Emperor's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2022 @ 10:56am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 21 Apr, 2022 @ 12:28pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2022 @ 11:48am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 21 Apr, 2022 @ 1:15pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2022 @ 11:50am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2022 @ 12:48pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 21 Apr, 2022 @ 12:52pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 23 Apr, 2022 @ 10:42pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 4 May, 2022 @ 4:10am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 25 Dec @ 7:32am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 25 Dec @ 3:06pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 26 Dec @ 5:24am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 25 Dec @ 1:08pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 26 Apr, 2022 @ 9:02pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 7 May, 2022 @ 9:34pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2022 @ 12:09pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 21 Apr, 2022 @ 1:15pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 21 Apr, 2022 @ 12:56pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 25 Dec @ 7:47am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2022 @ 11:48am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 21 Apr, 2022 @ 12:24pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 5 May, 2022 @ 5:44pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2022 @ 10:45am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2022 @ 11:52am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2022 @ 10:45am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2022 @ 11:54am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 20 Apr, 2022 @ 12:07pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 21 Apr, 2022 @ 5:17pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 19 Apr, 2022 @ 11:19am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 25 Dec @ 2:01pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 25 Dec @ 6:39am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

9 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

2 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

7 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

5 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

5 / 30

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

12 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30