i love war. i really love war. i love killing people. I love bombing people halfway across the world with a push of a button. i love when a soldier gets reduced to nothing but a red smear on the ground by a gbu-12 paveway aerial laser-guided 500lbs general purpose bomb. i love when their mouths get filled with blood as a bullet rips through their right pectoralis major, fragmenting and shredding muscle, bone and organs. i love watching cloth bind to skin as they’re coated with napalm, screaming all the while. screams are fun. i like when they scream. like when the autoloader of a t-72 catches fire and they bang on the hull of the tank, begging to be let out before the pressure builds and they are cooked alive. war is fun. it’s like a game. rack up the most points to win. speaking of games, have you ever heard of this game called war thunder? it’s my favourite game. i love nukes. there’s nothing better than nukes. glorious flame. glorious radiation. it is the ultimate symbol of freedom. freedom from this earth. speaking of freedom, do you know what else should be free? the f-35. i really like the f-35. it’s the best fighter jet ever. it’s so good that i want to marry it. i got a priest to come to our wedding at whiteman afb, located at 38°43’49” n 093°32’53”w, but the guards there started hitting me and told me to leave. one day i am going to be with my wife and we will cruise around the world. maybe along the way we can do a little tomfoolery at the three gorges dam in yichang, west taiwan, and also make metro 2033 in real life. all i’m saying is give war a chance. peace is boring. i spent all my life savings into lockheed martin stocks, and i want to make some money. i am officially petitioning you, joseph robinette biden, to give me a nuclear bomb. i want to turn moscow into glass and make the covenant on reach look merciful. please give me a nuke. please please pleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease