-rep emptied my piss drawer and threw out my poop sock

I used to roll half a bottle of laxative pills into a Crunch wrap supreme and then leave cow pies on peoples door mats. People in my town installed porch cameras to catch the "Phantom Sh*tter" they said it couldn't possibly be one man, the hits were too frequent and too large. It had to be a whole gang of city punks coordinating and making planned precision strikes. I felt like a god among lesser beings in my town. Every time i was at the local diner and i overheard someone screaming about the black slop they found on their porch i felt powerful and unstoppable. I became too arrogant, started striking during the day. That's when they caught me and strung me up in the streets and hit me with rocks. I barely escaped with my life and i had to leave town. Now after all these years, I'm in a new town and I behave well enough. But I've got this nagging feeling, the urge is back, and I'm starting to think that my new town is about to experience a storm

I am a heron. I have a long neck and I pick fish out of the water with my beak. If you don't repost this comment on 10 other profiles I will fly into your kitchen tonight and make a mess of your pots and pans.

-rep bad at siege

I punch myself in the balls every morning. It's completely out of my comfort zone but I put my fears aside and punch the sh*t out of my nuts every morning. It gives me the confidence to do things in life I'm to scared of doing normally. It's given me the confidence to talk more freely, interact with others, and really be in the present moment. By punching my nuts every morning, I live the rest of my day happily and not depressed, because throughout the day I don't feel the pain I felt in the morning and its the biggest relief. In my opinion, every guy should punch their balls at least once every morning.

♥♥♥♥♥♥