I ain't stirrin' up a pot of fondue when I say this—no siree! He swapped those digits like swapping out Gouda for Swiss! It was 1216, right after Magna Carta, like sprinkling Parmesan on pasta. Me, mess up? Cheesus crust, never! It's like tryin' to find the perfect wine to pair with brie. But try as I might, couldn't slice through his cheesy schemes! He's slicker than a wheel of Camembert, got that dimwit at the copy shop to spread his cheesy lies like cream cheese on a bagel. You think this is just a cheesy prank? Think again! It's just the tip of the iceberg lettuce. That billboard? Oh, it was as orchestrated as a wine and cheese tasting event! Jimmy, that cheesy prankster, mooned through a sunroof like a slice of Edam! And who comes to the rescue? Yours truly, like a knight in shining cheese armor! Should've just left him to ferment in his own cheesy mess. But no, I brought him into my own cheese emporium! What was I thinkin', serving up a platter of trouble on a silver tray? He's about as likely to change as a block of cheddar in a heatwave! Been a cheese thief since he was knee-high to a cheese wheel! But oh no, not our Jimmy! Couldn't possibly be him! Snatching cheese right out from under our noses like a rat in a cheese cellar! And now he's a lawyer? Talk about a cheesy punchline! Should've cut him off like a moldy piece of Roquefort when I had the chance! And you—yeah, you gotta put a cork in his cheesy antics before it's too late!