The city of Nutropolis was in grave danger. Again.

Dr. Chris Chastity, the self-proclaimed guardian of moral purity, had stolen the legendary Jizz Gauntlet, an artefact of unspeakable power that could either bring unlimited pleasure—or enforce a lifetime of abstinence. It was said that whoever wielded the Gauntlet could control all bodily fluids in the universe, and Dr. Chastity planned to use it to banish all seed forever.

But not if Captain Wank Man Person Guy and his trusty sidekick, Jerk Boy Male Dude, had anything to say about it.

"Alright, Jerk Boy, our mission is simple," Captain Wank Man declared, striking a heroic pose. "We must storm the Virgin Fortress, defeat Dr. Chastity, and reclaim the Jizz Gauntlet before he enforces his tyrannical reign of dryness!"

"Yeah, yeah, I got it," Jerk Boy said, adjusting his sunglasses. "Let’s just punch this loser and get back to doing literally anything else."

The duo infiltrated the fortress, dodging laser chastity belts and purity-ring death traps. Dr. Chastity’s minions, the NoFap Knights, charged at them, screaming, "SELF-CONTROL IS POWER!"

Captain Wank Man smashed through them, his fists flashing like desperate Reddit posts on r/NSFW! Jerk Boy unleashed a flurry of slaps, sending the knights reeling with every disrespectful backhand.

Finally, they reached the inner sanctum.

Dr. Chastity stood upon a golden altar, the Jizz Gauntlet secured to his trembling hand. "You degenerates think you can stop the future?" he sneered. "With this, I shall bring eternal discipline to the weak! No more thirst! No more filth! Only pure, untainted souls!"

Captain Wank Man narrowed his eyes. "Yeah, that sounds lame as hell."

The battle was legendary.

Dr. Chastity fired abstinence beams, forcing the heroes to dodge lest they lose all urges forever. Jerk Boy flanked left, flipping through a worn-out adult magazine to distract the villain, while Captain Wank Man charged head-on, fists glowing with the power of the forbidden arts.

With one mighty punch, Captain Wank Man struck the Gauntlet—and the artefact exploded in a burst of unspeakable fluid energy.

Dr. Chastity screamed as he was blasted into the Shadow Realm of Repressed Desires, his body dissolving into pure, frustrated rage.

The fortress collapsed.

Ball Brotherhood
The world thought it was safe. That the ♥♥♥ Gauntlet, now in the hands of the righteous, would
ensure an era of eternal satisfaction.
They were wrong.

Deep in the shadowy underbelly of Lustenburg, a new threat emerged. A cult of celibate
zealots, known only as The Blue Ball Brotherhood, had sworn vengeance against Captain
Wank Man Person Guy and his trusty sidekick, Jerk Boy Kid Dude. Their leader? The
Grandmaster Edge Lord, a man so repressed he could crush diamonds between his thighs.
Their mission: to edge the world into oblivion.

The Attack on Pleasure Tower
The night was young, and the neon-lit streets of Lustenburg dripped with debauchery. Pleasure
Tower, the city’s grandest temple of hedonism, pulsed with the raw energy of countless sins.
Inside, Captain Wank Man basked in his victory over Dr. Chastity, reclining in a leather-bound
throne surrounded by a court of admirers.
Jerk Boy Kid Dude, ever vigilant, sipped from a cup of electrolyte-enhanced recovery juice.
“Captain, I got a bad feeling…”
The ground shook. Sirens blared. And then—BOOM!
A torrential explosion of cold showers and motivational podcasts flooded the streets.
Blue-robed monks stormed the tower, chanting in monotone:
“WITHHOLD. RESTRAIN. SUPPRESS.”

Captain Wank Man shot to his feet. “Oh, hell no.”
From the smoke, the Grandmaster Edge Lord emerged. He wore iron-clad compression
shorts and a chastity belt of unknown material. His aura radiated blue light, the very
essence of denied release.
“You debauched degenerates have corrupted this city for too long!” he bellowed, gripping a
massive, two-handed Sword of Eternal Restraint. “Tonight, the Blue Ball Eclipse shall begin!”
Jerk Boy shuddered. “Captain… if that happens… no one will ever finish again.”
Wank Man cracked his knuckles. “Not on my watch.”

The Battle of the Blue Balls
The Brotherhood surged forward, their energy pulsing—but not quite releasing. They fought
with overwhelming frustration, their attacks fueled by pent-up rage.
Jerk Boy Kid Dude flipped through the air, dodging their stiff (and not in the fun way) strikes.
“They’re too tense! We need to loosen them up!”
Captain Wank Man grinned. “Way ahead of you.”
He reached into his Utility Belt of Unholy Delights and pulled out the ultimate weapon:
🔥 The Forbidden Lotion. 🔥
The mere uncapping of the bottle sent a shockwave through the Brotherhood, their rigid
bodies trembling. The scent of coconut oil and sin filled the air.
“NO!” Edge Lord screamed, clutching his belt. “STAY STRONG, BROTHERS! DO NOT GIVE IN
TO—”
But it was too late.

Captain Wank Man lunged, slathering his hands with the sacred elixir. He struck with The
Thousand Palm Release Technique, a flurry of unspeakable movements so fast, so
dexterous, that entire lifetimes of tension erupted in a single instant.
One by one, the Brotherhood collapsed, their blue robes stained with newfound clarity.
Grandmaster Edge Lord fell to his knees. “I… I see now… I have been… so… backed up…”
He let out a single, shuddering sigh—and ascended.
Aftermath: The Balance Restored
With the Brotherhood dismantled, Lustenburg was safe once more. Pleasure Tower shined
brighter than ever.
Jerk Boy Kid Dude sat on the rooftop, exhausted. “We did it… but I have a feeling this won’t be
the last time someone tries to put the world in a dry spell.”
Captain Wank Man Person Guy smirked. “Let them come. We’ll always be here… keeping the
world satisfied.”
The camera panned to the ♥♥♥ Gauntlet, glowing softly under the moonlight.
Somewhere, in the distance, an ominous laugh echoed.
TO BE CONTINUED… �