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Red room veteran

Chinese poem:
Nkosi sikelel' iAfrika
Maluphakanyisw' uphondo lwayo
Yiva imithandazo yethu
Nkosi Sikelela Nkosi Sikelela

Nkosi sikelel' iAfrika
Maluphakanyisw' uphondo lwayo
Yizwa imithandazo yethu
Nkosi Sikelela
Thina lusapho lwayo.

Translation:
There was a Young Man from Kent
Whose rod was so long it bent.
So to save himself trouble
He bent it in double,
And instead of coming – he went!

There once was a Man from Bel Air
Who was doing his wife on the stair
But the banister broke
So he doubled his stroke
And finished her off in mid-air

A strange young fellow from Leeds
Rashly swallowed a package of seeds.
Great tufts of fine grass
Sprouted out of his ass
And his balls were covered with weeds

There once was a man from sprocket
Who went for a ride in a rocket
The rocket went bang
His balls went clang
And he found his ♥♥♥♥ in his pocket!