Recent reviews by absolut | todoroki

Escape from aliens covered in jizz naked while listening to "What Is Love".

Oh, and the earth blows up.

Putin Approves/Putin Approves

MW2 - No Russian
CS:GO - No Americano

Realism 10/10

Lol, I thought these were the main missions. These DLC missions are and were all my favorites.
I personly got the complete edition for like 3,50€ something. You are missing out if you don´t get this.
And don´t you wanna have more time to spend with Rusty? Ah, Rusty. ♥♥♥♥ Roy

Review - Alpha Prime

I stopped playing this simply because of how hard it was. Or the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ healing system. I saved more here than what I would do on pirated Skyrim on a linux laptop. I played on normal and would play it over again on Easy, but the healing system won´t improve and the fact that I dont have the time for it.
After all I have spent more hours on this than Fallout 3 and Watch dogs lol.

Pros
Graphics - I loved the graphics. They just gave me this feeling. Like a Alien Isolation made 5-10 years ago.
Smoothness - Easy 100-200 fps. Barely even requires a GPU.
Story - Of the time I played I loved the story, which was kinda destroyed by the cutscenes, which I will go over laiter.
Grabbing feature - This, I loved. It did help some, like moving covers of ammo boxes, but mostly dropping plates on severed bodies was fun.
2007 Game - For a game released 8 years ago its awesome. But then again Postal 2 was released in 2003?
Windows 10 compatible

Cons
Aiming - You tilt your gun and the reticle just gets bigger? Retarded aiming, even for the sniper.
Cutscenes/Voice Acting - Don´t even.
Healing/Difficulty - Impossible to bust in and shoot everything but the mechanics for this was the thing that ruined this game for me.
Sneaking/shift walking - Useless, the enemies will wallhack and spot you anyways. They won´t even get VAC:ed.

Summary:
Poor man´s Postal 2 + Half life 2. Could be good in the long wait for HL3.
Worth: Probably the 50 cents I payed for it.
Rating: 5/10 but do recommend it if u play on Easy and is rather careful.

Summary: The uninstall feature is unbeliavebly fast.

In-depth review:
Honestly I got this for like 20 cents or something and it everything pisses me off.
First I got stuck in the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ loading screen with ♥♥♥♥ annoying music and me thinking its a normal game tries to click it away, but no, space is ♥♥♥♥♥♥ clickin? You move the cursors with the mouse and press with space? How the ♥♥♥♥ does that make sense?

Anyways, after your balls have recovered from the cancer they got from the intro music, the first few levels are just horrible. Not player friendly at all. No control teaching, murse cursor stuck on screen and going into settings to find controls is just a pain in the ass. Ah this isn´t even worht this f*king game.

F*k this review.

Rating: I would rather have a feminazi swing a golf club between my legs rather than to play this ♥♥♥♥ again. With other words buy this game!

666/666 would avenge the jews on 1 000 custom zombie maps again