MINIONS
by
Brian Lynch
Universal/ Illumination Entertainment
2230 Broadway
Santa Monica, CA 90404
310.593.8800
THIS MATERIAL IS THE PROPERTY OF ILLUMINATION ENTERTAINMENT AND IS
INTENDED AND RESTRICTED SOLELY FOR ILLUMINATION PERSONNEL.
DISTRIBUTION OR DISCLOSURE OF THIS MATERIAL TO UNAUTHORIZED
PERSONS IS PROHIBITED. THE SALE, DISPLAY, COPYING OR REPRODUCTION
OF THIS MATERIAL FOR ANY REASON IN ANY FORM, INCLUDING BUT NOT
LIMITED TO DIGITAL OR NEW MEDIA, IS ALSO PROHIBITED.
1 INT: MICROSCOPIC VIEW 1
The beginning of all there is. We follow simple AMOEBAS
floating about. They are shapeless single-celled organisms
which bob to and fro. Suddenly, a BIGGER AMOEBA begins to
PUSH AROUND the smaller amoebas, asserting its dominance.
Three tiny YELLOW (MINION) AMOEBAS observe, but then an EVEN
BIGGER AMOEBA gobbles up the smaller one. The tiny Minion
amoebas follow the carnivorous one off-screen.
As bigger and more EVIL CREATURES present themselves, the
Minion Amoebas start following THEM. Yes, ever since the
beginning of time, Minions just wanted to serve the most
wicked master.
We FOLLOW THE MINION AMOEBAS through time, as they slowly
evolve, growing eyes, arms, etc. Their masters evolve as
well. Eventually they begin following EVIL FISH, and then an
EVIL AMPHIBIAN.
As the Evil Amphibian swims to the surface, the three Minions
are joined by HUNDREDS of OTHER MINIONS, as they happily
follow their new master out of the water.
TITLE CARD: MINIONS
END TITLE SEQUENCE.
2 EXT: PREHISTORIC BEACH - DAY 2
Naked MINIONS, covered only in seaweed, follow the Evil
Amphibian onto the shore.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Minions. Minions have been on this
planet far longer than we have.
They go by many names...Dave,
Carl...Paul...Mike...
One naked Minion notices that he has no seaweed and grabs two
starfish from the water, which he places strategically on his
chest.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
...oh, that one is Norbert. He’s
an idiot.
The Minions walk on.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
They’re all different, but they all
share the same goal.
A giant T-REX smashes the Evil Amphibian.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
To serve the most despicable master
they could find.
A Minion points to the T-Rex, excited---
EXCITED MINION
Boss!
The T-Rex ROARS.
3 EXT: PREHISTORIC PLAINS - LATER 3
The T-Rex walks along, followed by a group of Minions.
Numerous Minions ride on top of him, scratching his back and
scrubbing his head.
NARRATOR (V.O)
Making their master happy was the
tribe’s very reason for existence.
That’s not to say that they didn’t
have OTHER passions....
Two Minions notice bananas growing on a bush.
MINION 1
Oh, hey! Looka! C’est un banono!
One tries to pull a banana from beneath a large boulder. He
finally pulls it out and holds it above his head
triumphantly.
MINION 2
C’est la banana! Ha ha! YUM YUM!
The boulder then rolls down a steep hill toward the T-Rex.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Finding a boss was easy. But
KEEPING a boss, therein lies the
rub.
The boulder hits the T-Rex and sends him rolling down the
hill, balancing on the boulder with his hind legs. The
Minions follow him frantically.
MINIONS
Boss! Boss! Big boss!
MINIONS BL Draft 2.
The T-Rex dodges tree branches as he heads toward the edge of
a cliff, which launches into a volcano. He manages to stop
at the very edge.
Three Minions look down after him, wanting to help, but are
accidentally pushed forward when the others arrive. They
roll down toward the T-Rex. Two are stopped by rocks, but
the last one stops just short of the boulder. As he sits up,
he accidentally knocks his head against the boulder, which
sends the T-Rex plummeting into the volcano. The Minions
begin to CRY. One SLAPS the Minion who caused the boulder to
fall.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Nope, it wasn’t easy for these
guys. BUT they never gave up.
THE IMAGE DISSOLVES into a CAVE PAINTING depicting the TRex’s plunge into the volcano.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
With the emergence of the Stone
Age, came the rise of a new
species...
We then see the arrival of MAN (caveman, to be exact) in the
