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United States 
'SAA! I play games with my boyfriend in crime (and justice), 
Instantly everyone nearby hears the sound of 1,000s of bricks rapidly shuffling towards his location.
The earth itself seemed to cry out in agony, until finally the ground itself split open and a horrific creature crawled from the ground, covered in mucus and tar.
”Joe Momma…” the creature whispered.
The man cried out in pain as he disintegrated into dust, and the whole world fell silent in fear.
"I did a little trolling." the wretched creature remarked before burrowing back into the earth.
I think I made my first close internet friend (who migrated with me across sites) in 2009, but you're by far the closest and the only one that's still around after that long. Look at us now.