"******************'s POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 5:16pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 4:53pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 3:09pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 5:20pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 4:56pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2020 @ 5:46pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 8 Dec, 2020 @ 7:43pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2020 @ 7:54am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2020 @ 4:51pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2020 @ 6:04pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2020 @ 5:22pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 8 Dec, 2020 @ 7:15pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 23 Aug, 2023 @ 11:20am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 14 Dec, 2020 @ 1:18pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2020 @ 5:25pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 8 Dec, 2020 @ 6:36pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 6 Sep, 2021 @ 2:25pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 27 Aug, 2023 @ 7:38am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 8 Dec, 2020 @ 6:23pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 5:13pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2020 @ 10:25am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2020 @ 4:34pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2020 @ 4:42pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2020 @ 7:35am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2020 @ 8:23am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2020 @ 4:48pm

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 28 Aug, 2023 @ 4:23am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2020 @ 10:29am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 3:09pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2020 @ 7:48am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 3:09pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2020 @ 5:38pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 30 Aug, 2023 @ 5:34pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 3:12pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 5:02pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 6 Sep, 2021 @ 2:15pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 3:07pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 4:01pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2020 @ 5:54pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2020 @ 1:06pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 15 Dec, 2020 @ 1:09am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 23 Aug, 2023 @ 4:28pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 8 Dec, 2020 @ 7:13pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 6 Sep, 2021 @ 2:10pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 6 Dec, 2020 @ 4:54pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 8 Dec, 2020 @ 5:48pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 8 Dec, 2020 @ 5:27pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 23 Aug, 2023 @ 4:36pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 16 Dec, 2020 @ 5:25pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 29 Aug, 2023 @ 2:46pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 29 Aug, 2023 @ 3:59pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 30 Aug, 2023 @ 11:30am

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 30 Aug, 2023 @ 5:31pm

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

Unlocked 16 Sep, 2023 @ 4:09am

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 30 Aug, 2023 @ 11:05am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2020 @ 5:06pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

26 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

6 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

2 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

24 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

4,520 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

5 / 30