My friend, Vlaem1ng (fake name), has been obsessed with ketchup ever since I met him. He is always trying out different recipes to make his own ketchup and getting me and all our friends to try them. Recently he made "his best ketchup yet." I tried it. It wasn't bad. It was ketchup. Now he has decided he is "finally going to break into the ketchup game."

He is convinced he is going to launch his own ketchup company and grow it to be one of the top providers of ketchup in Belgium. He literally has a photo of Heinz ketchup on a dartboard. He throws darts at it and mutters things like "I'm coming for YOU."

Anyways, he has a scheme he wants me and others to participate in. Essentially it involves us all going to a restaurant, sitting at different tables, and enacting lines from a scene he wrote that will culminate in all of us trying and loving his ketchup and convincing the manager to buy it. He wants us all to memorize lines.

The gist of it is one guy is supposed to call over a waitress and say he likes the French fries but hates the ketchup. I am supposed to lean over (from another table) and say, "Sorry to butt in, hah hah, but I have to agree. I'm tired of this old fashioned, factory-produced ketchup. Where's the real tomato flavor?" After a few other people do this, my friend is going to say, "You guys won't believe this, but I'm a ketchup chef, and I have a few samples. Would you want to give it a shot?"

At this point, everyone is supposed to try the ketchup and act astounded by it and basically all exclaim it is the best ketchup they ever had. I am supposed to stand up on my table and "make a trumpet sound effect" and then yell to the entire restaurant, "We have the best ketchup ever made over here! Everyone come on over!"

One of the other people is supposed to get the manager of the place over and we are all supposed to try to convince him or her to buy an order of my friend's ketchup. He is going to act "surprised and embarrassed" and try to tell us to "stop putting this poor guy on the spot" in regards to the manager. He then assumes he will make a "huge sale." Then he wants to do this same "operation" at other places in town.

I told him no way am I doing this. I hate public speaking/acting and having attention focused on me, also the idea is just so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dumb and crazy to me. I told him that straight up. He acted offended and said I am "ruining his dreams."

I am astounded by this but some of my friends agree and think he is showing "hustle" and that we should all help him launch his ketchup business. Aside from his ketchup obsession, Vlaem1ng is one of my best friends but it seems our friendship is being ruined. A lot of people are telling me I am a jerk for going against his dream and not helping out.

Australia is one of the biggest hoaxes ever created, and you have all been tricked. Join the movement today, and make it known that they have been deceived. Make it known, that this has all just been a cover-up. The things these “Australian” says to be doing, all these swear words and actions based on alcoholism, MDMA and bad decisions, are all ways to distract you from the ugly truth that is one of the greatest genocides in history. 162,000 people was said to have been transported to this imaginary land during a mere 80 years, and they are all long dead by now. They never reached that promised land.

The real reason you can't invade Australia is because it doesn't exist. Australia is not real. It’s a hoax, made for us to believe that Britain moved over their criminals to someplace. In reality, all these criminals were loaded off the ships into the waters, drowning before they could see land ever again. It’s a coverup for one of the greatest mass murders in history, made by one of the most prominent empires.

Australia does not exist. All things you call “proof” are actually well fabricated lies and documents made by the leading governments of the world. Your Australian friends? They’re all actors and computer generated personas, part of the plot to trick the world.
If you think you’ve ever been to Australia, you’re terribly wrong. The plane pilots are all in on this, and have in all actuality only flown you to islands close nearby – or in some cases, parts of South America, where they have cleared space and hired actors to act out as real Australians.