*jaw drops to floor, eyes pop out of sockets accompanied by trumpets, heart beats out of chest, awooga awooga sound effect, pulls chain on train whistle that has appeared next to head as steam blows out, slams fists on table, rattling any plates, bowls or silverware, whistles loudly, fireworks shoot from top of head, pants loudly as tongue hangs out of mouth, wipes comically large bead of sweat from forehead, clears throat, straightens tie, combs hair* Ahem, you look very lovely.

I caught this guy ♥♥♥♥ing my girlfriend last week. I’m still ♥♥♥♥♥♥ about it but there’s nothing I can do. She loves him. I knew she was acting weird because she kept staying out late and coming home with taco sauce on her blouse. During sex she’d scream to give her my five dollar foot long, but I’m only 3 inches and five dollars is way too much for what I’m giving. One day I came home to find her getting plowed against the wall by this dude. He had her hair in one hand and a taco bell cheesy gordita crunch in the other. I tried to fight him, but he slapped me so hard it broke every window in the house. This dude’s a stone cold pimp and I can’t do anything to hurt him, so I can only hope he breaks her heart one day like she broke mine.

SLAV LEAD THURSDAYS LET'S GOOOO

h-hewwo...owunce of weed pwease >///< arigato... dealer-kun puts weedie-chan in bong and inhales waaah!!
(╯✧▽✧)╯ daisuki cannabis desu~! (^ ω ^) uwaaa! weedie-chan i feel so kimochi!!(〃°ω°〃) hehe~ ur deep inside me now x3 weedie-chans drug ♥♥♥♥♥ is so good! (ﾉ´ з )ノ everything is daijobu ! n-nani??(O_O;) eehh munchie-sama is over now...
(´• ω •)ﾉ devours pocky and left over cummies uwaaa~ daisuki cannabis ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ =w=