I am waiting on the bed, lit dimly by candlelight. I wink and flash a slight smile; suddenly my face starts contourting unnaturally. The sound of tearing skin fills the room as my face begins to crudely resemble the text emoticon ":3." A rumbling groan of pain drones in your ears as the tension on my face intensifies. Suddenly a loud snap cracks through the air, my face drops as all the tendons under my skin simultaneously snapped under the pressure. My drooping mouth and newly dead eyes pierce your skull, a pained moan fills the air as I just barely make out the words: "show me how those tits fart"

Have no fear, the beer is heer

it would seem so