cave paintings.
4 EXT: VALLEY - DAY 4
A MONKEY uses a rock to hammer the ground. A CAVEMAN
approaches him and tries to eat the rock.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Man was VERY DIFFERENT from the
dinosaur. He was shorter, hairier,
and way, way smarter.
The Monkey SCREECHES and the Caveman PUNCHES him offscreen.
The Minions CHEER and follow the Caveman.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
The Minions took an instant liking
to man...
A BEAR charges the Caveman.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
...and helped him best they
could...
The Caveman goes to GRAB A BIG HUNK OF WOOD on the ground.
It will make a great club! But...
MINIONS BL Draft 3.
MINION (O.S.)
No, no! Te--la pinata!
The Caveman TURNS...
...the Minion hands him a FLY SWATTER.
The Caveman looks to the Minions, confused. They assure him
that it’s okay. He hits the bear with the fly swatter.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Poor man. So trusting. So
fragile.
The Bear attacks the Caveman while the Minions watch in
horror. They nonchalantly back away offscreen.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
So, so delicious.
DISSOLVE TO EGYPTIAN HIEROGLYPHICS. Sure enough, there are
Minions carved among the humans.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Their quest for a boss put the
Minions front and center for some
of civilization’s most historic
moments.
5 EXT: PYRAMIDS - DAY 5
A cool PHARAOH is standing atop a GIANT PLATFORM at the
dedication of a NEW PYRAMID!
PHAROAH
Raa kaba ank! Anubis! Hi-yah!
The Pharaoh proudly SNAPS HIS WHIP before HUNDREDS OF
FOLLOWERS ON THE GROUND. He SNAPS his whip, they CHEER!
NARRATOR (V.O.)
Ancient Egypt held great promise...
Minion construction workers stand nearby. One of the Minions
christens the pyramid like a new ship. We PULL BACK TO
REVEAL the pyramid has been built upside-down and is
precariously balancing on what is supposed to be the top.
The pyramid tips over onto the Pharaoh and the Pharaoh’s
Followers. SPLAT! All dead.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
...but it didn’t last long.
MINIONS BL Draft 4.
A Minion looks at blueprints of the pyramid. He realizes he
had them upside-down. He turns them right-side up. The
other Minion slaps him in the back of the head.
6 INT: CASTLE DRACULA - MORNING 6
The Minions tip-toe into DRACULA’s bedroom, where he is
asleep in his coffin.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
The Dark Ages were actually fun
times. Their new master had a
tendency to party all night and
sleep all day.
The Minions pull open his coffin, waking him up...
DRACULA
Ratch-ooturi?
...to see all The Minions have converged to celebrate his
357th birthday! They have a banner and a cake with candles
and everything!
They YANK OPEN THE CURTAINS, letting the sun in, as they
CHEER.
Dracula SCREAMS and the sun INSTANTLY turns him to a statue
of dust.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
But eventually, the party was over.
A Minion nervously blows out the candle, also blowing the
dust statue of Dracula away onto another Minion, who SNEEZES.
7 EXT: BATTLEFIELD - DAY 7
NAPOLEON stands next to a cannon and raises his sword.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
They bounced from one evil boss to
another... But they never seemed
to find their perfect fit.
NAPOLEON
Feu!
One of the Minions lights the cannon while another stands on
top of it. The Minion on the cannon steps forward when
shouting an order, and the cannon tilts downward, aiming at
Napoleon. It FIRES, blasting him off-screen.
MINIONS BL Draft 5.
8 EXT: HILLSIDE - DAY 8
The Minions RUN FOR IT, stampeding over the snowy hills away
from the French Army.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
One particular employer took their
failure very, very badly.
A group of soldiers charges the Minions.
The Minions disappear into the distance.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
The Minions had no other choice but
to keep moving.
The Minions approach a CAVE.
NARRATOR (V.O.)
And then, when all hope seemed
lost...
9 INT: CAVE - DAY 9
The Minions walk into the cave and look out at the large
amount of space t

Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022) | Transcript
August 3, 2022
The untold story of one twelve-year-old's dream to become the world's greatest supervillain.
Minions: The Rise of Gru (2022)
In the heart of the 1970s, amidst a flurry of feathered hair and flared jeans, Gru (Steve Carell) is growing up in the suburbs. A fanboy of a supervillain supergroup known as the Vicious 6, Gru hatches a plan to become evil enough to join them. Luckily, he gets some mayhem-making back-up from his loyal followers, the Minions. Together, Kevin, Stuart, Bob, and Otto – a new Minion sporting braces and a desperate need to please – deploy their skills as they and Gru build their first lair, experiment with their first weapons, and pull off their first missions. When the Vicious 6 oust their leader, legendary fighter Wild Knuckles (Alan Arkin), Gru interviews to become their newest member. It doesn’t go well (to say the least), and only gets worse after Gru outsmarts them and suddenly finds himself the mortal enemy of the apex of evil. On the run, Gru will turn to an unlikely source for guidance, Wild Knuckles, and discover that even bad guys need a little help from their friends.

* * *

[grand orchestral fanfare playing]

♪

Illumination! [laughs]

[whooping]

[yells, grunts]

[whimpers]

[speaking Minionese excitedly]

Ooh. Minion!

♪ Yeah

♪ Ooh

♪ When you wish upon a star

♪ Your dreams will take you very far ♪

[tires squeal]

[laughs]

♪ But when you wish upon a dream ♪

♪ Life ain’t always what it seems, oh, yeah… ♪

Freeze! AVL!

♪ No matter who you are…

Hey! Hey!

[yells in pain]

Stop right there!

Grab her!

Oh. Ah!

Yeah, baby!

Attention, all units.

[chuckles]

[gasps]

Whoa!

[whoops, laughs]

AGENT: Look out!

You like that?

Hey!

♪ Shining star for you to see

♪ What your life can truly be… ♪

AGENT: Repeating, all units, villain is heading westbound…

♪ What your life can truly be

[elevator bell dings]

♪ Shining star

♪ For you to see

♪ What your life can truly be. ♪

Ooh, baby!

The Anti-Villain League can’t catch this.

Guess who stole the map.

[laughs]

Hallelujah! [laughs]

Yeah! I got this.

[whoops, laughs]

[laughs] Good work.


The map to the legendary Zodiac Stone.

We will become the most powerful villains in the world.

[all cheering]

Okay, let’s get a move on.

We leave for Asia tonight.

♪

[whooshing]

[laughs]

Okay, let’s see here.

[chuckles]

[stone scraping]

[clunks]

[rumbling]

[earbud beeps]

I’m in.

[yelps, screams]

[grunting]

[groans]

Hello, beautiful.

[chuckles]

[chuckles]

[door clunks shut]

Whoa!

What?

[chittering rapidly]

Oh.

[grunting]

[snarls]

[screams]

[grunting rapidly]

[panting]

Ha ha! Yes!

The Zodiac Stone.

[whirring]

Whoa.

[laughs]

Soon, the power of these unstoppable beasts

will be ours.

[gasps] Ah, for crying out loud.

[grunts, gasps]

Oh. [grunting]

Whoa. [laughs]

[buzzing]

Whoa. [yells]

[screams, yells]

Hurry up. I got a bunch of deadly tchotchkes on my tail.

Roger that on the copy.

Step on it, sister.

[grunts]

Hurry up! Come on!


[yells, grunts]

Off! Off!

[laughs]

I got it. I got the stone.

Party’s over, old man.

The Vicious Six has a new head honcho.

You just got played for a sucker!

Whoa! Hold on. I started this group.

We’re a team.

Where’s your loyalty?

Oh, please. We’re villains.

There’s no such thing.

It’s time for the next generation.

[laughs]

[screaming]

[“Bang, Bang” by G.E.M. playing]

[G.E.M. singing in Chinese]

♪ Bang, bang

[singing continues in Chinese]

-♪ Bang, bang -[Gru and Minions laughing]

[singing continues in Chinese]

-♪ Bang, bang -[Minions grunting]

[singing continues in Chinese]

♪ Bang, bang

[singing continues in Chinese]

[yelling]

[Minions screaming]

[exclaims in Minionese]

[G.E.M. vocalizing]

♪ Hey!

