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This man is a liar, and a terrible friend. He said it would be OK if I had sexual relations with his mother (I'm a nice guy, and she's lonely), but when I went ahead with it and married the woman, he refuses to speak to me.
Son if you're reading, this please make sure you take your meds and stay away from Schools like the Judge told you to.
P.S stop paying for haircuts... you have no hair to cut.