side of the swamp. The next thing I know, he somehow gets my cell number—don't even ask me how—and calls me up, claiming he's from Louisiana.

In his best bayou drawl, he yells, "Hey there, gay-ta lov-ah! You one o' them fang-bangers too?" I could practically hear the banjos playing in the background. It was like I was getting roasted by a gator-wrestling, vampire-hunting Cajun!