How to make a CPU from scratch (any% speedrun glitchless):

1) Get a rock.
2) Smash the rock.
3) Now you have 98% concentrated silicon dioxide. Purify it to 99.9% pure silicon dioxide.
4) Purify it further to 99.9999999% polysilicon metal.
5) Put the polysilicon ingots into a crucible.
6) Heat the silicon ingots to 1698 °K.
7) Take a small seed monocrystal and dip it into the vat of molten silicon.
8) Slowly pull the crystal out as it cools.
9) Now, you've a monocrystal of pure silicon. Cut it into thin slices.
10) Now, you've got pristine freshly-cut silicon wafers. Optionally, dope them with Boron, Phosphorus or another dopant.
11) Put photoresist on the wafer.
12) Take a chromium-etched photo-lithographic quartz mask with your desired circuit pattern and shine a laser beam through it to project the circuit pattern onto the wafer.
13) The locations of the shadows produced by the photo-mask will control where the photo-resist is chemically changed on the surface of the silicon wafer (depending on whether you used positive or negative photoresist).
14) Now, develop the photoresist.
15) Acid etch the exposed parts of the wafer.
16) Perform countless iterations and repetitions of ♥♥♥♥-epitaxy, hetero-epitaxy, pseudo-epitaxy, diffusion doping, copper interconnect layers, chemical mechanical polishing, photoresist applications, acid etching, and photomask exposing to build up the desired features on the wafer.
17) Now you've got a finished silicon wafer. Cut it into pieces.
18) Now you've got un-packaged silicon dies. Locate the pads on the silicon chip, and attach bond wires, or use the flip-chip method as is done now for most modern processors.
19) Use the bond wires or solder balls to provide an electrical connection between the pins on the chip package, and the pads on the silicon die.