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26 of 89 (29%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.
Unlocked 28 Apr, 2019 @ 12:02pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.
Unlocked 5 May, 2019 @ 5:41pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.
Unlocked 7 May, 2019 @ 5:48am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.
Unlocked 28 Apr, 2019 @ 12:43pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.
Unlocked 28 Apr, 2019 @ 8:04am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.
Unlocked 29 Apr, 2019 @ 6:22am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.
Unlocked 1 May, 2019 @ 9:36am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.
Unlocked 5 May, 2019 @ 6:28pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.
Unlocked 3 Oct, 2020 @ 1:31pm

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.
Unlocked 4 Oct, 2020 @ 11:46am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.
Unlocked 3 Oct, 2020 @ 1:13pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.
Unlocked 25 Jun @ 2:11pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.
Unlocked 20 Dec, 2023 @ 4:30am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.
Unlocked 5 May, 2019 @ 6:27pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.
Unlocked 4 Oct, 2020 @ 11:14am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.
Unlocked 7 May, 2019 @ 6:22am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.
Unlocked 4 Oct, 2020 @ 11:51am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.
Unlocked 7 May, 2019 @ 5:48am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.
Unlocked 5 May, 2019 @ 5:47pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.
Unlocked 28 Apr, 2019 @ 7:28am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.
Unlocked 25 Jun @ 3:25pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.
Unlocked 28 Apr, 2019 @ 12:46pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.
Unlocked 28 Apr, 2019 @ 12:03pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.
Unlocked 28 Apr, 2019 @ 7:55am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.
Unlocked 28 Apr, 2019 @ 12:14pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.
Unlocked 28 Apr, 2019 @ 12:05pm



Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.
0 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.
4 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.
3 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.
1 / 10

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.
2 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.
2 / 3

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.
11 / 30

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.
0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.
0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.
0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.
0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.
0 / 30

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.
2 / 10
+15

15 hidden achievements remaining

Details for each achievement will be revealed once unlocked