At my zoo, we circumcise all our gorillas because the eldest gorilla is Jewish and demands it. We can't argue with faith, and since we also shave our gorillas, we find the circumcised gorilla penises to be much more visually appealing, and I know our guests enjoy that touch as well because I've had many, many people come up to me and tell me how much they admire the penises on our shaved, Jewish gorillas, and that's when I take the opportunity to try to convert them to Judaism on the elder gorilla's behalf. I just want to make papa proud. I'd say at least a dozen or so people convert every summer, especially after the body show that the gorillas put on every 4th of July.

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