Greetings, lesser beings. I am Lord Voldemort, formerly known as Tom Marvolo Riddle. Yes, I did a bit of anagramming and voilà—a new identity, because who wants to be called Tom forever?

My childhood was…well, let’s call it "character-building." Raised in an orphanage, I quickly learned that magic was the perfect way to entertain myself and, occasionally, terrify others. Fast forward to Hogwarts, where I was sorted into Slytherin, because, obviously, I'm destined for greatness and not bad haircuts like those Gryffindors.

Hogwarts was a blast. Made some lifelong frenemies and discovered my true passion: immortality. I dabbled in horcruxes, which, spoiler alert, involves splitting your soul. Some people collect stamps; I collect soul fragments. To each their own.

My ambition led me to try and take over the wizarding world. Sadly, I was foiled multiple times by a kid who probably spends more on glasses repair than on books. But hey, even Dark Lords have off days. Or years. Decades, even.

Despite the setbacks, my legacy lives on in dark artifacts, terrifying bedtime stories, and the occasional noseless Halloween costume. I’ve left an indelible mark on the world, and by indelible, I mean indelible. Seriously, it won't come off.

So, that’s me in a nutshell: orphan, Slytherin, dark wizard extraordinaire, and occasional fashion victim. Remember, it’s Voldemort, with a silent 'T'. Because if you’re going to fear a name, at least pronounce it right.