"Give Respect to Earn Respect"











I was only 9 years old
>I loved Linear Algebra so much, I had all the merchandise and movies
>I pray to Gauss every night before bed, thanking him for the life I’ve been given
>"Matrix is love" I say; “Matrix is life”
>My dad hears me and calls me a nerd
>I know he was just jealous of my devotion for solving linear combinations
>I called him an irreducible matrix
>He slaps me and sends me to go to sleep
>I’m crying now, and my face hurts
>I lay in bed and it’s really cold
>Suddenly, a warmth is moving towards me
>It’s Carl Friedrich Gauss
>I am so happy
>He whispers into my ear “This is my Eigenvalue.”
>He grabs me with his powerful math hands and puts me down onto my hands and knees
>I’m ready
>I caluculate my dot-products for Gauss
>He multiplies my matrices
>It hurts so much but I do it for Gauss
>I can feel my matrix reducing as my eyes start to water
>I push against his force
>I want to please Gauss
>He roars in a mighty roar as he eliminates my rows with his love
>My dad walks in
>Gauss looks him straight in the eyes and says “It’s all upper triangular now.”
>Gauss leaves through my window
>Matrix is love. Matrix is life.