2017 Microsoft Word West Cork Regional Runner-Up.

Simultaneously Ranked No.1 and No.2 in the world at Fight Club but don't mention that to anybody.

Inter-county 1997 Avonmore Spelling bee champyon of the world

Official Guinness world record holder for most time spent deciding whether to buy wafer-thin or deli-style ham at the supermarket

PC Specs:
Intel VTEC Triple Fumigated XJ220 Bi-Directional Processor (Overclocked to 1200bhp)
An army of indentured servants turning a gigantic dynamo producing exactly 500W of power.
Floppy Disk drive
Graphics card not necessary due to presence of floppy drive
A single tastefully placed white LED