♪ Hey! Hey!

♪ Hey!

♪ Bang, bang

♪ Bang, bang.

[song ends]

TEACHER: Quiet down, class.

Quiet down, class.

[children chattering]

People, people.

So, what do you want to be

when you grow up?

STUDENT: Ooh! Ooh, ooh!

Samantha.

I want to be a doctor.

Wonderful.

Oh, oh!

Bradley.

I want to be a teacher.

No, you do not.

STUDENT: Ooh! Me, me!


Yes.

I want to be a fireman who is also the president

and-and also drives race cars. Yeah.

Exciting.

And what about you, Gru?

Gru?

Me?

I want to be…

a supervillain.

♪

[laughter]

Supervillain?

Supervillain.

Loser!

[bell ringing]

[whooping, excited chatter]

♪ I’m having a bad, bad day

♪ It’s about time that I get my way… ♪

Kelly!

Daddy!

Brett!

[laughs] Mom!

Gru!

Kiss-a la mama!

Oh. My favorite tiny relatives. [chuckles uneasily]

[Minions giggling, speaking Minionese]

Eh, oh, no. Guys, come on.

[smooching repeatedly]

Hey.

I got an image to uphold here.

[Minions giggling]

[Gru yelps]

[speaking Minionese]

Okay.

Hey, are you guys pumped for the movie?

Let’s go!

[beeps]

[laughs]

[yelling, laughing]

[woman screams over speakers]

[Jawstheme playing]

[music crescendos, then stops]

[loud sound of flatulence]

[people groaning]

WOMAN: Oh, no!

[people groaning, coughing and screaming]

[Bob speaking Minionese]

[speaking Minionese]

WOMAN [over speakers]: Shark! A shark!

[all laughing]


[man screaming over speakers]

[bells dinging]

GRU: Oh!

I am a pinball wizard.

[dinging rapidly]

[laughs]

Swish. Swish. Swish. Swish. Swish.

Swish. Swish.

Swish. Swish. Swish. Swish.

[whirring]

[Gru laughing]

[babbling]

Bello. -Bello.

Bello.

Bello. Bello.

Bello. -Bello.

[speaking Minionese]

[laughing, whooping]

WOMAN: Everything you got.

A little more. Come on.

[sighs] -Put some of those sprinkles on there.

I like those sprinkles.

[Stuart laughs]

Cheese-Ray! Cheese-Ray!

Cheese-Ray! [laughs]

Don’t cheese me, bro.

[laughs maniacally]

[giggles, grunts]

Pank you!

Mmm! So creamy, so delicious.

Worth every calorie.

Ah, mmm!

[bell dings]

♪ I’m having a bad, bad day

♪ If you take it personal, that’s okay ♪

♪ Watch, this is so fun to see… ♪

Bills, magazines,

S&H Green Stamps.

Huh?

Ooh!

Ooh, ooh, ooh!

Holy guacamole!

Where can we listen? Where can we listen?

[speaking Minionese]

Hello, Mr. Gru.

We’ve received your application to the world’s best

supervillain team, the Vicious Six.

A recent opening has become available,

and…

And?


…your interview is tomorrow at noon.

[whoops]

Dyn-o-mite!

[exclaiming in Minionese]

BELLE BOTTOM: Please go to 417 Main Street.

The password is: “You’re no good.”

“You’re no good.” Mm-hmm.

Now, get up on the down stroke,

’cause this invitation is gonna explode, baby.

Explode? Oh.

Oh, no, no, no, no!

[small explosion]

[all coughing, hacking]

Oot! [giggles]

Oot! Oot!

[giggles] Oot! Oot!

Ooh. Very big news, Mom!

[Gru’s mom and man groan]

Mom?

[groaning continues]

Mom?

[groaning continues]

[both groaning]

What?

Mom, who is this sweaty guy?

He’s stinking up the house.

I thought you were cooking cabbage.

He’s my new guru.

[Kevin scoffs]

[groans]

[laughs, groans]

[babbling]

Tell your weird buddies they’d better start

pulling their weight around here,

or I’m kicking them out.

They are killing my mellow vibes.

[babbles mockingly]

GRU’S MOM: Hey! I heard that!

♪

Come on. Let’s go tell the troops the good news.

Gentlemen, t